Brandy Williams thinks about what it takes to teach sons how to choose someone who deserves their heart
There aren’t a lot of times that I am stopped in my tracks from something that is said, but tonight, that is exactly what happened. I was watching television and overheard this statement, “We teach our girls to go for the king, but we forget to tell our boys to go for the queen.” I was dumbfounded. I thought how true and truly eloquent this statement was that it resonated with me and forced me to stop what I was doing and write.
I remember growing up, and constantly being told that I needed to think about my future. I remember being told that I was a prize and the guy that I chose needed to be as special, if not more than I. I remember being told to ‘date up’, so as to give myself the best potential in my future. But, do I honestly tell that to my son?
The truth of the matter is that, no, I do not. I don’t tell my son to look for the best girl, with the most of everything. I tell him to focus on himself. I tell him to be the best that he can be, so that when the time is right, he can have great options. I teach him to focus on everything else, outside of dating. Am I doing something wrong? Are other mothers teaching their sons the same things?
The questions kept coming, but I was short on answers. In fact, I ended up more confused and confined than when I began. Here is what I could discern….
- Society still places a stigma on manhood. This stigma often dictates that a man take care of his woman. More specifically, it makes finding and dating a woman who is of better stature, taboo. But I don’t buy into that idea. In fact, I don’t think there is anything wrong with a woman having more and/or making more than a woman. So, I don’t put importance on materialism.
- I don’t know if I am an overprotective mommy, or if I am just unrealistic. However, I don’t want to teach my son how to find any woman, because that means that I will have to face I am going to give him up. Yes, I’m aware that he will grow up. Yes, I’m aware that he is supposed to find love. That doesn’t mean that I have to show him how!
Am I doing something wrong by not teaching my son to go for the best? I may never know. Still, when the chips fall, I am confident that my son will choose someone worthy of his heart. After all, he has been built up and cherished by his mommy. Whomever he chooses has big shoes to follow.