The Feminist I Used to Know

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About Tom Matlack

Tom Matlack is the co-founder of The Good Men Project. He has a 18-year-old daughter and 16- and 7-year-old sons. His wife, Elena, is the love of his life. Follow him on Twitter @TMatlack.


  1. How do I escape from this mess? If I wanted this much vitriol in my life over male/female issues, I could just call up one of my old bad boyfriends. ZZZZZZEEEEEZh not one new idea, perspective or attitude. Save the planet, save the wales, get water to those poor thirsty bastards in Africa but don’t even bother to make a conscious effort to get along with your natural partners in life…the other gender.
    PLEASE, how do I get OUT OF THIS LOOP? I don’t want this stuff blowing up my inbox over Christmas…

  2. Take yourself out of it. It’s not worth it. Save your sanity and your faith in the world. Stop reading the comments here. I’m done, I’m gone. There is so much hate and so much insanity. I found myself in despair reading all of this stuff. Seriously, Maureen, realize you can’t make a difference to a lot of these men. You have two X chromosomes. Unless you spout for them exactly the dogma they unilaterally believe in, they attack you. There is nothing but disgusting gender-bashing here. It used to be a place for intelligent dialogue. It’s been hijacked by the fringe, and everyone else stays out of the fray, leaving a decaying dialogue. Look me up. Email me. Get out of the loop. I just officially did so. They won. They chased me away. There was nothing worth fighting for when all that was left was the fighting. It’s the same boring propaganda. Just take yourself out. You can do it. I was never going to post again, but I will post if I get an email notification of a comment like yours and say, get out. Leave them to slit *each other’s* throats.

  3. Not trying to antagonize here, But I think you’ve just experienced the very thing many men feel when they visit feminist blogs/sites.

    I as a man truly wish they’d not attack feminism as a monolith, I agree there have been some terrible things some feminists have done but most of the failures I’ve seen about feminism have been due to either lack of futuresight or unintended consequences. Eg, with DV and the laws the studies were biased and set out to identify female victims as opposed to all victims, society had believed only women were abused so they had to bring in laws to try prevent this but sadly did it in a genderspecific nature (rape laws are like this too). So either male dv was insignificantly small, or just totally unknown, and being as feminism is for female equal rights and not just broad equalism it wasn’t really setup to cater for both men and women. Not the fault of feminism, but the fault of all of society as a whole.

    The other problem is assuming the radfems = all feminists, it’s the very same thing I see on feminist-spheres where they assume the hateful and angry MRA’s = all masculists. I prefer to be in an equalism-sphere, I want likeminded individuals that can identify the negatives both women AND men face and figure out how best to go forward, I’ve seen a few posters on the GMP that have this view and I’ve seen even the changes some who believed in harmful attitudes towards men or women would try and change for the better. It’s just a pity this article is a major drawcard for everyone that has a hatred for feminism, I can understand the dislike of it after sensing quite a lack of empathy by many feminists but I also remind myself that there are some great and very awesome feminists who I’ve seen do major attempts to wipe out misandry (such as a few people on slutwalk who rallied against the tv show “The Talk” for it’s male mutilation laughter).

    I suggest reading the other articles, ones that aren’t specific about feminism, as this one is a battlefield of people who are angry at each other. It’s tempting to make a battlefield 3 server, Radfems vs MRA’s (feminist-negative version, not the good masculists) so they can duke it out and the rest of us can try debate peacefully.

  4. The problem with not talking feminism on as a monolith is that it is really a monolith.

    Take anything that’s problematic about feminism, you mentioned lying about abuse data, take that as an example, and you will find nearly universal support for it among feminists.

    Another example see Hugo, despite the fact that he is a denier, minimizer and apologist for female abusers, pedophiles and rapists and sees all men as collectively guilty, he is being treated like a hero by feminism over on his blog …

  5. It is kinda scary how many followers he has, and I don’t think I’ve seen many call him out on the bias either.


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