Good Men Can Be Their Own Worst Enemies

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About Kenny Bodanis

Kenny Bodanis is the author of the parenting book "Men Get Pregnant, Too (despite never pushing a watermelon through a pigeonhole)" . He is a parenting columnist and blogger at Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google +


  1. I am somewhat tired of articles of this nature, I may be an odd ball, but I don’t go around blaming others for my problems. I take responsibility for my actions, I strive to be better. Can I (we) read a celebration of that? All my life people have been pointing out the faults, just once can we honor good things? Just once?

    • Agree so much!!! Please GMP, stop publishing article about “bad jerk” nice guys anymore.

      Nice guys syndrome, the appeal of bad boys. Please, just please. I rarely open this site anymore. No quality articles published last few weeks ( except Alyssa Royse article ) . Only same and same relationship advice article about how nice guys are jerk and asshole and misogynist ( hello Dr NerdLove and Ozz )

      I’m tired of all these article.

    • Hi Wally,

      Ironically, being the author of this article, I don’t disagree with you. I also think we spend a lot of time analyzing ourselves and finding labels and shelving ourselves according to categories.
      I don’t this think article blames anyone else for anything. I wrote this after reading A LOT of articles about ‘qualities which make up a bad guy’. My point was, although we may pat ourselves on the back for not being homophobes, or brutes, it is still difficult to find a fellow ‘guy’ with whom you can have a completely honest conversation about everyday troubles.
      As for the rest of the posts you read here. that is largely the mandate of this site: searching for ways to celebrate what makes a “Good Man” and prodding discussions about areas we can improve ourselves.
      As for lighter fare, focusing on the positive, there is a lot of it out there, on this site, and on my own blog:) Maybe you and I should go for coffee?

  2. Hi Kenny,

    I agree with you, it is very hard to find to find anyone, let alone another male to share issues with, whether they be challenges or joys. Can’t tell you how many male clubs, talking circles, retreats I have gone on, yet it’s obvious that there really isn’t allot of listening going on anymore. I am in my 50′s, in my entire adult life I can honestly say I’ve had one, maybe two, conversations with other men where sharing and an honest exchange of ideas took place.

    I have compensated for that by constantly examining my life and how I look at things. I DO treat women and men with respect. I DO treat folks in cultures outside of my own with respect and honor their ways. I do my best to help people and celebrate their victories. I am well aware I am not perfect, I am we’ll aware I need to improve in areas.

    This all said and done, the I run across an article like yours and basically I need to examine my motivations more. Geez, please, can we celebrate the good? Sorry if this is coming across harsh, but I hear all the time how men don’t listen, we just are empty lugs that our single goal is to watch sports.

    There are lots of guys, men, out there that aren’t like that. They cry when they are denied there visitation rights, pay their child support, plan out romantic “dates” with the woman that they share their lives with. They (we?) need to hear from other men that hell yeah! Your doing ok.

    Rant over. Sure lets go for coffee…. I know this great place in Oak Park….

  3. I liked the article! Thank you for writing it. I love this website. It helps me understand how men think.
    I think if people don’t want to read any more of these articles, then just don’t read them? :)
    Some people are just more introspective and self-analytical. This doesn’t mean anyone is “blaming” or “criticizing”. I think this article resonates with many people. If it doesn’t with you, move on to the next article :)

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