A woman wrote a really cool ‘mega-letter’ to any men who may have gone through recent heartbreak.
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I’m just going to go ahead and call out all you men out there. Yes, even you there, stud muffin, with your sweat-drenched, muscle-pumping, 5 o’clock shadow self. You, much like women, are either currently heartbroken or have been heartbroken by some audacious woman whom you thought was “the one.”
You can act tough, but I know that deep down, you are as soft as a teddy bear. Chances are, you have gone through the coulda, shoulda, woulda list. Sadly, you’ve been left with unanswered and empty questions.
Meanwhile, you are wondering how in the eff you’re going to get over this not-so-clever broad and if you’ll ever be able to move on.
So, in an attempt to help, here is an open letter to all those tough-on-the-outside, but soft-souled men: You’re going to be alright.
Dear Handsome,
I realize that at this current moment in time, you are hurting. You are examining every inch of your life and asking yourself how this happened and why.
While I don’t have the answers for you, and I probably never will, I can tell you that someone out there is waiting to love you with all her heart. She is wondering what it would be like to love someone as special as you, and to know what it feels like to be with someone she truly connects with.
I know you don’t see it now, and it will take some time, but this is for the better. It’s a growing point in your life; some things aren’t meant to last forever and they fall apart so better things can fall together.
I can tell you that whoever broke your heart didn’t realize how good she had it. Truth be told, she didn’t deserve to have you in the first place.
This person has conditioned you to work on yourself, and to help you become an even better man than you already are. You will be someone else’s dream come true. There’s someone in this world who looks at you and her heart beams. She smiles without even knowing it.
You are always on her mind, and you’re the first thing she thinks of when she wakes up. She ask herself how she went this long without knowing someone as awesome as you. That’s something to look forward to during this process.
When you’ve been damaged, the last thing on your mind is someone new. You grasp onto old memories, and just keeping asking, why? What did you do so wrong? Were you not enough? Did you not give enough attention? Did you not love her hard enough? Is there something wrong with you?
I only ask two simple things of you: Stop asking why and please don’t blame yourself. Insecurities can truly ruin any relationship, and nine times out of 10, it has nothing to do with you.
It hurts as if your heart has been stabbed with a million burning knives. You’re probably thinking you can’t move on from this, but I am here to tell you that you can and you will. Whether it’s centerstage or behind the curtain, someone cares and will be there for whatever you need.
You probably barely know or might not even know the person who is smiling at the thought of you right now.
When the timing is right, and the stars align in the night sky, it will all work out. Healing is a process, and it takes however long your heart needs.
Wake up each day thinking, “I can and will get through this,” and I promise that you will. Keep your beautiful face held high, smile and know that your future is waiting for you.
Take each day in stride, and whatever you do, please don’t shut down. You will close yourself off to a love that is waiting for you. Whether you see it or not, you are an incredible individual with so much potential to make someone happier than she ever imagined possible.
We have all been broken before, and it’s up to us to rebuild and move forward. It’s not the end; just think of how much better your next relationship will be. Forgive her, forgive yourself, make new friends, build bonds with new people and remember to smile.
To the woman who destroyed your amazing heart, thank you. Thank you for letting this incredible man go, and giving someone else the opportunity to love and cherish him the way he deserves. Thank you for quitting and allowing someone new to heal and mend his heart.
True love doesn’t quit, and you closed the door. No judgment, just a huge thank you. You are helping someone else’s future of pure bliss and happiness come to fruition.
Keep your head up, handsome. She is out there and waiting patiently for when the time is right.
Sincerely, Your Friend
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
Photo San Diego Shooter Flickr
About the author: Heather Hughes. Heather is a Soldier in The US Army currently serving in Hawaii. While not deployed she likes to be in the gym, outdoors, and sing. She writes whatever comes to mind. On weekends she likes to take long walks on the beach and count the stars.
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Thank you so much Heather.. You are a beautiful person.. This is exactly what I needed right now. Thank you again for being an angel and uplifting my spirits and giving me hope.. God bless you 🙂
Thank you.
I like all this except the part about no judgement. Some people are truly despicable, and deserve to burn in hell for what they’ve done, I think I’ll always believe that.
Thank you for that. Very uplifting. I hope this is true.
This is what i need right now,thanks to you beautiful
All I can say is a Big Thanks
Hey Heather, Thank you so much for your words. It reminded me to keep being good and kind hearted even if it only brought me a broken heart. This letter helped my healing process. I’m ready to stop thinking of her and move on. You just pulled out my thoughts about there is someone out there who is just dying to love me and I should be ready to love her as much as she deserves. I’m pumped again and excited to know whoever she is and what I can do for her! I’m looking forward for her to taste… Read more »
…thank you! 🙂
Thanks
Heather Hughes, from the bottom of my broken heart . . . thank you! I have been married for 13 years. The day after our most recent anniversary, my wife filed for divorce (also three weeks before a two week trial . . . I am trial attorney.) I can’t say that I didn’t see it coming. I was myself thinking about filing for divorce. I was just waiting for better timing. The process (still ongoing) has been very hard. We have three small kids. There are days when I am happy and optimistic about the future. Then are days… Read more »
Dear Heather,
Marry me pls? Haha… Very umm, moving article. this may be a little off-topic but here in our place, it has always been the guys who are faulted/blamed whenever a relationship ends. so…this really did help. Thanks for this…
All I want to say is thank you Heather, thank you for helping me get through this by showing love and compassion for those men who’ve been broken when they’re not supposed to have a heart and or to be broken.
