The term ‘feminism’ seems to be evoking quite extreme reactions from some men (and women) these days, most of which might be based in a misunderstanding of what the term means.
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The basic meaning of feminism as I, and the dictionary, understand it, is: a movement to promote equal rights and equality of opportunity for everyone, regardless of their gender, sexuality, appearance, physical condition etc. Because they are the largest group and most visible group facing an equality challenge, it has largely been women fighting for their human rights, a process that’s being going on steadily since the Suffragettes.
When feminism is represented as being ‘anti men’ (a concept most feminists would find absurd) or wanting women to have special privileges rather than just equality, it’s no wonder many men react instinctively by digging their heels in and defending their own right to be treated with dignity and respect. Some men who are perhaps insecure about their male identify are reacting with an ‘attack as a means of defence’ approach by joining one of the growing number of so called ‘men’s rights’ groups.
But I see feminists as men’s friends! The concept of equality incorporates freedom from fear and oppression, which fits exactly with efforts to understand and address issues like male suicide, male victims of violence (from a male or a female perpetrator); men’s limited access to their children; and all aspects of male inequality that, ironically, the men’s rights movement accuses ‘feminists’ of being either indifferent to, or actually encouraging. But anyone who believes in ‘equality’ must believe in it for everyone; so by definition, a true feminist would support opposing and changing all these things for men
I grew up in an era when the whole notion of women’s rights was gaining ground fast, and looking back, I think that all my girlfriends and partners then, and since then (and pretty much all of my women friends) would, at least until about five years ago, have described themselves without hesitation as feminists. However, I asked a few of them about this recently, and now they’re not so sure. They’re concerned that the term is now associated with ‘men hating’ and other kinds of negativity that they didn’t relate to.
The change was even more striking with male friends who I know are strong believers in, and supporters of, equality of all kinds (including gender equality) and fighters against oppression. But when it came to identifying themselves as ‘feminist men’, they felt uneasy. It seems the anti equality lobby has done a good job in promoting the idea that a feminist woman is confrontational, irrational, strident, anti male; and to be a male feminist means to be at the beck and call of such extremists and to collude shamefully with them in the victimisation of their brothers. I suspect that’s not accidental. It’s a well known propaganda tool to accuse any oppressed group of the same things that they are fighting against, because however distorted the claims are it effectively dilutes their credibility.
I’m proud to call myself a feminist because the commitment to equality that is is enshrined in that idea it encourages me to take more proactive attitude towards challenging the ingrained attitudes and behaviour of a ‘masculine culture’ which prioritises power, competition and personal enrichment – goals which may have been useful to us as a species in the past but which are now bringing us to a precipice of severe social, economic and environmental crises – over values of collaboration and equality which are now in the best interests of all of us, of whatever gender – and of the planet. So I do what I can to support what women are trying to achieve with feminism; and according to a feminist friend, the best way I can do that is “stop being in the way!”) at the same time as I work to improve men’s rights.
It’s a well known propaganda tool to accuse any oppressed group of the same things that they are fighting against, because however distorted the claims are it effectively dilutes their credibility.
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For their part, as well as being the most delightful of companions, women have taught me much about how to communicate well, to care for others and for myself, to love well (and make love well), to respect nature and generally to become a healthier, happier and more well-rounded human being, without giving up any of my essential ‘masculinity’. From my perspective I can only gain if women gain more independence, respect and influence in all areas of our society. I can’t see anything to be afraid of. In fact it’s other men who tend to make me nervous; especially the ones who seem so ready to resort to guns as a way so settle grievances or gain relief from their inner demons.
If women feel supported by men in their striving for equality, they’ll be able to trust us more deeply, and will be much more predisposed to offer us their support for our own issues. This seems to me to be probably the best and most important thing that could happen to men since we first killed a sabre tooth tiger and dragged the meat and skins home to please our woman and feed our family. More men being willing to stand up and call themselves male feminists would be a good step in the right direction.
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“It’s a well known propaganda tool to accuse any oppressed group of the same things that they are fighting against, because however distorted the claims are it effectively dilutes their credibility.” That is indeed a potential tool of propaganda that may be employed. However, it is wise to remember that such a transparent and baseless ploy (when it is indeed baseless or false) typically runs the risk of substantially damaging the credibility of those who deploy it recklessly, as much or more it is damaging to those who it is employed upon: Typically, the more ungrounded, spectacular, or distorted the accusation,… Read more »
“a true feminist would support opposing and changing all these things for men ”
Then then a very small minority of people calling themselves feminists who are true feminists with the majority being fake. Why then fight for a label that has lost it’s meaning?
“When feminism is represented as being ‘anti men’ (a concept most feminists would find absurd) or wanting women to have special privileges rather than just equality, it’s no wonder many men react instinctively by digging their heels in and defending their own right to be treated with dignity and respect… It seems the anti equality lobby has done a good job in promoting the idea that a feminist woman is confrontational, irrational, strident, anti male; and to be a male feminist means to be at the beck and call of such extremists and to collude shamefully with them in the… Read more »
Also feminism =/= women.
“It seems the anti equality lobby has done a good job in promoting the idea that a feminist woman is confrontational, irrational, strident, anti male; ” It was the feminists themselves that did this. Talks about male suicide are violently protested and cancelled. (yet somehow they claim to be oppressed…) College professors are gleefully cackling about #male tears and #killallmen. On TV half a dozen women laugh because a real person was castrated by his wife because he dared to divorce her. (and subsequently, none of those women were fired from their jobs) Colleges are now 60% plus female, yet… Read more »
I’m someone who advocates for men’s rights. I also don’t call myself an anti-feminist and in fact I like hanging out at the r/askfeminists subreddit. Most probably 80-90% of the time I find that they make fair arguments. But I still do have a problem with feminism. For one, I don’t believe it is an adequate vehicle to address men’s rights/issues. Feminism rightfully makes the assertion that it is addressing men’s rights by tackling the same root causes that also affect women’s issues. They purport that if they are capable of eliminating the “patriarchy” then in the end men will… Read more »
“But I see feminists as men’s friends! The concept of equality incorporates freedom from fear and oppression, which fits exactly with efforts to understand and address issues like male suicide, male victims of violence (from a male or a female perpetrator); men’s limited access to their children; and all aspects of male inequality that, ironically, the men’s rights movement accuses ‘feminists’ of being either indifferent to, or actually encouraging. But anyone who believes in ‘equality’ must believe in it for everyone; so by definition, a true feminist would support opposing and changing all these things for men The feminist movement… Read more »
Right out of the gate you’re wrong. Definition of feminism : the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities : organized activity in support of women’s rights and interests OR fem·i·nism ˈfeməˌnizəm/Submit noun the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. synonyms: the women’s movement, the feminist movement, women’s liberation, female emancipation, women’s rights; OR https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism Which is too long to cut and paste. You conveniently added “… equality of opportunity for everyone, regardless of their gender, sexuality, appearance, physical condition etc..” which can similarly be found in… Read more »
I think Joseph Gelfer’s article on here earlier today made an insightful observation; the cohesive dictionary definition of feminism doesn’t reflect the reality where multiple “femenisms” exist concurrently. One school of thought doesn’t necessarily end just because another takes shape.