Don’t complain about online dating success if your profile looks something like this.
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When it comes to online dating I generally believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. Most of us aren’t marketers or image consultants, and knowing how to present our best-self in just a few pictures and sentences can be daunting.
However, there are some profiles types that show up again and again, and I simply don’t get it. Here are a few examples of real profiles that are enough to boggle the mind and keep me in on a Saturday night.
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1.This man clicked the new “super-like” option, which should signify he has the ability to garner at least some amount of enthusiasm. No need to smile big if it’s not your style, but some small effort towards expression in a dating profile would be helpful.
2. I can understand if a guy has a particular fondness for his package. He might want to wait to share that particularly cozy feeling until after he’s met and gotten to know someone.
3. I am all for success and travel, but if you say that you are “NOT looking for empty hookups,” a picture of your cash is going to make me wonder what you are looking for. Big time.
4. With all of the wonderful qualities listed by this dude, why do I need a headless picture of his back? I’d love to know if your face expresses that clever charm, or if you are just a douche. This picture tells me nothing.
5. Ummmmmmm……..
6. I get that your bros will be super excited that you got to snuggle up to Santa’s helpers last year, but unless you are trying to date your boys, pictures like these are beyond unnecessary. No woman on a dating site was ever was wooed by seeing a man in a photo with beautiful models. Ever.
7. Thanks for offering me the cup of man-juice, but, uh, I’ll pass, thanks.
8. Is this his teenage daughter? One of his most recent exes? His female bestie? Please don’t make women guess about the identity of the woman in your photo. Swiping left is much easier for her than trying to figure it out.
9. Yes, I have seen Jon Hamm before. Yes, he is handsome. No, a photo of him in place of your cheating face does not make having an affair with you any more appealing an offer. #Sorrynotsorry
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Photo credits: courtesy of the author
Hahahahaha!!!! (In re:smashing pumpkin bum)
What’s you Tinder profile look like, Arianna?
Same picture as my Facebook profile, John.
Maybe #5 is big fan of the band Smashing Pumpkins.
Haha women have no idea how privileged they are on dating sites. Most would be in for a bad shock if they were a man.
“. No woman on a dating site was ever was wooed by seeing a man in a photo with beautiful models. ”
Pre-selection is real though. A man with attractive women around him appears more attractive to quite a lot of women as they deem him worthy to be friends with/or more. It’s also partly why some women chase married men.
@ Archy,
Are you saying that women are just as guilty of this sort of thing?
I have never done online dating. So, I have no idea.
I will agree with you that women do enjoy privilege when it comes to dating and sex.
I get that attractive women do have it easier overall on these sites. For sure. I just don’t think it is that hard for men to at least put some effort into how they present themselves.
I have actually searched for women in the same age range/geographic area as myself before in order to see who the men viewing me would most likely be seeing as well. For the most part the women really do seem to take their presentation of themselves more seriously. Not always, but as a general rule.
Attractive women — or perhaps women in general — may have it easier on online dating sites, but I believe it is more complicated than that. The experiences men have on dating sites is very different than it is for women. More difficult for men? Perhaps, but what makes it frustrating is that most men have so very few chances of getting contacted by women directly and not much better luck in getting a response to any messages sent to women. So it’s like trying to communicate to an empty void with very little feedback to know what is working… Read more »
This fuels the problem. The women get messaged so much, some become snobby, some are just unable to reply to all, some are scared of the abusive ones who can’t take rejection so many good men leave the sites in droves because women just don’t reply much. I’ve known a fair few great guys give up on online dating. I think the creeps n scatter shot people stay on them a lot longer than decent men cuz they probably don’t care either way, whereas decent men do feel hopeless after yet another unanswered message. I had 3 women politely reject… Read more »
All a woman has to do is not be ugly, ….. scratch that, all a woman has to do is not be TOO ugly.
Because of the competition men have to lower their own standards to stand a chance.
Ugly women make great partners too!
🙂
Hi Mortalez, perhaps if you asked women what their experiences where, you wouldn’t limit women by believing that all a woman has to do is not be ‘too’ ugly. Which is not true at all to my experiences or to the experiences of my friends and other women I talk with about this topic. It comes off really degrading and condescending by insisting you understand women’s dating experiences better then they do and belittling women by suggesting that all they have to do is not be ‘too ugly’. Women have as fast and in-depth and complex experience in dating as… Read more »
I was being a bit light-hearted with the first comment. A man’s profile picture is far more important than a woman’s for the simple reason that many women do not read the messages sent to them, they see the pic and that picture is everything or nothing. I’d say men probably look more deeply at the other pictures, read the profile and spend more time viewing the profile of someone they are interested in. The privilege I refer to is simple numbers. There are more men on the dating sites by quite a large amount, and many women literally can… Read more »
Archy Tinder is strange but things are not exactly like you think. I saw a documentary last night about dating apps . One man had had sex 9 times in week with different women. He was on Tinder all the time and described himself as an addict. He was obese, middle aged and NOT good looking. And ordinary looking guy. So what is going on? It looked to me that he was “a genius”, in making women feel safe and feel that he was an ordinary guy ,normal, ….. Actually I do not know how he communicated but he was… Read more »
I mean he did not harm any of the women if all they wanted was to meet a man once .
But of course if the women looked for a romantic relationship ,and he communicated in a way that indicated that he also wanted a relationship,then I would say he was dishonest .
What age group? I am 30 so it may be different in older years.
He was 42 years old Archy.
Maybe it was unfair of me to call him middle aged but he did not look young and fit ….
It’s very different 18-30’s I’d say.
What’s “middle age” if not 40-50?
Or am I totally off base here?
@ Silke,
“So what is going on?”
Maybe they are sex addicts like him? Maybe they are prostitutes?
Btw, check out his link below. Shocking!!
http://www.economist.com/news/international/21666114-internet-blew-porn-industrys-business-model-apart-its-response-holds-lessons
Looks like love pornhub here in America.
Jules I feel guilty for telling Archy that story. I looked at the documentary one more time and saw that is dishonest. He send the same message to all women, around 12 every day.And he pretend that he seldom use Tinder. So he gets lots of dates because he communicates well,but I think all his relationships will be doomed since he starts with a lie. He is addicted but pretends to be one that seldom use Tinder. I am sorry I told Archy about it,but my point is that Archy is more than good enough and any women that takes… Read more »
Silke,
“He was obese, middle aged and NOT good looking.
And ordinary looking guy.”
I must say, this makes me kind of curious about your standards for an ordinary looking guy.