The Uncomfortable Truth About Educated People and Unprotected Sex …

Damon Young points out the difference between what we know and what we do.

This was previously published on Very Smart Brothas.

… is that none of us really want to admit that — despite our (occasionally) expert and (always) intimate knowledge about AIDS rates, unwanted pregnancies, what unwanted and unprepared for pregnancies can do to our bank accounts, what 9 pound 8 ounce babies do to perfectly nice and pretty vaginas, how single parents (mothers especially) are ostracized, Ron Mexico, bacterial vaginosis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, papillomavirus, pelvic inflammatory disease, syphilis, trichomoniasis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital herpes, the ubiquity and silliness of Valtrex commercials, Jim Jones, the fact that Magnum condoms really aren’t any bigger than regular ones, The Red Pump Project, killer p*ssy, limbo p*ssy, stripper p*ssy, Delta p*ssy, killer Delta stripper limbo p*ssy, whiskey d*ck, wack d*ck, crack d*ck, deprived d*ck, parking lot d*ck, “too nondescript to really count against my number” d*ck, keeping the numbers down, drunk sex, ex sex, sad sex, “I don’t really want to have sex with you, but I’m going to have sex with you anyway” sex, “your o face is too goofy for us to have sex again” sex, the Tuskegee experiment, Antonio Cromartie, Nas’ “You Got a House IVirginia” diss directed at Cam’ron in “Zone Out”, Eazy-E, Ol Dirty Bastard’s incoherent verse on the live MTV version of “America Is Dying Slowly”, dental dams, the utter ridiculousness of the female condom, the medieval-ness of Rape-Ex, Magic Johnson, the spaceship Magic Johnson takes to Jupiter once a month to pick up his HIV drugs, the joke that Flavor Flav looks exactly how we all thought Magic Johnson was going to look by now, The Corner, the occasionally absurd and always misleading stats that seem to come out annually about Baltimore’s infection rate, the prominence and prevalence of strippers, stripper culture, and young kids with names that have basically doomed them to be strippers, female ejaculation, the inane argument that female ejaculation doesn’t exist, the faux reliability of the pull-out method, and, most importantly, the fact that we know that we’re smart enough, educated enough, and thoughtful enough to know better — many of us (and my “many” I mean “most”) still have had unprotected sex, are currently having unprotected sex, and don’t plan on discontinuing the unprotected sex any time soon.

—Photo quaziefoto/Flickr

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About Damon Young

Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of VerySmartBrothas.com. Their first book Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime is available at Amazon.com

Comments

  1. Good article here. Though: “Magnum condoms really aren’t any bigger than regular ones….” isn’t true, not by a long shot. I can tell you from personal experience. Plus, there is an obvious comfort difference between Magnum XLs and regular Magnums. So the jump from regular to Magnum, from an outsider’s perspective (not necessarily you), has gotta change. I mean, have you tried lifestyles cuz? Naw, that ain’t flyin over here.

  2. Mike,

    Thanks for compliment.

    And, um, here’s a quote straight from the horse’s mouth about Magnums and regular condoms.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/28/business/media/28adco.html?scp=1&sq=condom&st=cse

    The Magnum brand is viewed as a positive lifestyle badge and positive symbol, Mr. Daniels (vice president of marketing at trojan) said. And people are proud to show they have a Magnum condom the large size really connotes a sense of above-average prowess, let’s call it.

    For all the connotations, however, it turns out that Magnum is not so large. It is the same length as standard condoms, with the same circumference at its base, Mr. Daniels said. Some people feel more comfortable with that width, but you dont have to be an overly endowed man to use a Magnum and enjoy it, he added.

    (btw, I agree that Lifestyles’ suck)

  3. I feel like I’m a dog and my owner just yelled at me for getting into the trash.

    I’m just going to sit in the corner and hang my head in shame.

  4. Anthony Zarat says:

    HIV deaths in 2012 were 17,000. This is less than the number of suicide or automobile accident deaths (31,289 suicide deaths, 42,643 automobile accident fatalities). It is both easier and more efffective to wear a seat belt, than a condom.

    In contrast, 2 million children were legally taken from their fathers in 2012. This is the best reason to fasten the condom :)

    • wet_suit_one says:

      Amen brother. My greatest fear!

      Thankfully, no kids to be taken away. I don’t use protection as I’m in a monogamous long term relationship. I also don’t worry too much about unplanned pregnancy due to other issues (It’s both good and bad). So while I’m well educated about all these things, I don’t follow any of them, because the usual rules don’t apply (except if she’s cheating on me ’cause I know I ain’t cheatin’ on her).

      However, back in the wild and woolly days of cavorting with the pro’s, condoms were a must and man almighty, those ladies knew their sexual health business (and other business as well) like no one else. Quite honestly (and there’s at least one study to back this up somewhere like here: http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/06/23/us-sex-diseases-swingers-idUSTRE65M6NX20100623 ), if you want to have safe sex as a male, a pro with a good reputation is the way to go. Fun, safe and a sure thing.

      Anyways… I digress.

  5. loved it the 1st time i read it.
    still do.

  6. Anasthasia says:

    I like Lifestyles. Ultra thin. Have to order online b/c I can’t find in store anymore.

  7. Damn that’s a lot of uneducated f@cking you’ll are doing…

  8. wellokaythen says:

    ‘Twas ever thus.

    We have more than enough information out there to make responsible decisions about sex. (Unless you’re a teenager in some parts of the country.) We all do things that we KNOW are stupid or wrong and we do them anyway. More knowledge, more information, more education can only take us so far. Every society is like that – everyone does things they know are wrong or unhealthy but they do them anyway.

    For example, I can’t imagine anyone starts smoking today DOESN’T know that smoking is bad for your health. It’s not a lack of information. We could put photos of diseased lungs on the cigarette packs and put in big letters “this will kill you,” and people would still take up smoking.

  9. This is not surprising. There have been many scientific studies (if I had more time here at work, I’d look some of them up) indicating that love and pre-sex hormones make us stupid.

    It’s not merely the “hey, I could get some here, but I don’t have a condom with me… what the hell, just this once, because I don’t want to let this opportunity slip away” aspect, we actually, in scientifically measurable ways, lose common sense and IQ points, which lead us to do stupid things like assume that the person we’re with COULDN’T be one of the ones who actually has any of the nasty diseases, and that WE won’t be the unlucky ones to conceive a child.

    This is one of the things I try to teach my children, that it’s not just a matter of KNOWING the right thing to do, it’s a matter of making it extremely easy TO do, because in the heat of battle (so to speak), we already have physiology working against us (not to mention the biological urge to reproduce and the fact that it just feels better without a condom), we don’t need any extra reasons why this time is the time we should do without.

  10. Here is a great guide to STD’s http://postmasculine.com/std-guide

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