The Demise of the Far-Right Conservative White Guy

It’s not that bad, guys.

As a liberal, I admit to taking perverse pleasure—the German word is “schadenfreude”—in watching the FOX News Network turn into Jonestown when President Obama was projected the winner of the presidential election. After Ohio and Virginia went blue, it seemed plausible that Karl Rove, whose super-PAC was on the hook for $300 million, might start throwing his own feces at the cameras.

However, while I was giggling into my sleeve and watching to see if Brit Hume’s hair would actually move, history was happening in my home state of New Hampshire.

On Tuesday, Nov. 6, with the Democratic governor-elect Maggie Hassan defeating the GOP candidate Ovid Lamontagne—no known relation to the singer—and the newly elected Congresswomen Anne Kuster and Carol Shea-Porter, both Democrats, beating the Republican incumbents Charlie Bass and Frank Guinta, respectively, New Hampshire became the first state in this country’s history to have a female governor and all female representatives in Congress—Democrat Jean Shaheen and Republican Kelly Ayotte are the senators.

It’s worth noting that for much of 20th century, New Hampshire was the only red state stronghold on the liberal east coast. It is a state that still has one of the most conservative newspapers in the country, the painfully written and egregiously edited Union Leader, and had someone written an editorial for that rag twenty years ago stating that in 2012 New Hampshire would enjoy all-female congressional representation, the gun-toting good ole’ boys with their pick-up trucks and obdurate white politics would have laughed that person all the way back to the Massachusetts border. It would have seemed the stuff that a campy 50s sci-fi movie was based on.

But sorry, boys, all barbecues must come to an end.

Elections in a democracy are typically good indicators of the public’s pulse, and they seldom occur in a vacuum. Much has already been remarked in the media about why the epic flip-flopper and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney fell significantly short of making Obama a one-term president. However, I’m not interested in punditry and analysis from the talking heads.

What became clear, not only in New Hampshire, but nationally—except in the South where they’re still fighting The Civil War—is that the heyday of the far-right conservative white guy is in a decline, and unless they’re willing to part with some of their archaic 50s social paradigms and stop exalting Reagan and trickle-down economic theories that cater to the rich conservative white guys they hope to become, this species will soon be extinct.

This will be a tough pill for the far-right conservative white guy to swallow. If there’s one demographic that embodies stubbornness and resistance to a changing dynamic, it’s the tone-deaf and paranoid far-right conservative white guy, who wants his wife to serve him, the gays to stay away, and the minorities to quit picking his pockets.

Unfortunate as it is for him—and we’re seeing this in New Hampshire, a one-time bastion for the far-right conservative white guy—most women no longer have time to bake cookies for his kids after school and give him a hand-job at night while he is smoking his pipe and watching the news in the den. The gay community is here to stay and, hopefully, soon will have the same right to be miserable in their marriages as the far-right conservative white guy, and no one is picking their pockets by making them pay taxes.

To the far-right conservative white guy: look ahead, and you will see that you have one of three options. You can get with the times and accept the fact that demographics in America are changing, and stop with the pouting and paranoia. Newsflash: the nostalgia you’re chasing never really existed.

You could also try rallying the South to secede from the Union for a second time and move there. It’ll be a far-right conservative white guy utopia—guns and no taxes or gays getting married. Perhaps you can even readopt the Confederate Constitution, and President Obama will be considered a mere three-fifths of person.

Or you can join Jonestown and drink the Kool-Aid with the rest of the FOX News crew. In the meantime, watch out for errant Karl Rove poop.


Read more:

Trust Me, I’m Lying: Interview With Ryan Holiday: Chuck Ross interviews a self-admitted media manipulator.

Images from White People Mourning Romney/Tumblr

About Nathan Graziano

Nathan Graziano lives in Manchester, New Hampshire. He is the author of three collections of poetry---Not So Profound (Green Bean Press, 2003), Teaching Metaphors (Sunnyoutside Press, 2007) and After the Honeymoon (Sunnyoutside Press, 2009)—a collection of short stories, Frostbite (GBP, 2002), and several chapbooks of fiction and poetry. A chapbook of short prose pieces titled Hangover Breakfasts was recently published by Bottle of Smoke Press this fall. For more information, visit his website at NathanGraziano,com.


  1. What a relief to know that Nathan agrees the most important color in America remains…green.

    • I am not Nathan, I am Bill. My favorite color is blue. Not sure what his favorite color is.

      • Thars a title in there sir! “I am not Nathan, I am Bill.”

        I’ll have my peeps submit (posthumously) MY crappy transcript of a poor shredded, abused boy’s life to you. There will be the failed-christian version and the failed mortal’s version. Guess which one they will send to you? We’ll make a killing!

        I just won’t be able to attend the ALA Annual Conf to sign promos.

  2. Hank Vandenburgh says:

    Thought that was a no-no here.

  3. PastorofMuppets says:

    I think I liked this column better when it was written in 1992, after Clinton won.
    Or after 2006, when the Democrats took control of Congress.
    Or in 2008, when Obama won the first time.

  4. Hank Vandenburgh says:

    Here’s what’s wrong with the white guy discourse. Especially when it’s directed at working class or rural men. It’s racist (yes, Virginia you can be racist toward whites.) It’s sexist (it’s directed at men.) And it’s classist (ever wonder who does a lot of the work yuppies think they’re too good to do? Much of the military service? Puts food on the table in many areas of the US? – it’s white men, at least some of the time.) There is no sensible category called white males. There are rich one percenters who are about half females and half males, true.

    • courage the cowardly dog says:

      Don’t you know that its ok to be racist, sexist and elitiest against white males. You can call me honky, whiteboy or any name you want and its ok. You can give my job to a woman who will go out on maternity leave and not come back, even if I had intended to stay in the job for the next 30 years non stop or at least until they shipped my job to China. Its ok, its all ok. Because I am just a whiteboy and whatever you to a whiteboy is ok, because just maybe my great, great, great grand uncle may have beena member of the Ku Klux Klan and even if I have contributed 10% of my annual income every year to the United Negro College fund, the NAACP, the Southern Christian Leadership Conference or any number of African-American organizatrions whose mission it is to advance African – Americans. You can do anything to me. I walk around backwards with my hands firmly clasping my ankles, because I get what I deserve. Isn’t that right.

  5. If you can’t see how similar this article is to the crap spewed by Rush Limbaugh and others of his ilk- you’re part of the problem.

  6. From the looks of the pic the “far right” is defined by mainstream Republicanism. I suppose it’s not atypical to portray that which one can see as the worst manifestation of the “other” around. After, Hillary Clinton is a feminist NAZI, right? Whew.

  7. courage the cowardly dog says:

    Wow, that is perverse. I don’t take pleasure in seeing my fellow Americans suffer angst and anxiety in the face of perhaps having their fundamental beliefs come under attack. For instance, I did not enjoy any particular pleasure seeing Chris Matthews practically suffer a stroke after Obama’s first debate performance. I would prefer if my news commentators were not so partisan and I have watched both Fox and MSNBC and can unequivocally say that MSNBC is much more liberally partisan than Fox is conservatively partisan. Fox at least permits the views of liberals to be aired on their network, MSNBC does not.


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