Lost in Translation

Irish girls, pub girls, Lolita, young girls flirting with older men, policeman's daughter

Andy Bodle is flattered to receive the attention of a much younger woman—while hoping to avoid being noticed by her powerful father.

New Scientist interviewer: “What do you think about most during the day?”
Stephen Hawking: “Women. They are a complete mystery.”
Interview, January 2012

The driver switched off the engine, turned round and cleared his throat. “We’re here for 15 minutes, so feel free to stretch your legs, use the facilities, or have a smoke. And if you do, could you spot me one?” I shimmied to the front of the bus, handed him a fag, and stepped out into the sunshine. My seven fellow passengers stayed put.

Stopovers are standard on all journeys of over two hours on Bus Eireann. And this one, coming 12 hours into my 15-hour overland trip to the west coast of Ireland, was most welcome.

Under normal circumstances, I’m as anxious as the next man to reach my destination. I’ll always take the direct flight where possible, I’m the first person to tut on a stalled Tube, and I once greeted the news of a person under a train at Mill Hill Broadway with the words, “You cunt.” But just this once, I was determined to take it slow.

Although the main point of the trip was the sitcom, I had two ancillary aims. First, to shed a few pounds, to which end I’d chosen a B&B that was five miles from the nearest shop, so I’d have to walk 10 miles a day just to eat; and second, cold turkey. For one solid month, there would be no computer games – I’d stripped everything but Microsoft Word from my laptop – no booze, and categorically no cocaine.

And on the whole, I stuck to my plan. Every day, I wrote for eight hours; I walked the minimum 10 miles a day for the first two weeks, and when the blisters became too painful, I hired a bike; and I broke my vow of abstinence just twice.

The first time was the Saturday after I arrived, when the joke glands just weren’t secreting. I made the comparatively short three-mile hike through the rain to the nearest pub, and treated myself to two pints of the local cider.

The smoking ban had recently come into force, so I took my cigarette and joined a couple huddled in the porch. They left almost immediately, but were replaced by three girls. They needed a light, so I gave them one, and we started talking.

They were obviously too young for me, but the whole smoking-outside thing was a novelty to us all, and I hadn’t met any locals apart from my landlady since my arrival. Besides, it was only talking.

Two of the girls communicated entirely in giggles, but the third, a lean, dark-haired girl with intense green eyes, was a feisty one. She introduced herself as Riona. She was 18, she was studying medicine at university, and her dad was the local garda. Then she turned the questioning round. “How old are you?” “I’m, um—” “You look 30.” I decided not to shatter her illusions. “What are you doing here?”

I told them about my job at the Guardian, and about the sitcom. Riona was interested, but far from overawed. She made me promise to write the three of them in as the lead character’s pet guinea pigs.

Fun though this was, flirting with someone half my age was a shade outside my comfort zone, so as soon as my cigarette burned down, I bade them goodnight. “Bye,” said Riona with a twinkle. “You’re nice.” I finished my pint, squelched the three miles home, and thought no more of her. Well, maybe a little bit.

The second time I fell off the wagon was two weeks later, on St Patrick’s Day. I’d never been to Ireland before, and it seemed rude not to observe the national holiday in the traditional manner. So I trekked the five miles into Quilty, found myself a window seat in a cosy pub, and watched, somewhat deflated, as a sorry procession of randomly themed floats trundled through the drizzle. Little Bo Peep, plus sheep. Cowboys and Indians. A solitary cow. Shrek?

As the last float disappeared from view, there was a tap on my shoulder. It was Riona. She seemed inordinately pleased to see me. She grabbed my hand and hauled me over to the table where she and her friends were sitting, then asked me how the writing was going, and why I wasn’t bored yet, because she was going out of her mind in this tiny, backward, fun-starved town.

At that moment, more friends appeared and announced that they were moving on. Riona apologised and followed the mob outside. A few seconds later, she bounced back in through the door.

“You’re really nice,” she said. “Not like the boys round here. Give me your phone.”

