We need to stop teaching our black boys how to survive in a world not designed for them, and instead show them how to design a world that will allow them to thrive as individuals.
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I never realized how hard it was to get people to view black men and boys as assets until I asked them to actually do it. In countless conversation I’ve had with peers about black male achievement—from philanthropy to politics, to the environment and education—the question has always been: “how do we help black boys achieve?” and not: “how do we leverage the value and agency of black men and boys who are already achieving to inspire others and transform the spaces they live, work and play?”
In my opinion, the reason the latter doesn’t gets asked as often as it should is because most people believe that black men and boys are problems that need to be solved; a disease that needs to be cured. Decision and media makers pretend the answer is as easy as getting the “thugs” to pull up their pants and not tattoo their faces.
Well-intentioned teachers and mentors often express that if black boys wear suits, ties, and carry books instead of bullets, that the probability of being accepted by, and achieving in, the “real world” will increase dramatically. Parents of black boys—just wanting them to come home in one piece—indoctrinate them religiously with the “do’s and don’ts of being black in public.”
And all the while, during of all these lectures, the black boys who we want to grow into proud black men are slowly but surely feeling humanity slip right out of their finger tips. With a skewed perception of their self-worth, chances are those black boys grow into insecure black men who feel the need to measure their accomplishments and assets to their white-counterparts, ultimately seeking validation outside their race before accepting what makes them unique.
What we should be telling black boys, and more importantly, what they deserve to hear is that the “real-world” is f*cked up and is filled with sick people who will hate them regardless of whether or not they are wearing a hoodie or a Brooks Brothers suit. They need to hear that the problem is the world and not them; that they exist to improve the world, not succumb to its bullsh*t. Black boys deserve to know that their elders will fight for their right to walk or run down a street of their choosing—regardless of their clothing—without the fear of being intimidated by a police officer who doesn’t view them as a human being.
We need to stop teaching our black boys how to survive in a world not designed for them, and instead show them how to design a world that will allow them to thrive as individuals. We need stop preaching respectability politics and tell our black boys what they deserve to hear, which is the sky is not the limit, it’s the starting point.
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Thanks for reading. Until next time, I’m Flood the Drummer® & I’m Drumming for JUSTICE!™
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Photo: AfroDad/Flickr
Kal, you said “They each had their biological parents still married. Their parents were often at the school helping serve lunch or volunteering to help coach. Each set of parents made sure that there was someone home every single night to go over homework with their child (every single night for four years) ….I don’t know what this means. I know there are stories of single moms who can raise healthy productive boys” You do know what it means but it’s not PC to say it, Kids do better with intact families. And I don’t think you should ever shy… Read more »
I agree with what you said. From experience I can say that until mental health is addressed, and as long as 2 to 3 black girls out of every five are being molested and raped quietly with no consequences for the rapist and no therapy and healing for her, single motherhood will continue to be a problem in our community. As long as one in six males are raped or molested by age 18 same thing. Insecure, lacking self worth and self esteem, the individuals grow up with trust issues and choose to leave when anything reminds them off the… Read more »
Boys AND girls.
I thought this was a really inspiring article ! I taught in an inner city school where all of our students were black. We would start out with approximately 400 freshman and we only graduated about 90 seniors. I really wanted to understand what I was seeing. Why were so many beautiful boys that came in during 9th grade lost by the time they were 18? Where were we failing these boys? I knew most of the teachers very well, we were a ethically diverse crew and 90% of us really loved teaching. I don’t have statistics but here is… Read more »
a powerful read