Thank you!
I just have to say the cold hard truth that this is a bunch of mushy bull crap. We are just animals and women naturally look for the best providers through natural process of elimination. I consider myself a good looking guy buy way of how women treat me but honestly when they sniff out my bank account it doesn’t matter how good looking I am because there is no interest. If I don’t have a house and a decent job that pays well enough then there is no such thing as love. Welcome to reality people!
Thank you , for this . like many men I have experienced the emotions of this article more than once , especialy as a single parent of 10 years with 3 children . After my breakup with my In October 2013 with my Lover, I could have done with receiving this letter , I didn’t , but I did find my Lady . Your comment “You probably barely know or might not even know the person who is smiling at the thought of you right now.” Rings so true , I ‘ve known her and and said ‘hi’ to her… Read more »
We have all been broken before, and it’s up to us to rebuild and move forward. It’s not the end; just think of how much better your next relationship will be. Forgive her, forgive yourself, make new friends, build bonds with new people and remember to smile. Better yet, try to think of how much better off you are right now. You don’t need any “next relationship” to feel good. Build bonds, but be happy in yourself! Take each day in stride, and whatever you do, please don’t shut down. You will close yourself off to a love that is… Read more »
Beautiful! OMG … I am sending this to a few good men I know who have been heartbroken recently so they keep their heart open instead of hardening it and shutting love out. Sometimes being hurt this much has led a man to miss his true love when she finally came around because his heart was guarded like a fortress. It only led to more hurt and loneliness.
Jackie:
I am sure these Men will appreciate you sending this article. Many women tend to shame Men after a failed relationship. I am glad you are not one of those.
As far as missing love, love shouldn’t be looked at as a trophy.
That is all I’ll say on that.
Angelguy
I agree. Love is a gift not a trophy. And shaming heartbroken men or women doesn’t help the matter for anyone.
After knowing enough guy friends who had such a heart wall up and later said they missed out on the gal who was the one whose heart beamed around them because of the fortress around their heart, this article is timely and worth sharing.
The only person who wins when men and women keep the wall up and love shut out is no one.
I don’t know you Heather, but thank you so much for your article… I appreciate your brave and sweet writting.
Definitely needed that… thank you
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you. This may be the kindest thing anyone has said to me all year.
Thank you Heather……..I needed this…..
That was very encouraging & uplifting…
I am wondering what prompted you to write this. Its written largely from the perspective of what a woman many need to hear to heal and recover but its a long leap that man are so universally “broken” or “damaged” because a woman breaks up with us. This is not how most men language this experience. We speak in terms of disappointment, hurt or crushed… but injured, in the way that women often experience it s not a dynamic of “guy experience”.
McCall writes: I am wondering what prompted you to write this. Its written largely from the perspective of what a woman many need to hear to heal and recover but its a long leap that man are so universally “broken” or “damaged” because a woman breaks up with us. This is not how most men language this experience. We speak in terms of disappointment, hurt or crushed… but injured, in the way that women often experience it s not a dynamic of “guy experience”. — McCall – what you need to understand to answer this question is that GMP is… Read more »
Randy, McCall – those may be your views but they are not the views of all men. This article could have been written specifically for me and about me. It is in my language. (For the record, I know very fee men who would have intuition, the sensitivity or the balls to express themselves this way, though there have been one or two here on GMP – Jordan Gray’s article last Sunday, “Shame – learning to love after a devastating breakup” was one.) I speak this language. I think this way. I don’t think that makes me any less a… Read more »
Hey McCall – you don’t speak for all men and damn sure not for me. I feel exactly what she says. I think you’re having a huge reaction to this post and you are the one that brought up words like broken. Perhaps you’re feeling broken and you can only imagine others feeling that way too. I certainly do not. But I am feeling broken hearted and am thinking and spinning the wheels in my head in the exact way thee author describes. Randy – you need o stop hating yourself and others. Then maybe, you can read this article… Read more »
i understand that “patiently” is nearly a reflex after “wait” or “waiting”. Strikes me that some guys would prefer to hear “impatiently” in this context. Maybe even “proactively”.
That said, it’s a good article. Wondering what one might have done or not done is tough enough. Hearing, “I would have xxxx if you had asked/suggested/insisted you wanted xxxxx” is even tougher. Especially if you think it’s true.
Incredible article! Thank you!