I looked on helplessly as she snatched my mobile and pressed buttons. As I was trying to work out what she’d done, she grabbed me by the elbows, raised herself on tiptoe, and planted a huge wet smacker on my lips. And with a final, cheeky “See ya!”, she scampered out of sight.

I stood there, frozen, flummoxed, and grinning from ear to ear.

It was all very flattering, but I refused to harbour any indecent thoughts. She was sweet and beautiful and bonkers and she liked me. But she was 18. I was 35. End of story.

The next day, I was woken by a beep on my phone. “Hey! What are you up to today? Have you written about me yet?” Even her texts were exasperatingly energetic.

Even at this stage, my intentions were pure. It was a bit of harmless, ego-boosting fun. Well, maybe we’d meet up, just the once, on my last day. And we’d go for a walk down a sun-dappled country lane, and laugh and point at sheep, and maybe, at the end, if it felt absolutely right, I’d hold her hand.

It was at this point that Bill Murray’s face popped into my head. Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day—that Bill Murray. Only this image was of Murray in Lost in Translation, the film that had come out the year before, about an ageing actor, who, on a business trip to Japan, meets a much younger woman, played by Scarlett Johansson. Despite the age gap, they get on famously, and form a unique bond that lasts until Murray returns home. Nothing happens between them, except for one chaste, tasteful kiss at the end. It’s an intelligent, sweet-natured film, and the relationship never seems in the slightest bit sinister or wrong. Wasn’t this exactly what was going on here? Moreover, this the first time in more than three years that a member of the opposite sex had showed any sort of interest in me. This was a welcome and, arguably, vital boost to my ego.

Sod it, I thought. And I sent a reply.

The next few days brought a flurry of texts, by turns coy and probing, silly and coquettish. “What’s your porn-star name?” “Is yours an innie or an outie?” Riona’s messages became the highlight of my day. And little by little, the cautiousness fell away. “I might be coming to London this summer. Are you central?” “What are you doing? I’m bored.”

Even at this stage, my intentions were pure. It was a bit of harmless, ego-boosting fun. Well, maybe we’d meet up, just the once, on my last day. And we’d go for a walk down a sun-dappled country lane, and laugh and point at sheep, and maybe, at the end, if it felt absolutely right, I’d hold her hand.

But suddenly, just as we stopped beating about the bush, the texts stopped. Had I said something wrong? Or was she recharging her phone?

The next day, my phone beeped again. Funny. Unknown number.

I pressed the “view” button and started to read. And as I read, an icy fist slowly tightened round my guts.

“This is Riona’s dad. I am the local garda. And you appear to be a 30-year-old man exchanging suggestive texts with a 15-year-old girl. I am warning you to stop this immediately.”

A few things in the text jumped out at me: “dad”. “garda”. But most of all, “15”.

FIFTEEN? But she was going to university! And the two times I met her, she was drinking and smoking in a pub! And… oh, fuckety bollocking fuck. How old had I let her think I was? Nearer the age she wanted me to be. And how old did I tell everyone I was when I was 15? Especially when I was drinking and smoking in a pub. The succulent, blustery green of the western Irish spring suddenly turned shit-brown. This wasn’t my Lost in Translation. It was my Lolita. And possibly my Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

My situation did not look good. I had been exchanging flirtatious (but never inappropriate) messages with an underage girl. Her father was the local law enforcement officer in a very isolated and rural part of the world. I was there out of season, alone, with no readily available means of transport, and I was the only tourist for miles. Tracking me down would be like finding a needle in a sewing kit.

My fingers were shaking so much, it took me about half an hour to type my reply. “Sir, I’m so sorry, sir,” I typed. “Riona told me she was 18. Not that I was planning to do anything with her anyway. I promise I will never contact her again. Sir.”

And first thing next morning, just to be on the safe side, I packed my bags, threw away my return bus tickets, and took a taxi to Shannon airport.

I had, at least, gone the best part of a month without coke—and finished the sitcom. I sent it to my friend Cliff, a successful scriptwriter, who said he liked it and recommended me to a producer at the BBC. The producer liked it too, and so did everyone else, up to, but not including, the esteemed gentleman who actually commissions the fucking things.

