For one man, watching his home slowly slip out of his hands isn’t a pleasant experience.
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In moving through the eviction process, I’ve pondered whether I would be The Riddler or The Joker if this was part of a Batman movie.
Frank Gorshin’s Riddler? Heath Ledger’s Joker? Either a shriekingly-loud laugh or hauntingly-wild smirk might work.
This opera has reached its high-octave note as I’m either now out of a home or still in a home that I really did NOT want to leave. I mean … it has enough space to create and grow within for many years. It is such a lovely place, yet I am facing the real possibility of letting it go.
Damn it.
In last week’s episode (cue up that “Law and Order” music, please), I had received the eviction summons and a court date was pending. I did show up to court and, thankfully, did not have to go in front of a judge.
Yet I reached an agreement to pay all of the back rent by May 31. I ended up with a portion of what I needed for the total. It was not enough as I’m writing this column. Call me foolish yet I do believe in miracles, so who knows?
This is ridiculous, and the biggest joker in this situation is me.
♦◊♦
The Beatles’ “Let It Be” has been played a lot over the past week in my world. It has helped. Yes, it is comforting to hear those opening lines:
“When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”
Part of me wants to say, “Um, Sir Paul, you do know what is going on in my life right now?” Yet I know that really is the voice of fear, the one that wants me to turn shallow, pale as a ghost and run like hell from this self-made carnage.
I can honestly say that I’ve learned a whole lot more about faith and trust. Talking about faith makes some people queasy, like a bad burrito. Trust can be just as tricky, too. So I’ll just ignore the topics altogether.
After all, why have a conversation about those hot topics when it would be more fun to see what celebrity has fallen into his or her latest tale of woe!
These issues of mine pale – really pale – in comparison to so many other problems people are facing in their lives. Many of my friends in Texas are dealing with floodwaters through the Hill Country area and Houston, and my heart goes out to them.
I’m grateful that I have a healthy body, friends, my future prospects for financial health look bright, and I know inside myself that I have the ability to rebound from this setback.
Do I whine like a baby or face this like a man?
Hey, isn’t that what I am supposed to do? “Just face it like a man.” Hmm, I hear the pedantic sounds of a golf fan clapping.
♦◊♦
As best as possible, I’m taking the view that everything is going to work out just fine. It might not be in the way that I want it to look, yet it’ll be the best way for my own life.
There are moments here and there where I look back over nearly two years and think, “I should have never left Texas.” Then where would the adventure of life take me? Who knows! You wouldn’t get to see me go through these wild-and-woolly situations.
Aren’t you just giddy with joy at seeing a man lose his home?
No, I don’t think so.
Maybe you are wagging your finger at me and going “You should have known better and done more to make sure you paid rent on time.”
Maybe some of you reading this can empathize with this whole scene.
So many things are running through my mind while writing this piece.
I’m doing my best to stay positive and uplifting because beating myself up never does any good.
When recording my podcast, I like to close with the words “Every minute counts … and you are loved.”
It probably would do me some good to let that ring truer in my heart right now.
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Photo: Getty Images