After saving the world, men like to flirt and have a few drinks with the ladies too. Here’s some tips on how to do it.
Amidst your efforts to score, you may have unknowingly turning off oodles of women. That’s right, you may guilty of one or more fatal fatal faux pas in the art of seduction.
So, to circumvent this sad sexual reality, let’s check out the top 10 ways to turnoff a woman. Next time you head out at night, keep these tips in mind to turn your luck around.
1. Horrible, Dirty Shoes
It seems like a lot of women have more shoes than socks and underwear combined. Among other things (crazy expendable budget, love for shoes, etc.) this teaches us that women probably pay attention to footwear on others.
So, if you opt for dirty, mismatched, horrible shoes, you may repel women. It’s not that women are shallow, but first impressions do count. Nice shoes tend to last a lot longer, so get a pair, keep them clean and you’ll be looking great next time you approach a lady.
2. Bad Smells
Bad breath and unpleasant body odor are huge turnoffs for men and women alike. Why would anyone choose to date somebody with a stinky mouth?
It’s impossible to have even a good conversation comfortably. Keep that halitosis in check; since you never know who you may encounter, your mouth should be fresh at all times.
3. Being Wasted
Alcohol diminishes our inhibitions, but there’s no reason to lose control. Being wasted is not impressive to women. Keep your act together because nobody likes to chat with a guy who slurs uncontrollably.
4. Public Humiliation
Persistence is key, but persisting to the point of catalyzing a loud, public rejection should not be the goal.
Maybe it seems that this situation is impossible to avoid, that the reactions of others are unpredictable. But it’s not true.
If you get rejected after an approach, smile, say something like, “I understand, it was a pleasure meeting you,” and walk away gracefully. This will likely make her feel like crap and reduce your chances of public humiliation.
5. Negative Attitude
No woman wants to be with a guy who constantly depresses her. We score when we manage to make women feel good, so if you put out a negative vibe, you’re likely not getting lucky.
6. Cockiness
Although cockiness works with some girls (mostly those who are underage), most women aren’t into it. Cockiness highlights your narcissism and narcissism does not impress women (or anyone, truly). A guy who only speaks about about how great he is simultaneously shows women how unattractive he is.
7. No Space
Don’t invade her space in the pursuit to pick her up. Getting physically too close to a woman while flirting with her can be sleazy and, potentially, can come across as predatory. Talk for a while, feel the vibe, let her make the choice if she wants to stand close to you, or touch.
8. Embarrassing Friends
It’s likely you have a few embarrassing friends — most of us do. If your group of friends is full of loud drunks, you’ll have a tough time convincing a girl that you’re a different kind of guy. If you’re going out to meet women, the key is to bring friends who won’t destroy your image.
9. Be a Real Man
Real men don’t get into stupid brawls when offended. They’re sensitive but not unreasonable; most importantly, they respect women. Don’t let her see that her rejection or insult is affecting you.
10. Lack of Confidence
An overwhelming sense of insecurity is guaranteed to help you fail with women. The key to success is to continue to approach women until it becomes natural. You’ll feel confident once you feel comfortable.
If you want to increase your success with women, visit ThePlayerGuide.com. It disregards the “dating rulebook” in favor of more direct and fruitful methods for succeeding with women.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
Photo Elite Daily
About the author: Alex Matlock is an expert in dating and relationships. Apart from working on his Ph.D. in social psychology and writing for EliteDaily.com, he also owns two dating advice websites. Both are places where the “dating” mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct (and fruitful) methods of succeeding with the opposite sex. If you’re a man and want to increase your success with women, visit http://ThePlayerGuide.com. If you’re a woman and want to improve your love life’s success, visit http://TheSingleWomanGuide.com.
This is the worst random list ever put together in the history of everything. Put every empty platitude in on fell swoop and bam everyone loves it. Please and the “Be A Real Man” and “Lack of Confidence” thrown in there makes me want to hurl. Especially it all contradicts oh a rejection effects my emotions so I don’t respect women and number 8 is a joke she will meet them any way and if she has issues she can get the stepping. Also if I follow the logic of number 10 then a whole lot of women are insecure… Read more »
Why are articles like this only about men’s behavior? Because women never act rude or misbehave in public? If you really accept that we are equal, then you accept that both sides are capable of bad behavior. Why play the game in the first place when the “reward” is more trouble than the effort you have to put into it?
