The Good Men Project started with the goal of empathy. Empathy for other men. Tom Matlack hopes that today’s feminists can understand that.
♦◊♦
So if you happened onto my blog, twitter stream, or anywhere near my person over the last few days you will know I experienced a lot of “Feminists Responding With Reasonable Arguments and Insights.” That’s what Amanda Marcotte so helpfully described the cascade of criticism I took for objecting to Hugo’s piece about women being justified in seeing all men as rapists, until proven otherwise, and my blog about how being a dude is a good thing.
Truly, I haven’t felt this popular since criticizing Esquire for objectifying women in their Women We Love Section — a post (“Cleavage or Soul?”) which for a time won me the honor of being the “Mangina of the Month” among Men’s Rights Activists (MRA for the un-initiated, who wrote about me here). That time, I took my clothes off and put a picture up of myself with make-up (“Have You Seen My Mangina?”) to admit to my obvious deficiencies.
Having experienced the pain of attack from both the most active men’s and now women’s groups, I have to admit to seeing both sides of this gender divide as fundamentally wrong in their view of manhood in all it’s many shapes and colors.
♦◊♦
My original goal in founding The Good Men Project with my business partner James Houghton was to give voice to first-person stories by men about their attempt to be good fathers, husbands, sons, workers and men. And we did just that — publishing stories from men inside Sing Sing to men on the battlegrounds of the war in Iraq, stories that range from a dad who lost his child to men going through sex change, men dealing with divorce and men dealing with unemployment.
I, personally, have been moved and inspired.
We’ve also tried to “spark a national conversation about what it means to be a good man.” That’s worked really well in the boys’ schools I’ve visited, in the inner city and on leafy campuses in the suburbs. It’s worked in prisons. It’s worked in churches and synagogues. It’s even worked in open readings where we had as many women as men, if not more.
But somehow my attempt to look at how manhood has played out in those people and places I know–particularly as related to our relationship to women–has caused those who call themselves modern feminists great discomfort as they see my points as somehow trying to identify a binary or “essential” gender structure. That’s not what I believe or aspire to. Quite the opposite. The variety of first person stories on our site shows, if nothing else, that I value the unique experience that every man has in negotiating his own maleness. And when asked to pin down what it means to be a “good” man I have said over and over again that it is not an abstract concept. It has to be lived and self-defined. Our only goal has been to provide a platform to tell stories of men grappling with that aspiration and to allow open discussion about what it means to be a man.
So I come back to this basic disconnect that is filling my inbox and causing random men and women identifying themselves as “feminists” to contact me just to let me know:
To me, a key question in unpacking how and why this has happened goes to the meaning of the word “feminism.”
♦◊♦
I was raised in a family where social justice was (and continues to be) the highest and most important calling in life. My parents were in Mississippi the summer of 1964, they marched for Civil Rights, my dad was imprisoned for protesting the Vietnam War on many occasions. When I was eight, I went to prison with him.
From the first grade on, I grew up in what my parents prefer I call a “communal living situation,” as opposed to an all-out commune. I was in first grade in 1970. My parent’s focus had shifted — from Civil Rights and the Anti-War Movement, to women’s liberation. My mom went back to school to get her PhD. Our communal living situation included a lot of graduate students, many of whom happened to be lesbians.
My grade school dinner table was a place where we talked about women’s rights, about the ERA, about what feminism meant.
I say all this not to somehow set myself up as an expert or morally pure. I am neither. I am capable of racism, war mongering, and sexism. No doubt. But I am not uneducated on what the feminist movement of the 60s, 70s and 80s was all about when many women in this country changed the 1950s stereotype of being a “good wife” into something profoundly different and better for women, and for men.
I recall my mom defending her dissertation and starting to work. And the profound pride she felt and shared with me at being able to pay back her school loans and, when my dad experienced a professional setback, her ability to be the primary earner in our household.
No, I say this because the feminists I am interacting with today seem to have so little in common with the feminists with whom I sat at the dining room table as a kid.
♦◊♦
What’s really strange to me is that female authors are proclaiming the End of Men (meaning in terms of careers, not ironically in terms of their capacity to be good fathers and husbands) at the very same time when the most ardent feminist voices are attacking me, and others men, for our inability to see the continued patriarchy. I don’t agree with either, but you can see my confusion.
