Are you feeling disconnected from your own heart? Consider these three words and develop a healing road map back to living.
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A lot of times, men seemingly run through life disconnected from their heart space. So much of our head space is filled with “to-do” lists, business meetings, phone calls, emails, fears, doubts, anxiety … well, that may not be true for you.
Yes, and pigs fly, too.
I happen to believe that three words, when considered deeply within a man’s heart and soul, can help mend whatever brokenness is inside. Now this does call for you to stop … like take a break, dude … and sit down and breathe.
You have to hit the gym before doing this? Super. Go pump some iron, do the treadmill work, come home, take a shower, and then breathe. Maybe it is taking a bike ride through nature, going for a run, or simply grabbing a smooth cup of coffee. Whatever tickles your fancy, OK!
Faith, grace and love … these three words, when given some thought, can actually help mend a man’s heart. I choose to believe so, and let me lay out my reasons.
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Faith can be a pretty heavy-handed word because it can have a lot of serious religious and spiritual overtones to it. “Have faith in God, Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, the Universe, Higher Power, Higher Consciousness … ” and on and on it goes.
To me, faith involves trust. Trust that everything is going to work out well in my life. Trust that all of my personal, professional and financial needs will be met. Faith that this always vibrant world filled with protons, electrons and neutrons is actually supporting me. Little 50-year-old me.
I like to consider myself as a faith-filled man. Honestly, though, I can be the biggest coward because my faith gets trumped by fear and that desperate ego within me. Damn. In the end, though, faith in myself and in what I am offering others through what I write, create and give helps me look far beyond my little self-induced world and see a bigger picture.
If you thought faith was a toughie, then try out grace. Ah, I read and hear so much about how graceful and athletic some superstar was in a ballgame recently. For instance, the National Basketball Association playoffs are happening as I write and if you spent three minutes listening to sports-talk radio (which can be mind-numbing at times), then you probably will hear someone refer to Cleveland Cavaliers star LeBron James as graceful.
That’s one way to look at grace. Another is to see the goodness within your own heart and accept that just by being alive gives you a chance to tap into a never-ending source of grace. Do you ever see grace in your life? If you are married or in a relationship, look at your partner. Look deeply into her eyes, his eyes. Ask yourself: What do you see? Is there a spark of grace and tenderness that you can accept and receive? I’d encourage you to allow your own heart to open up to that grace. I feel that grace is this wonderful, healing sensation that can be shared between intimate partners as well as good friends. What’s your definition of grace? Do you care about grace?
I’d offer you a chance to take a few minutes and ponder where grace shows up in your life. Open your heart to the possibility that grace is a powerful gift that transcends time and space.
Now I come to love. Again, this word carries so much power and internal energy within it that anyone could spend 25,000 words or more writing on this topic. In fact, just Google “love” or go on Amazon.com and search for “love” and see what results come back on your screen.
Love is an incredible emotion that every person alive feels at one time or another. Yes, there is sexual love where two people become as one in moments of intimacy. There also is love of my fellow man, woman or child and accepting them right where they are … not looking to fix or tweak their behaviors and attitudes. For men, I wonder if we have a problem in loving ourselves. As I have written before about love, I’m not talking about narcissism. I admit that I’ve been around some heavyweight narcissists in my life. Oh man, that’s for another column.
If I don’t love myself in a healthy, nurturing way, then how the hell am I going to be able to fully love others? I can put on a show, a ruse, a fake mask and make believe like “yeah bro or dear, I love you.” Where do the shadows pop up and keep you from loving yourself? Where do they pop up in my own life? Not as many places today as years ago, yet they still rear their ugly head.
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This entire column could run for weeks simply focusing on those three words. I know, though, that grabbing someone’s attention over a period of time takes work and effort. Plus, faith, grace and love are calling me to get out of my own way and let them support me in a healthy, nurturing life.
I do believe, in my own heart of hearts, that taking time to ponder and consider how these terms can bring a sense of peace to your life can definitely raise you from a “just getting by” attitude to one of fully appreciating every single moment that you are alive.
Maybe get a Post-It note, write these words on it and put it next to your work space. Put it on your fridge. Write them down, look at them in the morning and night … and ponder what they mean to you. I know they will have a different meaning for you than what they do for me.
As a man, I know that the more in touch I am with the love in my own heart that forgiveness and empathy—two other pretty heavy words—can open myself to great power, wisdom and joy.
Living a joy-filled life through faith, grace and love can make a big difference in your world and mine. Hold my hand, my brother. Take my other hand, my sister. We can do this together.
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Photo: Getty Images
Joe, this is an absolutely beautiful article; it is thought provoking as well as inspiring. Keep up the good work.