SCIENCE

Among married couples in the UK, the man is, on average, 2.2 years older than the woman. The male preference for younger women and the female for older men is universal across cultures: the global average is for men to prefer a partner 2.66 years younger, and for women to prefer a partner 3.42 years older.

Men probably developed their taste for youth because a woman’s reproductive life is shorter, and her fertility declines more quickly. Age is a less important consideration for women, since men stay fertile for longer; and since females have historically valued status and the ability to provide resources, and these are qualities that come with time, it is in their interest to go for an older man.

And it seems people have broadly the right idea: an Austrian study has shown that men are likely to have the greatest number of children with a partner who is six years younger, while the most reproductively successful women have a mate four years older.

 

Read more of Andy Bodle’s Womanology studies on The Good Life.

Image credit: Béni Rivière/Flickr

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About Andy Bodle

Andy Bodle is a journalist, scriptwriter and blogger who has written for the Guardian, the Times, the BBC, and ABC. He lives in mortal fear that his greatest achievement will remain winning Channel 4's Countdown in 1993. You can read more on his blog, Womanology, and follow him on Twitter: @_Womanology_.

Comments

  1. Candice says:

    Great story – I love Andy’s Womanology stories. I’m a 30 year old woman. I love the honest male perspective, it’s darn entertaining. xo.

  2. I wish I could be as “raw raw, you’re fabulous for your honesty” as Candice. But then I wouldn’t be being honest about my own opinions on this topic.

    Andy, I’m not sure what you want your readers to take away from this story.

    But as a woman, as me, this is what I’ve take away:

    Young girls make grown adult men feel *proud* for their interest simply because they are young.
    Apparently the greatest worth women hold to men is their ability to be baby-making machines.
    Sympathy should be given to grown adult men that preen and cave into the attentions of young girls.
    As long as a 15 year old says she is 18, it’s okay to still be attracted somewhat to her.

    Biological “facts” should only ever be applied to women and their loosing reproduction system. Meanwhile, there should be no mention of how men begin not being the best bioligical partners after 30 since 30 is when men’s sperm begins to slowly break down. With this in mind, lets not talk about the reality that older fathers contribute to birth defects as much as older mothers because as long as older men seek and have children with younger women, older men are immortal.

    If I sound a little snarky and bitter about this topic it’s because I am a little. And that’s just me being honest myself.

    I am tired of hearing about how much more worth men have biologically. I a tired of hearing older men make justifications and excuses for why they like younger woman. I’m tired of hearing women, young or old, being talked about in terms of their ability to be baby-making machines. Which doesn’t sound so bad when you site “statistics” like you did but is basically wrapped up in the idea that women are simply baby making machines and men choosing and evaluating us as that is perfectly okay and even preferred.

    I can’t force you to feel flattered at the respect and love a grown woman can give you vs the silly and cutesie attentions a 15 year old gave you. All I can say that as a woman in her 30s, it’s disappointing to read over and over and over again. Your story isn’t anything new. It’s a pretty common story a lot of men your age tell.

    We get it. Younger women are better. You don’t need to give us any facts to see that’s how men and society view us women. We live with it everyday. Through commericals that have 20 year olds selling anti-wrinkle commericals and men from 8 to 80 staring at the same age group of women and highlighting how much better they are over women getting older. (How dare us!) *You* biologically last longer in the world. You deserve younger women because of this. It’s only “normal” and “natural”…..
    Except you ignore a couple of big scores. You ignore the complete picture of men’s biology themselves. The fact that while men may have an abundance of sperm for a long time, that they are sperm biologically breaks down every year after 30. Which biologically actually means that men over 30 really aren’t the best biological partners either.

    You also miss out on how our world has been socialized to show older males more respect than older women. You miss out on the part that has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with a society that has a very strong hold and history in developing and holding onto men’s power in society over women.

    If you want to site facts, site all the facts, not the only ones that support what you believe is sound reasoning behind your experience.