I realize that there are issues that impact women much more heavily than men. Issues like sex trafficking, porn, and the glass ceiling, I am 100% on board with speaking up and taking actions to create change. I am fully in support of working hard to prevent rape and pedophilia.
What I don’t understand is the rage directed at me when I try to talk about one man’s perspective, albeit partial and deeply flawed for sure, of male emotion. Even the idea that women, or some women, would prefer men to be more like them than more manly sends the twitter-sphere into orbit. The idea that it’s not okay to treat all men as rapists, despite the preponderance of rape committed by individual men, is wrong. And, when I say that I believe treating every black man as a criminal just because there are one million of them behind bars is just as abhorrent as treating all men as rapists — it brings strangers to my door to call me not only a sexist but racist and deeply offensive.
This isn’t the feminism that I used to know. The feminism around our kitchen table was about equal rights. I agree whole-heartily with men and women having equal access to everything. I don’t agree that men and women are the same. Far from it. And maybe that is the sticking point here.
In my work life I have worked for lots of women. And I have hired lots of women in a field, venture capital, where there are less than they should be. One of my partners was a woman. The person who I work most closely with—who I frankly trust in business now more than anyone else, having started over 30 companies together—is a woman. The CEO of The Good Men Project is a woman.
I wish we had a woman for President (see Germany). I tend to think Hilary would have done a better job than Obama has, though I am still going to vote for him over whatever the Republican circus produces.
My point is that men and women are different, thankfully. And the world would be a better place, in my view, if women had more power rather than less.
That doesn’t mean that I believe in a binary/essential view of gender. I understand that there are as many different kinds of men (and women) as there are men (and women). I am only speaking about my own experience. But I don’t think it’s helpful in a gender discussion to blow up the concept of gender altogether or see it simply as a matter of sexual attraction (whatever your orientation) without being able to at least talk about the emotions, reactions, thought processes that are tied to gender, whatever that means to you.
Maybe I’m the only one who takes this view, that a discussion of manhood is a worthy topic despite its many nuances and my vastly limited view. I could be totally wrong to even bring it up. But does that view deserve the “wrath of the feminists” as I said on twitter? Even then, I was quickly attacked for using such sexist language (they were pretty darn mad at me and they did say they were feminists).
♦◊♦
At the core of the idea that became The Good Men Project was the goal of empathy. It had saved my life to hear other men’s stories and develop empathy for them, to be inspired by them, to love them fully. It’s how I came back from a horrific bottom and slowly rebuilt a life that had been blown to bits.
James and I believed at the start that we, as men, don’t have enough empathy for each other, for our kids and for the women in our lives. We don’t share our stories as readily as we might. And so we thought that the male sharing of experience could be a powerful force for change and good in the world.
We also believed that our very differences as men are what can be the most powerful in this context. We set out to find men who were as different as possible from the two middle-aged white straight finance guys we were. And in our original book and film, that turned out to be the case. It was in our differences as men that the common elements came through the most profoundly. When we saw ourselves not in skin color or wealth or sexual orientation but in heart and soul that we knew we had hit the jackpot.
♦◊♦
I consider myself a feminist. Perhaps it’s a club that doesn’t really want me at this point but the fact remains. One comment on twitter noted that “feminism isn’t static, it’s constantly changing.” Which I suppose is a good thing. And perhaps it’s like “God” in that it is a concept both so broad and so personal that it almost escape a single definition. But I’d like to believe that at the core of feminism is a commitment to empathy—to empathy for women and for human beings in general.
I can understand being angry. Angry about the lack of women in positions of power, angry about women who have been raped, angry about sex trafficking. I’m angry about those things too. But I don’t understand being angry at men at-large, or to criticize those of us who are trying to get really honest in hopes of building a stronger foundation for intimacy and relationships and goodness in the realm of fatherhood and husbandhood.
I am reminded of a particular story that showed up in our film by James’s brother-in-law Kent George. I love what he was willing to share with us, and with our viewers, because it says in a few short minutes more than I ever could about the fact that sometimes being a man is about surviving. And even a white man deserves our profound empathy no matter what our gender, orientation or color.
