Greg Simms on what it’s like to be too old to rock and roll but too young to die.
I’m 40. And I’ve recently discovered something very funny. Well, I’ve realized something that’s very funny.
I can start to do something “young”, but I end up doing something “old.” I may try to listen to the new Pusha T album (which is HOT, by the way) on Spotify, but I end up switching to Charlie Wilson. I consider purchasing skinny jeans, but then I’ll go and buy the relaxed instead. See what I mean?
If you don’t, or, you do and you’re laughing along with me…or at me, below is a list of sorts that I’ve titled “ What I WANT To Do, What I WILL Do.” Read it, and , if you’re in your 40s, see if you can relate to in this list. If you aren’t in your 40’s, just know that this is what you’re life is going to look like when you hit this age group.
♦◊♦
I WANT to turn on my car radio, and listen to my local hip hop station, and bob my head while I’m on my way to work.
I WILL listen to a song and a half on this station, curse out loud at the 20-somethings who currently rule the airwaves, and then switch to a sports radio station (and curse at them).
I WANT to dress according to my urban, hip-hop influenced mood, and wear my pants a little looser than normal, and rock a t-shirt and earrings to work.
I WILL look in the mirror, notice the gray in my goatee, the slightly bulbous belly I have, and the pile of bills on my dresser, and throw on a sweater and some slacks.
I WANT to dance like I did in my 20s and 30s at a party—like Bobby and Chris Brown.
I WILL attempt a pelvic thrust, stop midway when I feel a disc start to rupture, and a torrent of shame come over me, due to the visual of a 40-something man attempting to dance like a member of One Direction.
I WANT to turn on the television and attempt to watch the latest, hottest, scandalous reality show of the moment. The one that’s killing in the 18-45 year old demographic.
I WILL watch five minutes of that show, and quickly turn to the History Channel. Or Biography. Or the Travel Channel. And not move off the couch for hours. Watching documentaries about someone who died 500 years ago and invented a thing.
♦◊♦
Funny list? A list that hits too close to home for some of you? Maybe it’s my offbeat sense of humor, but my first year of my 40s has been…funny. It’s a weird age. I’m not the cute, young guy any longer. But, I’m not an old lion either. I can’t quite lock down what exactly my identity should be at this age.
But to me, it’s a hilarious age group to be in.
– modified photo Anthony Easton / Flickr Creative Commons
Nice to see someone expressing this 🙂 My thoughts about this time-of-life lately crystallized into the Facebook post I’d like to post but won’t because a) I don’t hang out with that many 20-somethings and b) I just don’t want to deal with the slew of comments it might generate if it’s taken the wrong way – “To all you folks in your 20’s out there, when you see those of us in our 40’s, remember that you’re looking at someone in their 20’s just like you, who is still stunned to find that they’re in their 40’s. Be kind.… Read more »