Louise Thayer offers a poetic message to her past lovers.
___
To the men who tried to love me.
I’m sorry
but I tried to love you too.
We worked hard to pretend
to each other that we knew
what lay below
the cover of our lives.
Ever floating behind
pretty willing eyes,
I let you rescue me
whenever you thought
that’s what I needed,
until I wanted
to save myself
from the lies
I didn’t know we’d believed.
I am dark and dirt
and how I always should have been.
Fertile with the knowledge
I am mine-deep
and dangerous when hurt.
I am pressed against the pores
of my own skin from inside
and I seep through my body
from worm-ridden holes,
substrate for my soul,
until a garden erupts
from within.
When you thought that you loved me
you loved only what I seemed.
Teeming now, life-full, I pour forth
past your expectations
and lack of time
to dream.
I am mine.
Deep and darkly
sorry.
Me.
Photo—george erws/Flickr
Entropy, not Atrophy.
Terms of endearment are full spectrum which all lead to white, time is a fundamental rule of nature that makes things dark. Atrophy, is a part of existence… Light shines from many directions, in many ways and is possible to find in the places you least expect!