The problem Mr Matlack has is the same one that feminists and traditionalists have whenever they argue- despite claims to the contrary, both traditionalists and feminists both espouse versions of chauvinistic gender-based values systems. Traditionalism has never been about the oppression of women in a conventional sense – by that I mean that it has never been a master/slave dynamic. However what it has perpetuated in terms of women is a culture of perpetual infantalisation -where women have been traditionally sheltered and given the agency of children. The phrase “women and children to the lifeboats” is a glaring instance of… Read more »
A slight correction to the comment. The link I should have posted regarding minors paying child support to pedophiles was actually this one: http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/legally-obscene/
I was unsure about your site when I first stumbled across it. But after reading this and a couple of other posts, I’m starting to think you get it. Guys no longer want everything to be framed by feminine entitlement. We want to be liberated the way that women were liberated, to have more fulfilling lives. We want to be more connected to other men. And we’re not going to get there by having to filter our thoughts through a feminine perspective. We need our own perspective, our own thoughts, and we need to start living the way we think… Read more »
Tom, I can see that you are trying to be sincere in dealing with this whole debacle. I offer my sincere best wishes to you in gaining some perspective on this. That said, a couple of things: if you want to talk about sex differences, I strongly urge you to check out the empirical literature of the social sciences and the neurosciences from credible peer-reviewed sources (I recommend: Cordelia Fine, Rebecca Jordan-Young [her book is a spectacular critique of the science of sex differences that has been extremely well-received in some of the most prestigious scientific journals — you absolutely… Read more »
“Feminism has gone from a movement that wanted equal rights to a movement that wants to let women do anything without consequence. Casual sex? You were coerced by a man.” Absolutely not. Modern feminists are all about taking control of your sex life and being able to have sex for pleasure if you chose to (and not if you don’t). Casual sex is no one’s ‘fault.’ It’s a consensual give and take between two people that is sometimes great, sometimes ends in heartbreak, and is sometimes altogether forgettable. I take offense at the idea that women must be manipulated in… Read more »
Why do people say “modern feminists are all about x” and yet some people get very angry when others say feminism is about control, this, that, n other negative generalizations? Are good generalizations totally fine to cast on most or all feminists whilst negative ones can’t be right? The more I hear “feminism isn’t a monolith”, the more I am baffled at how many feminists speak of it as such.
Did you mean SOME modern feminists? Is it the majority/all that believe this or just a common belief amongst many?
You know what, you’re right. I can’t speak for all feminists. But the original comment was way off base from what I hear and see on feminist websites and from feminists. The comment also tried to talk about all of feminism being like this. My experiences with it have been the opposite, but I can’t speak for everyone.
I usually find many feminists to be quite open about sex, though some seem quite jaded over the idea of sex, especially if it involves penetration. Like all groups, there are good n bad in feminism and masculism, etc.
My Mom was a feminist. She worked really hard, raised two boys by herself and put herself through college. The thing is, she was a doer. The person she was…I have no doubt whether she was born in 1955, 1905 or 1855…she would have been a doer.
Someone who makes their living today, writing inflammatory, 1-dimensional, link bait…Good for them. But they are nothing like my mother was.
Yep
i’m sorry Tom, this is disappointing. i’m not going to join the ranks and agree/disagree, i’m just going to say that although you have some valid critique, it got lost in a predictable trajectory (the list of comments proof my poin) you see, that’s what i like about TGMP, it always pleasantly surprised me in terms of approach regardless of whether or not i agreed with the content, critique or analysis…it was the approach that was refreshing and unique. an approach that one rarely sees from men responding to patriarchy. this is a hard hole to get out of.
I bite my tongue long enough.
Tom, I love the (what looks like) velvet jacket and your pendant.
Looks cool
“At the core of the idea that became The Good Men Project was the goal of empathy. ”
This is great. Having more empathy for each other is a good idea. However, when you talk about men being pushed to be more like women at work it sounds like you are pushing back against the idea that being empathetic is good. (At least that’s what I thought you meant. Being more specific in future blog posts could help skip the side arguments.)
smhill, i took it as meaning as he said men and women are different , thats not a bad thing and feeling empathy as a man can happen in a different way and thats not a bad thing a man can embrace the good in emotion and still be a man , its about a balance.