You’re right, Wes. There are rude, obnoxious and horrible PEOPLE out there — it is not confined to any gender by any means. However, I think this article is about men approaching women because this is “The Good Men Project”. The mission of the site states that it is a “worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century” and many of the readers that come here are hetero men to read articles for self-improvement. I personally come here as girlfriend, sister, daughter, teacher to better understand the men and boys in my life… Read more »
UGH! Typos! Sorry, Wes and everybody. I haven’t had my coffee yet this morning!
I meant:
“Rather than worry about what’s lacking in this article for you, maybe you could write and submit an article about the -WAYS- a woman can be rude or hurtful to men when they approach her, and how she could be more respectful and understanding whether she wants the attention of the approaching man or not.”
“Playing the game” might not be the best phrase. I have never subscribed to PUA, because it reminds me of those late night infomercials. A better analogy is that you can only do the same dance so many times before it gets old.
Still would love hear your perspective on how women can make it better for men in these situations!
I will tell you, women get just as disheartened by the rudeness, assumptions, shallowness, etc, in the dating scene as men. Over all. I think best antidote is for EVERYONE regardless of gender to try and be kinder, try and understand the other’s perspective more, and try stop being so defensive to other people’s points of view when the differ from our own.
I have been around the block more than a few times and I still don’t have any easy answers. Wish I did. I would recommend reading Men On Strike by Helen Smith as to why men are dropping out of relationships and marriage. Expecting things from other people almost always leads to disappointment. Letting go of expectations is the hardest thing.
There are plenty of articles directed at women and their behaviors. This one is directed at men.
Huge turnoff – being rude to service people like servers, taxi drivers, etc. It just says so much about a person’s character in so few words when this happens.
http://www.mensanity.com
Agree with No Man above me. Being courteous to service people is just good manners and reflects that you are generally a respectful and tactful person. Being rude, starting a fuss, threatening or arguing with customer service people is an ugly behavior. I also want to say that even though these are general “Worst Practices,” there will always been exceptions to the rules, as alluded to about cockiness. Because yes, some women eat that up, even ones who you’d assume are past that “phase.” I think it’s safe to say that most women go through that phase, and many women… Read more »
Another pretty common one:
Rudeness to employees: stiffing the wait staff, treating the bartender like your slave, arguing with a bouncer, making fun of the hostess, etc. Being an obnoxious customer seems to be a pretty big turn-off for a lot of women, especially if the woman works in customer service herself. Tipping well is no guarantee of dating success, but stiffing is definitely self-destructive.
I’d like to add:
11. Visiting websites with names like “The Player Guide” that promise to teach men “direct (and fruitful) methods of seducing and sleeping with women fast and efficiently.” Can’t think of a bigger turnoff, frankly.
Come on! It’s not like you know which websites a man you have met 5 seconds ago usually reads, and neither does he know whether you read Cosmo or The Rules.
If his acts betray in a clumsy way that he is trying to seduce you fast and efficiently, it is a different pair of shoes.
I find this, slipped in under point 4, disconcerting.
“This will likely make her feel like crap”
Huh?
Passive aggressive much? Why must you make her feel like crap? Does every woman who doesn’t happen to want to flirt back with you deserve to feel like crap?
I noticed it as well. I don’t quite understand what the reason for that sentence was, unless it meant to say, “This will make her regret having shot you down.” Because, you know, you showed to be a man she would have enjoyed spending time with. Anyway, it’s a moot point. That scenario applies only when she has already been turned off. But it is a very good way to preserve dignity. I’m not saying you will feel good about having been rejected, but on the next day you will feel like it was the right way to act, and… Read more »
Women beng made to feel bad for turning someone down is part of the problem. No one should be made to feel bad for having a preference or for being uninterested. The only women who would feel guilty would be those who were rude about it or who were trying to play “hard to get” and it backfired. Women will more likely feel RELEIF, not guilt, at such a respectful acceptance of declining the offer. Most women are already preparing for the consequenses of daring to say no to a man. They’re emotionally preparing themselves to be called a slut,… Read more »
A better way to preserve your dignity is not to beg for attention.