    And also, please try to see us women as more than “baby makers’. Whether we are young or old. I doubt you want to be seen as a walking wallet. Women don’t want to be seen as walking wombs. We are people. Even if the world doesn’t always want to treat us women as people and enjoys more treating us as vessels for your sexual desires of youth and perfection.

    Women get old. And I apologize for my kind that we get old because we are obviously not really allowed to while you obviously are.

    • OirishM says:

      If I sound a little snarky and bitter about this topic it’s because I am a little. And that’s just me being honest myself.

      I am tired of hearing about how much more worth men have biologically. I a tired of hearing older men make justifications and excuses for why they like younger woman. I’m tired of hearing women, young or old, being talked about in terms of their ability to be baby-making machines. Which doesn’t sound so bad when you site “statistics” like you did but is basically wrapped up in the idea that women are simply baby making machines and men choosing and evaluating us as that is perfectly okay and even preferred.

      I can’t force you to feel flattered at the respect and love a grown woman can give you vs the silly and cutesie attentions a 15 year old gave you. All I can say that as a woman in her 30s, it’s disappointing to read over and over and over again. Your story isn’t anything new. It’s a pretty common story a lot of men your age tell.

      And we get tired being presented with articles like this:

      http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-danger-in-demonizing-male-sexuality/

      Where we’re told to be things that in our experience women systematically do not value. And when we complain, we’re told to “not take it personally”.

      Maybe you should not take it so personally, Erin?

      I get tired myself of men being repeatedly demonised for having shallow tastes in women when it seems that women are just as shallow. But no, when it comes to women’s tastes, we have to suck it up and deal with it.

      A little reciprocity in that regard from women when it comes to men’s tastes would be nice.

      • Oirish,I’m not really sure why you responded to my postings. Based on your response, it doesn’t appear that you are that interested in what I had to say. Nothing was really acknowledge about anything I shared.

        Perhaps it would be helpful to talk about the article you referenced under that actual article? And discuss the topic here under this article? I don’t want to open a discussion about another article under this one.

        You’re main response was about the things *you* suffer from in response to my comments. If you don’t want to hear me, how can you expect me to want to hear you?

        Does anything I said here negate the idea that women can’t be shallow too? No. All it does is address the topic in *this* article about the tendency men have in prizing youthful women over even their own peers. Frankly, I am tired of men using the “I feel demonized” phrase anytime they are forced to confront something that some women very well may experience negatively from some men.

        Reciprocity would be nice. I agree. I just can’t figure out if that’s really what either of us wants or if both of us are more interested in our own pain than the others. Or perhaps we both feel that we already give “reciprocity” while neither one of us feels like we actually receive it from the other gender. Thoughts to chew on if you ask me.

        • OirishM says:

          You’re main response was about the things *you* suffer from in response to my comments. If you don’t want to hear me, how can you expect me to want to hear you?

          And your post was what? A big list of generalisation about men and how *you* suffer from it. Why is a response in a similar vein a problem?

          Does anything I said here negate the idea that women can’t be shallow too? No. All it does is address the topic in *this* article about the tendency men have in prizing youthful women over even their own peers. Frankly, I am tired of men using the “I feel demonized” phrase anytime they are forced to confront something that some women very well may experience negatively from some men.

          Oh, I never claimed it negated women’s shallowness or that shallowness isn’t necessarily negative. My point is women’s shallowness is frequently given a free pass while male shallowness is criticised relentlessly. It is the inconsistency with which this is done that bothers me.

          And again, your remarks for the most part did not describe the problems as limited to just “some men”.

          Reciprocity would be nice. I agree. I just can’t figure out if that’s really what either of us wants or if both of us are more interested in our own pain than the others. Or perhaps we both feel that we already give “reciprocity” while neither one of us feels like we actually receive it from the other gender. Thoughts to chew on if you ask me.

          That’s the sense I was picking up from your post, so I elected to respond in kind.

          • “And your post was what? A big list of generalisation about men and how *you* suffer from it. Why is a response in a similar vein a problem?”