I’ll be honest – I am torn. While I grew within the feminist movement during college, I’ve found myself drifting farther and farther away from it to the point where I no longer consider myself a feminist. It seems the movement is more interested in having fun and patting each other on the back in agreement than to actually get things accomplished. What’s more, anyone who disagrees with it is written off as sexist, misogynist, mansplaining or other terms that, rather than helping the discussion, serve as the very silencing mechanisms that its members claim their critics of using. While… Read more »
Anyhow.
I look forward to a real and positive conversation about men and masculinity developing here. I’m relieved that we will no longer have the steady stream of pedalstalising the female perspective and trashing men from a certain individual.
All good things must come to end
I just read Hugo Schwyzer’s resignation letter: http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/2011/12/21/why-i-resigned-from-the-good-men-project/ Even just from that, it was pretty obvious you are in the right here. Bullying is an endemic problem in the “feminist blogosphere”, both in intra-feminist blogosphere and toward those deemed to be “enemies” of feminism. And Amanda Marcotte and Hugo Schwyzer are definitely a nasty little politically-connected clique that has gotten to be way too powerful. You’re going to get a lot of flack for standing up to them, but do the right thing and stick to your guns on this issue. Just because they have large numbers of followers does… Read more »
“The painful thing about all this, of course, is that no man is in any real physical danger on the internet— or even in real life — from feminists.” Andy Warhol beg’s to differ. Man-bashing though doesn’t mean they’re out bashing men physically, they’re doing it figuratively. For someone who is an academic, it’s a bit of a failure. He then adds this gem “Women are regularly beaten and raped — even on college campuses — but I know of no instance where a man found himself a victim of violence for making a sexist remark in a feminist setting!… Read more »
Thats very well said. I really feel sorry for that kid in his class who tried to point out how aggressive they were being.
Obviously Hugo didn’t want to listen to it, their anger was justified because the men had oppressed them! Criticism doesn’t seem to be well taken at all, even if there is a genuine concern and then to have it proven by his own bias just takes the cake really. Luckily I’ve known feminists who don’t automatically assume man = bad, and they can even see where men get treated bad. Only way to move forward is to help each other, and by help each other I don’t mean having many feminist articles telling men to do more to help whilst… Read more »
Finally someone says it. Feminism has gone from a movement that wanted equal rights to a movement that wants to let women do anything without consequence. Casual sex? You were coerced by a man. Father’s rights? Haha, like men know anything about children. Rape accusation? The man might as well put his head between his legs and kiss his ass goodbye because if a women accuses him, he must be guilty. Basically, the main idea is this: Women’s problems are caused by men. However, men’s problems are not caused by women, rather they are also caused by men. Therefore men… Read more »
Great pic doode. I love this talk about empathy, especially when I find the occasional sentence among a long list of women’s issues. Have you ever wondered why this site is far more popular with women rather than men? It’s so hard to find writers who have any empathy for men, except in the context of their service to women. http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35jnmf/
The missing language is the missing link. F%@#$% feminism. Humanism is the deal if we are to move forward. Men have a shitty deal. The male roles sucks eggs. Always be the first, fastest, biggest, strongest, know the most, do the most, provide and set aside your inculturation; the propensity to dominate in your primary relationship, defer to the woman. Please her. Protect her. Name that dirty job—it’s probably yours. I get it. And Women have a shitty deal as well. Mirror mirror on the F^%$%^& wall who is the singing underwear belly button dancer dujour I am supposed to… Read more »
I have no issue with women and men having equal power, just remember the responsibility and negatives that come with such a highly competitive thing as power. The rate of female death and injury will increase, women will be expected to fight frontline and toe to toe with the enemy. I don’t think humans will ever give up power and domination though, even with unlimited resources someone will always want more and try to fight for it. Competing for limited resources though atm is a big battle so we probably need a major drive in science to get the technology… Read more »
Ahh , girls , escape when its just getting interesting? How dare men criticise feminism and disrupt the self flagellating consensus on “new masculinity” (= emasculation)? Surely debate is what its all about?
