Is a simple ‘No’ more harmful to humanity than we think? Best-selling author Shonda Rhimes sheds light on the life changing power of a one-word response.
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Yes or no. It’s a seemingly simple paradox of yin and yang, black and white–put on a seemingly scale of odds. When we step back and let others figure out the puzzle, that’s often what the game of life looks like. When we get closer and decide to get our hands dirty, however, we see that puzzle isn’t so simple.
We find that perhaps we should have stepped in before things got complicated. We find that perhaps we should have cared a little more or just taken a little more time to do or say whatever it is we think we don’t have time for. So we push it to the side and say no–but as Shonda Rhimes–best-selling author and lead show runner for ABC’ Network’s hit show, “Grey’s Anatomy” found out, that’s the root of the problem.
In 2013, Rhimes decided to let go and say yes to every person she came in contact with, as well as every situation she found herself in. It was a seemingly simple decision that took her all the way through 2014. A single mother of three daughters, Rhimes would often put off making French braids, or doing this or that. She was heckled by her older sister who told her, “You never say yes to anything!” months before. So, Shonda embarked on this journey–not thinking much would come of it–when something beautiful happened.
“This ‘Yes’ is about giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is a priority from what’s good for you over to what makes you feel good.”
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Fast forward with now. The chains Shonda never knew she carried are broken, and her new book, “Year of Yes”, has been at the top of nearly every major book list across the country. In the video above–shot while she delivered her keynote address to graduating students at Darmouth College last year–Rhimes openly talked about her fears that prompted The Year of Yes.
“in general, I do not like giving speeches. Giving a speech requires standing in front of large groups of people while they look at you, and it also requires talking. I get this overwhelming feeling of fear–terror, really.”
She went on to tell the students it’s misleading to dream when there’s nothing standing in the way–that the words “I wish” are just excuses for someone not to reach their full potential.
In a recent piece published by Upworthy.com, Shonda shared the top five things The Year of Yes taught her. The naked eye may see these things as elementary, which they are likely meant to be seen as. But again, it’s deceiving because that’s only what our eyes allow us to see. It’s almost as if this list–and Shonda’s sharing of her story in her book–are pointing back to us as individuals. It’s almost like they’re saying, “Hey, you’re not part of the problem. You are the problem, for tossing too many things and people to the side.”
So, the only question here is: Is she right?
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