            Because it doesn’t help either one of us. It doesn’t make me more open to listening to you and it doesn’t help the conversatoin in *this* article.

            Sometimes in these discussions, you have to push aside your own concerns and try to really listen and communicate with others over ourselves. I’ve done it myself on this board. But a general problem I run into is an unwillingnuss for it to be recipocated. As someone that talked about recipcation yourself, I hope you can understand my point.

            Taking the short time to approach or talk about someone else’s concerns, especially when they were the first to respond with them and especially when you purposely make it your purpose to use their post as a response, is what communication and listening is sometimes about. But responding to someone’s post specifically with your own concerns and agenda about yourself doesn’t help anyone. Copying links to other articles that can very well be and have been discussed in that article doesn’t help either.

            This doesn’t mean your concerns should not be addressed. But you can’t expect me to want to talk about your concerns when you respond to mine by basically blowing mine off. And if you don’t really care about my concerns, why respond to my post at all? Why not make your seperate and own individual post?

            Sometimes it’s nice to hear someone else out and actually decide to talk about things that bother them and ignore our own issues for the short time in an attempt to approach theirs. You might not feel like you get that treatment, and neither sometimes do I. But I still try to give.

            “That’s the sense I was picking up from your post, so I elected to respond in kind.I see, so I’m to blame for how you decided to respond.”

            I feel like you have decided to make *me* the reason and excuse for how *you* have decided to respond. And I think that’s really unfair. I think you seem more interested in a spar than you are in real communication. And I am sorry for that. I am not the one responsible for how you have decided to respond. You are responsible for your own words and how you handle a situation. I am not.

            • OirishM says:

              Because it doesn’t help either one of us. It doesn’t make me more open to listening to you and it doesn’t help the conversatoin in *this* article.

              Right. So why did you do it? And why is it only a problem when I do it?

              I feel like you have decided to make *me* the reason and excuse for how *you* have decided to respond. And I think that’s really unfair. I think you seem more interested in a spar than you are in real communication. And I am sorry for that. I am not the one responsible for how you have decided to respond. You are responsible for your own words and how you handle a situation. I am not.

              I made that comment to highlight that you were engaging in the exact same behaviour you were criticising me for. Again, why is it only a problem when I do it?

    • “Women get old. And I apologize for my kind that we get old because we are obviously not really allowed to while you obviously are.”

      There is something that people often seem to forget…IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO.

      Men tend to prefer younger women and date younger women. Your offended. But you completely ignore the corollary … women tend to prefer older men!! And this implies that a lot of younger men are getting ignored and short-changed by women who refuse to date them. I have dates both older and younger women and the older women were far more embarrassed to be seen with me and less likely to even want to continue. The age gap was always a bigger deal for them than it was for me. But with younger women it was always very easy.

      And all of us men were young once and suffered for it. We went through dry periods while girls dated older boys. I actually never remember blaming anyone for this or even thinking it was possible to blame someone. I just accepted it as the reality I lived in.

      Maybe instead of criticizing men for enjoying younger women…you should spend some time criticizing young women for enjoying older men.

      How many 18 year old men would love to have a relationship with a 30 year old woman. I bet a lot of them would. So have at it. Go ahead. Lots of 18 year old men are waiting. Still waiting. What is holding you back?

      • And for the record, and despite my rant earlier – older, younger, I’m fine with either.

        Assman is right, it does take two to tango, maybe if there wasn’t so much of a tendency to demonise males (older males in particular) and recognise the agency of younger women a more balanced of picture of things could be formed.

      • I’m reminded me of a situation I was in a couple years ago. I was roughly about 24 and was vacationing in Maui with my family. One night I went to sit out on the beach by myself and to just enjoy the waves crashing and look at the stars. There was a group of young boys 15-18 who were hanging out nearby. At first they came over and tried to flirt with me. I knew that *I*, being the older and more mature person was responsible for how this situation went down. They were young boys testing the waters. So as they sat down around me and started to flirt and feel me out, I took on a different tone with them and started asking them about their families and love lives. Soon, they dropped the flirting and began talking to me more real and I was giving them advice about how to handle and treat girls and how to avoid being disrespected by girls, into the morning. For the rest of the trip I would see them around with each other or their families and they treated me like a friend. They treated me with respect. I set the tone. I was the one that held the power because I was the mature one and it was my responsbility to set the tone.