I only ever came to this site because Hugo Schywzer’s participation gave it a credibility that other attempts to create a new masculinity lacked. My previous experience had led me to believe that it was virtually always a veiled flailing against the perceived loss of power that a feminist society implies. Now, after having watched this site for a while, I think I can drop the “virtually” from that assessment.
Nick , you and Hugo should get together, sounds like your are made for each other. Hugo give “credibility that other attempts to create a new masculinity lacked ” Bullshit, each man defines his own masculinity and those at the extreme of wanting to as much like women as possible ( yourself and Hugo) have little in common with and nothing to offer the ordinary male majority. I avoided this site for exactly that reason, extremist feminist ideologues like Hugo. “veiled flailing against the perceived loss of power that a feminist society implies” It’s not anything to do with power,… Read more »
“I only ever came to this site because Hugo Schywzer’s participation gave it a credibility that other attempts to create a new masculinity lacked. My previous experience had led me to believe that it was virtually always a veiled flailing against the perceived loss of power that a feminist society implies. Now, after having watched this site for a while, I think I can drop the “virtually” from that assessment.” The idea Hugo Schywzer adds credibility or authority is a bit much. The idea that Tom Matlack created this site to attack feminism about his percieved loss that feminist society… Read more »
This might be the ugliest series of comments I’ve seen on a “legitimate” website (as opposed to an anonymous message board). Mr. Matlack, this lengthy and martyr-esque rationalization of your hateful remarks during the Twitter brawl rings hollow. I don’t understand how anyone could consider this an apology. If that was your intention, you might have saved time and posted something much shorter and, well, apologetic. Something like, “The Twitter argument became contentious and I made some ill-advised remarks in the heat of the moment. I remain committed to the GMP and hope this aberration won’t derail our goals.” Instead,… Read more »
I am not sure why you think he was apologizing.
Hi Tom. I am new to your site, but I very much like and appreciate it. I don’t agree with everything I have read, and I like that, too. I guess I missed all the excitement over this topic, which I would have anyway since I don’t Tweet and all that. I debated on jumping into this shark tank of a topic, but what the heck. I consider myself a feminist. I believe in women having equal rights as men, as well as equal responsibilities. In my judgement, that means in order to have the perceived priviledges of men, that… Read more »
I bet a feminist could tell us all why gay male porn victimises women (and how it’s all men’s fault that it does). That’s why I defined feminism to be the belief that “women are universal victims and its all men’s fault”.
“I bet a feminist could tell us all why gay male porn victimises women (and how it’s all men’s fault that it does). That’s why I defined feminism to be the belief that “women are universal victims and its all men’s fault”.”
I think that is way too harsh.I am sure a few feminists would behave as your first sentence suggests but to say the entirety of feminism is like that is over the top. And as such your definition is exaggeration. And its not helping.
Leta , Id say im a middle of the road MRA, first to contextualise my view i have to disclose my history , I grew up in a single parent household ( have heard a few different storys as to why , i know what i belive but i dont say because i dont have definitive fact ) and my mother was a died in the wool radical feminist , my sister who i have only recently reconnected with still has a box with her reading material including the scum manifesto etc, I was brought up to belive that as… Read more »
Thanks for this Scott, the reality is that there is an increasing number of men who have been harmed and damaged directly by feminism as in you case or indirectly as in my case ( False DV accusations, and abuse of the feminist corrupted family court system to attempt to alienate me from my children) Before I was bitten by the consequences of feminist governance, I couldn’t have given a hoot about “gender relations” , I thought everything was rosy. As a practicing family physician and medical education I organised one of the first education programs for medico in my… Read more »
I agree with questioning feminism completely. But things have to be measured and precise there is a saying about giving someone enough rope. If you want to challenge something and you know they will never be convinced by you argument no matter how much truth there is its best to be completely reasonable and rational so a 3rd party won’t just see “crazy MRA vs those feminist heroes” but will see a reasoned argument vs an unreasoned response.
