Phil Leech believes that breastfeeding moms should be supported, not shamed.
Its hard to believe that being pro-respecting mothers and pro-feeding babies could possibly be something contentious in modern western societies. But if the social media backlash against Karlesha Thurman – a twenty-five year old graduate of California State University who dared to breastfeed her baby daughter at her graduation, and post a picture on the Facebook page ‘Black Women Do Breastfeed’ – is anything to go by, mothers, and hungry babies, still face horrible and vicious social stigma. This needs to end. Right now.
Any negative or hostile reaction to something as benign and caregiving as breastfeeding is not only obviously nonsensical and incredibly oppressive it is intensely political. In other words, the furore that has surrounded Ms Thurman following this event should be read not only as malicious sniping by social media-bullies, but as part of a bigger picture where women’s access to public space – and therefore women’s legitimacy as full political actors in modern society – is severely challenged by backward, patriarchal, social norms.
Once Ms Thurman’s picture went viral she became the subject of an intense social commentary. Some critics stated that her actions were ‘inappropriate’; others implied that by having become a mother she also became an undeserving graduate and even – most depressing of all – some awful human being posting under the handle “@_standJordan” called her a ‘Hoe’.
As a passing observer who doesn’t know Ms Thurman or any of the commentators, its not obvious why I should care about these events. But there are three good reasons I why I do… and why I hope you will too:
1. It’s a huge achievement. I’m in my late 20s, male and therefore – obviously – I’m neither a mother nor a hungry baby. However, I am someone who has spent a lot of time studying and teaching in Universities. During this time I’ve learned very well that completing an undergraduate degree is not easy for anyone – particularly in this tough economic climate where there are lots of other strains on everyone’s money and time.
Those students I’ve met along the way who have managed their academic work alongside parenthood have my profound respect and admiration. The added pressures particularly on time and money, that those students confront, dwarf anything I faced on my toughest day as an undergraduate.
In other words, any comment that suggests that Ms Thurman is unworthy of anything other than congratulations and admiration on her graduation day is a comment that is completely ignorant what she – and all graduating parents – have achieved.
2. This keeps happening. Ms Thurman is only the latest in a long line of women who have been confronted by the brunt of such social media bullying for breastfeeding in public. Another example was in March in my native UK, where a breastfeeding mother, Emily Slough, was labelled a ‘tramp’ by an anonymous online commentator. In the UK case there was an outpouring of support for Ms Slough’s right to breastfeed. Evidently the message hadn’t sunk in to those who felt the right to abuse Ms Thurman.
3. This is about politics. In particular, this about whether or not society really accepts women as fully equal or not. The fact that there is a debate at all about mothers’ breastfeeding in public suggests that we are far from that goal.
In this case, the notion that breastfeeding could be ‘inappropriate’ has the effect of controlling women’s access to some social environments. In short: it forces women to choose between their identities as mothers – of which breastfeeding may be an integral part – or the right to be in that social space.
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Not convinced? Think about other examples: of how many ‘debates’ you have read/heard about that deal with what women wear and/or how women act in public spaces? – they might include: the revolting phenomenon of ‘slutshaming’, exaggeratedly earnest debates over ‘appropriate’ religious clothing or what female celebrities/politicians are wearing, associating powerful women with bossiness and/or the objectification of women in the media/advertising.
How many similar examples of ‘debates’ about how men dress or act in public spaces can you think of? I bet there are not many.
Its long been understood that patriarchy uses women’s bodies as a battleground upon which the interests of (usually, but not always) men are pitted in competition to each other, that oppression is carried out and that the dominance of those who are already powerful is ensured.
The hate and abuse levelled at Ms Thurman and Ms Slough are the worst possible ways in which a discussion like this could have been opened, but now that it is open, this is a good chance to assert support for women like Ms Thurman and Ms Slough, for motherhood in general, for feeding babies (!) and most importantly, for challenging patriarchal social norms.
Photo: Sharon/flickr
I’ll never understand the complaints as rational in any shape or form. To me, the rational thing would always be to realize that there’s no harm to it, and therefore not care.
Far as I can tell, the complaints can be reduced to 1) (internalized) misogyny, or 2) fear of sexuality – and, yeah, in many cases 2) can be reduced back to 1).
I’ve been out of the breast feeding loop with my own kids for many years.My wife beast fed and through out that time, she would do it in pubic but was modest about it. I’m surprised that in all the years, it’s still an issue.