        I don’t think this is about older men being demonized. I think this is about older men being expected to hold more responsibility because they are infact the older party. I don’t blame young girls who are testing their way in life. Just like I don’t blame those young boys on the beach for testing theirs and seeing more as an opportunity for sex and flirting before they saw me as a friend and fellow human being. The older you get, the more responsibility you naturally should have. Older men that allow themselves to feel flattered simply because of the age of the girl doesn’t exactly show maturity.

        Unfortunetly, both men and women are socalized to vilfiy women for aging. When you are a young girl, you can’t begin to imagine a time when you will be “old”. You are trying to figure out where you fit in the world. If you are attractive or has what it takes to attract a man. This doesn’t mean a young girl is on the same level as an adult older man. I am sorry. It doesn’t.

        You guys are tired of being demonized? I’m tired of older men looking at any young woman or girl as an oppurtunity for sex more than he is looking for an oppurtunity to mentor a younger person. Young women out there are deprived of adult male figure who truly want to mentor them instead of men that have to fight off lustful thoughts. Think of the influence men could have over women by mentoring young girls and showing them so much more of what men are about vs just the sex?

        Assman, do you know why older women feel more embrassed to be seen with you? Because women are socalized into believing they are worth less as human beings and sexual beings for their age. Especially compared to men who are told they have so much more worth as they get older. Men are given more grace to age than women are. So yeah, I get why older women feel more embarrement. Especially when a lot of older women get the advice that a younger man can’t possibly be serious about her and is only dating her because it’s fun and different at the time. Only to move onto a younger woman a few years down the line.

        Do you know why I don’t date 18 year olds though? Because I’m not intersted in dating young adults that are in that strange place between childhood and adulthood. Because an 18 year old is still learning and developing despite his mature body. Because I respect and enjoy men with some age on them. And I don’t think it’s so much to ask that from a man in return when it comes to his view on women.

        You don’t like the fact that I think how a lot of men treat women based on age can be crappy? Well that’s how I feel. I wish that all the men who responded took more time to actually address the things I said instead of launching a gender war. Thanks a lot for not really hearing me out.

        • OirishM says:

          Again, you are not getting the response you want because your remarks are one-sided generalisations. Why are you not condemning women who pursue young men as well?

          You may not be able to expect every person your age to be so keen on “mentoring”, but you can be consistent in how you respond to the same behaviour, which is exhibited in both genders.

          • My remarks are ontopic to the conversation. This article isn’t about women pursuing young men. It’s about the reaction and situation of an older man with a young girl. Why in the world would you want to talk about women who pursue young men under this article that is obviously about a situation with an older man and young girl? That makes no sense.

            By specficially addressing one gender over the other at any given time does not in anyway display any kind of “inconsistency”. And I’m sorry you can’t see that or stay on the topic of what *this* article is so obviously about.

            By the way, you totally ignored the experience I shared about myself where I was INFACT the older woman in the situation.

            • OirishM says:

              Your remarks are for most part gross generalisations about men. Commenting on yourself and your mentoring is not the same manner of remark, that is only about one woman. Not consistent.

              Inconsistency and gross generalisations, IME, imply bias.

  3. Dear Erin,

    I’m sorry you take this so personally. This wasn’t supposed to be a celebration of the way older men are attracted to younger women (and vice versa); more a lament. I don’t want a wife who I’m going to predecease by 20 years!

    If it helps, the context for the post (and for most of the other posts I’ve written for the site) is that I’ve spent most of my life trying to attract women my own age, and failing. In this instance, I hadn’t even had a date for over two years. I wasn’t chasing after this girl – but I can’t deny I was grateful for attention that no other woman had given me in years.