Leta, the problem is , when someone questions feminism, feminists want to control the way thats done to allow them to deflect from issues and any that couldnt be deflect are met by accusations of being a bigot , Feminists wont let me discuss my perceptions or feelings and that is the reason why i cannot see it as something that is good any more, thats not to say all feminists are bad , they are just claiming a name that represents something different to what they want , until discourse can happen fairly and men can voice there feelings… Read more »
Well said. Modern American feminists are the Al-Qaeda of feminism. All the other ones have recognized that women are equal and have turned their attention to the 3rd world, where they are not equal.
Part of the problem is that because we’re in a culture where it is less acceptable to be seen as openly sexist, patriarchal attacks against feminist expressions can’t be as blatant as they used to be. So anytime you make any sort of criticism of feminists, you run that risk of being branded a sexist, not because feminists think men are evil, but because evil men are sneaky, and it’s not always easy to tell which is which until he’s forced you into the alleyway or taken away your rights. Feminism has changed because society has changed, and feminism needs… Read more »
“Feminism has changed because society has changed, and feminism needs to respond to that.”
Feminism has changed (and continues to change) because it cannot stick to a consistent set of rules, principles, goalposts, etc.
If feminism sticks to a consistent set of rules for too long, the other side invariably catches up and starts WINNING. So, it becomes necessary to shift the rules, the goalposts, etc…. in order to stay ahead of the game and forestall feminism’s ultimate decline into extinction.
With regard to “feminism’s ultimate decline into extinction,” I actually listened to one of your YouTube rants, fidelbogen. My favourite part of the one I heard was where you said rapturously, “Can you imagine a world without feminism?” I can, actually. Afghanistan comes to mind right away.
Sorry, are you making the case that your YouTube video actually WASN’T “a speech conducted with some passion, tending toward a conclusion one strongly disagrees with?” Have you listened to your own video, fidelbogen? It is, in fact, a rant, by the definition you listed above. In the case, “rant” wasn’t intended as an insult, but rather a descriptive–using the very description you just provided.
And again, a world without feminism: Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Iran, Iraq. Egypt, especially as seen tonight on the news with women being beaten in the street with sticks for daring to protest.
” women being beaten in the street with sticks for daring to protest.” and of course no man has even been beaten or dragged away or imprisoned or murdered for political protest? certainly not in the middle east in recent times!!! Get real Mikey, even better get equal. If you are concerned about political oppression be concerned for all the victims, most of whom are men. Pointing this incident out is typical of the obsession with “violence against women” when the majority of victims of violence, men are ignored, no need to offer concern or help to them, they are… Read more »
Actually, Rper1959, we weren’t talking about political oppression in the middle east, we were talking about fidelbogen’s proposition of “a world without feminism.” Please try to keep up, and try to focus. The reference to the women being beaten with sticks in the streets of Egypt was specific to yesterday, in Cairo. You know–out there in the real world beyond your obsession with “radical feminists” and their dark designs for “female supremacy.” And the women in Cairo yesterday weren’t beaten merely for political protest, they were beaten because they were women daring to be part of a political protest. Which… Read more »
And for the record, while men are frequently beaten or dragged away or imprisoned or murdered, they aren’t beaten or dragged away or imprisoned FOR BEING MEN, unlike women in that part of the world who to whom the above happens BECAUSE THEY ARE WOMEN living in a patriarchal, anti-feminist religion-driven society. What makes you so sure about that? Those in power are going to all they can to hold that power. Let’s say in the warped minds of these dictators and powerful people “man = powerful / woman = powerless”. In their minds any other man is a threat… Read more »
Males are routinely given harsher sentences for the crimes for which females often avoid harsh sentencing. This is especially true in the juvenile justice system in the US. More than race, more than income, the overriding factor driving sentencing severity in criminal cases is gender, with males receiving harsher sentences than women who commit the same crime. Boys are used as slaves and child soldiers to a much greater extent than girls throughout the world, especially in the Third World countries. I realize it’s not de rigeur to give consideration to “the disposable gender”, but you might want to look… Read more »
You are going to excuse me but I totally disagree with you. Egypt is a military regime and if you haven’t noticed Ghada Kamal (the woman whose being beaten started this whole thing) was a political activist against the regime. I don’t know if you have realized that in a military regime if you are against it you are going to be beaten up. Ghada didn’t get beaten up for being a women, she got beaten up FOR DEMANDING THE END OF THE REGIME. That would have happened to anyone male or female in a military regime. The women beaten… Read more »
All right, so you disagreed with my carefully written SPEECH, and called it a “rant”, because the tenor of it disturbed you. If the tenor of it had *not* disturbed you, then you would have just called it a speech.
