The First Date Deal Breaker Files Part Four: Pig Sty


You’re on

a first date.

It is going AMAZINGLY well. Not only do you find them extremely attractive and charming, but you have a lot in common and the conversation flows without a pause or awkward moment. They make you laugh and they treat the server well, which is always a good sign. They are flirtatious without being too direct or obvious and it is clear that what you are feeling is definitely mutual.

You escort them back to their home and it becomes obvious that neither of you want the evening to end, so they invite you in for a coffee. You agree and walk through their door and into their living room. And you cannot see the floor because of all the trash and garbage.

“I’m not what you would call a neat freak,” they laugh as you step on something that makes a distinct SQUISH. And they’re not kidding, because you can see mold growing on plates of half-eaten food that have been left on the coffee table. Then you smell something and ask if they have a cat. “I used to,” they answer, “but I haven’t seen him around in the last few weeks. Now wait here and get comfortable. I’ll go get that coffee. I’d take you into the kitchen with me, but it’s a real mess.”

Do you stay

for the coffee?


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About Allan Mott

Allan Mott was once accused of being a narcissistic goth lesbian by a disgruntled Amazon reviewer. That pretty much sums up his writing career (which includes 12 and 1/2 books and frequent contributions to such sites as XOJane, XOJaneUK, Canuxploitation, Bookgasm and Flick Attack,). His most personal writing can be found at, where he uses the subject of B-Movies to mostly talk about boobs and stuff. Tweet him on the Twitter at @HouseofGlib.

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