    As for the science, it would be impossible to cite all of it. There’s tons of the stuff (much of it depressing, but all of it fascinating). What I try to do is provide a little bit with each story I tell – not an explanation, necessarily, and certainly not a justification; just a flavour of the mechanics of what may have been driving the encounter – and if people are interested, they will hopefully read around the subject.

    And don’t worry. Society is changing. Now a lot of older men, including me, feel worthless (in terms of relationship value) too.

    • Andy, yes I agree, you can’t site all the science but you can certainly offer a more objective position of both men and women’s reproductive science then lamenting over women. Like we haven’t heard before about women’s biological time line. It’s time for men to start talking and focusing on more of their own biological timeline and what it means for them to have children as older fathers. Unfortunetly, the world in general likes to push women under the truck in this regard. Even in the medical community. It’s only lately that we’ve actually seen real information on men’s biological journey. Whenever reproduction is talked about it’s usually about women and their reproductive organs as vehicles for what men want. Call me crazy to say it’s frustrating. And it’s frustrating to see grown adult men feel all warm and fuzzy inside from the attention of a 16 or 18 year old girl. All the more proving once again to women how worthless we are to men as we get older.

      By the way, I didn’t date for a good 3 years and I didn’t get a lot of attention from men. It’s funny how invisible you become to men when you put on some weight. And I’m not talking about being morbidly obese. Just chubby. When I was at my thinnest, when I was skipping meals and working out madly, I got a little more attention but I was never the hottest girl. I wasn’t fending off suitors even then. So when you’re that girl, it’s not unusual to see men approach and pay attention to hotter or/and younger women compared to you. All kinds of men too. Older men, younger men, over weight men, thin men, average men, hot men…… So while I get feeling frustrated by not getting much female attention and feeling lonely, I still don’t think the attention from a 16/18 year old male would be all that spectacular. And I hope you understand that not all us women are getting loaded down with male attention for simply being female.

      • OirishM says:

        We don’t have remotely the same level of information on our reproductive systems as women and that pushes WOMEN under the truck? Seriously?

        • You’ve manipulated my words. I don’t believe you are really open to listening either.

          • OirishM says:

            I showed you the other side of what your words imply. You seriously think a lack of medical research on men’s reproductive systems pushes women under the truck? Seriously? We’re the ones without medical information on how our bodies work here.

            • Oirish, you certainly showed me how *you* specifically took meaning with my words. But that doesn’t mean that’s what my words implied. You manipulated my words out of the context of what they really were. ANd instead of asking me about them, you assumed you knew my words better than I do. It’s interesting to me that you believed that you somehow showed me anything about my own words. Instead of asking me about them.

              I never said that the lack of medical research on men’s reproductive system pushes women under the truck. I said the penchant for men to focus more on women’s biological reproductive failures rather than their own pushes women under the truck. The fact that men will spend more time talking about the way women fail reproductively instead of talking about their very own bodies pushes women under the truck. The fact that a 35+ year old man will talk about an incident with a 16 year old girl and then follow up his article about how men like biologically healthy young women throws women under the bus.

              I unfortunetly think that men do not really want to acknowledge their own biological truths which is why there is usually a greater focus on women’s biological clock than men’s. There might not be as much information out there about the way men are affected by age and their reproduction health. BUT, there is information out there that men like you and the author of this story could begin reading and talking about among each other instead of focusing on the same old tripe about women and their age and younger women and how much more worth while younger women are to you as 35+ year old men. This is all the stuff women are subjected to time and time again when men talk about their biological rights to treat women like cattle and not people.

              By the way, just because there is infact more information about women’s reproductive health than men’s at the current time, the medical community is largely still in men’s favor. Statistically, most medical information is collected from men and often, alot of the medical information that is applied to women is from statistic groups dealing with men. Sometimes, women do not even receive the same medication treatment or attention in the actual medical room because statistically, doctors spend more time with their male patients than their female ones. I could give you more info but that’s a brief overview.

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