Got it.
“Egypt, especially as seen tonight on the news with women being beaten in the street with sticks for daring to protest.”
And the men are being spared?
Indeed , “That’s easy. It would be a world in which women are held morally accountable. Strictly and consistently.” and might I add, “equally to men”
easy Hey Mike!
Actually Afghanistan has a very similar view of gender to Western feminists in many ways. Feminism is a very conservative movement and has a lot in common with traditional views of gender.
Dancer says:
“Feminism has also adapted to the concerns of women in the developing world, ethnic minorities and of women of faith.”
How is that last part possible considering most women’s (and mens for that matter) teaches abortion is wrong.
I have seen very little drive for feminists to be inclusive of pro-life women.
2nd sentence should have been:
Considering most women’s (and men’s for that matter) FAITH teaches abortion is wrong.
http://just-smith.tumblr.com/post/14535841786/we-cant-end-heterosexism-or-cissexism-without-ending
This is the stuff that gmp should publish.
Agree! Just read it. Do you know how to contact him leta? There’s no contact on his Tumblr page.
Feminism According to our text there are three waves of feminism with us being in the third wave right now that’s called contemporary feminism. The first wave although it had many dimensions much like other eras is mostly known for the suffrage movement (the right for women to vote)(12). The second wave took place in the 60s and was mostly known for equal rights in the work force(18). Today feminism will hopefully be known for quite a bit more than the previous waves. Contemporary feminism like previous waves have many different perspectives and goals for the movement. Our text uses… Read more »
The problem with this long-winded, chattering, boilerplate explanation of “feminism”, is that is leaves NON-feminism totally out of the picture. It is dripping with ‘feminist subjectivism’, and fails to make terms with non-feminism as an existential Other.
How does it leave “non-feminism out of the picture?” There are many people who don’t identify as feminist, but neither do they rant on and on about “feminist agendas” and “feminist plots” and “female supremacy?” Or do you think not identifying as feminist is the same thing as being actively antifeminist, as you are? Seriously, don’t you find it ironic how your position is the mirror image of the positions expressed on radfem hub, except with the pronouns reversed? I
Do not mix the personal with the political. Your derail attempt will not work here.
They’re two fairly simple question, fidelbogen, especially the last one, about how your position, and the position of other radical MRAs, is identical to the position of the radfems, except with the pronouns reversed. Ironic? Or not?
If you really wanted to be “left alone by feminism,” you probably wouldn’t run a blog about it and make YouTube videos about it. Or argue about it on the GMP until 5:00 a.m. (EST)
“And I don’t say “jackwipe” about somebody who believes men have rights. I say “jackwipe” about someone who misrepresents Tom’s clearly stated position in his essay in order to make a pathetic, slimy, MRA-style slur about him “begging forgiveness of radical feminists” when he’s done nothing of the sort.
You don’t need to be a feminist to see that. All you need to do is be able to read.”
I agree with you there.
Mikey , you flatter yourself if you believe that one would miss out on their beauty sleep to continue a dialogue with yourself. There is world outside where ever you happen to be situated, and perhaps you have heard of time zones. So in GMT + 10, I am posting yesterday evening in NY. Get it?
What would be cooler is if you were a woman who resisted feminist sexism (gender rebel)
Just believe in equality. Make your own name up for it.
“Egalitarianism” is accurate, but a bit clunky. “Humanism” usually works.
A believer in equality should emphatically NOT be assumed to be feminist as well. Indeed, many egalitarians would find that assumption insulting.
@Matlack “What I don’t understand is the rage directed at me when I try to talk about one man’s perspective”
Welcome to the real world Thomas , your are male therefore you are the enemy , you are the epitome of the patriarchy and you are the object of hate not just rage , courtesy of the worlds largest, best organised, government and elite funded hate movement – modern feminism.
Welcome to the light side!