When does perception take more than sight and intellect? Erin Kelly offers a different perspective on one man’s act of kindness towards a mother and her disabled daughter.
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Perception is like a mirror. It gives off a reflection that can be fuzzy or distorted, even if it’s not intended to be seen that way. When one looks back at that reflection, they will either see an angel or a ghost starring back at them. Their actions will likely determine whether or not their wave of wrongful action or judgement was just a mistake or a personal attack on someone else.
If that person says or does something off kilter—but has good intentions—it’s our innate responsibility as human beings to do what we can to help them open their eyes. By the same token, one might find that those same actions can garner an unwanted image or identity if displayed in a less-than-polite manner. That person not only must stop to recognize this at one point or another, but to also figure out where they went wrong.
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If they followed their heart from the start, it’s likely that very little needs reconciliation or explaining. However, it’s not always a given that everything that person has said or done will be perceived with kindness, warmth and understanding. Sometimes you have to look at something in a complexly different way to truly see its flaws—as with this recent article from The Washington Post.
The Oct. 18 report focused on Melody Leach, the mother of a two-year-old daughter named Beatrice, who has cerebral palsy. Leach, who lives in Loveland, Colorado, makes frequent trips to a local grocery store—Loveland King Soopers—with Beatrice. That would seem like a chore in itself for majority of parents because they have a toddler in tow—but for Melody—it’s only half the battle because Beatrice is unable to sit in a standard shopping cart.
“[Beatrice] has outgrown her stroller, so I put her in her wheelchair and I take her in the store, and grab a [shopping] basket. I try to push [her chair] with one hand as I carry the basket,” Leach said in an interview with KUSA, an affiliate of NBC.
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She also noted that Beatrice has a dislocated hip, and can’t sit in the wheelchair for extended periods of time because it causes her to have seizures. As a result, Melody often has no choice but to leave Beatrice at home and hire a nurse to come care for her while she shops.
However, when Mike Myers—an assistant manager at Loveland King Soopers—got wind of all this, the store willingly purchased a cart with an extra-large seat to fit both Beatrice and Melody’s groceries. The cart has been dubbed “Beatrice’s Cart”, and includes a harness to keep her in the seat safely.
Myers told The Loveland Reporter-Herald the reason he asked the store to buy this cart was because he once had a friend whose brother had cerebral palsy. He also said that this addition will “make the shopping experience better for this one shopper in particular and anyone who has special needs and needs that cart.”
This has all the components of a feel-good story. Someone had the heart and kindness to step up and prove that chivalry is indeed not dead. I don’t hold anything against that. In fact, I’m admittedly love stories about kindness—but this story went on to say that the store decked out that cart with a flashy, flamboyant pink exterior, and put streamers and balloons on it, as seen in the photo above.
That’s where this story takes a bit of a confusing turn, at least in my mind. I’m not a toddler—but even if I were, I don’t think I’d like my cerebral palsy to be exposed in that way. I don’t even think I’d like it now as an adult, because I don’t like to call attention to myself or my disability in a grand, flashy way. I think my CP speaks for itself in the sense that people are immediately aware that I have it when they see me. There isn’t a need for me to be “showy” about it, but I do feel I have a responsibility to educate others about it.
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If you put bells and whistles on anything—whether it’s a cart, a house or a shoe—you’re going to call attention to it. If you accentuate someone’s flaws or imperfections when they’re already on display for the world to see—such as with a disability—those flaws are going to become even more apparent.
You may not realize you’re doing any harm, and that’s why we need mankind to learn to be more compassionate when encountering someone who has a different skin color, faith, belief or what have you. We need to teach instead of preach—so that the person beside us can pass that compassion, kindness and wisdom onto the next person.
Granted, Mr. Myers probably didn’t think he might be doing anything wrong by helping Beatrice and Melody. It can be argued that Beatrice isn’t old enough to appreciate or understand what he’s done for her—or even care that he went out of his way to get that cart for her. One day, however, Melody will likely tell her this story. Beatrice will one day understand the depth of this man’s gesture of kindness—and maybe will write him a thank-you note for it—but she’ll also understand herself and her cerebral palsy better.
Perhaps she’ll ask the same questions and make the same observations to her mother that I am when I read this story. Things like, “People can already see that I have a disability. I don’t want even more of a stigma or red flag placed on me.” or “How do people really see me?”
She may be confused about the way the world works–or why she’s in a wheelchair, but she will understand the man at the grocery store did what he did because he wanted to make her world a little bit better.
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In essence, he did his part to make the entire world better as a whole. He went beyond himself and not only helped someone in need, but also looked passed the shadow of disability. I think that’s a feat that will always be worthy of praise, even if one has to overcome their own judgements and perceptions at first—or those of others.
At the end of the day, man cannot change himself nor the world if he’s not willing to look beyond himself. So, we must first teach ourselves to step outside of our comfort zone. Take that leap to learn about others without any preconceived motions and simply listen to their stories. If we can achieve true greatness, together.
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Photo Credit: Jenny Sparks/The Loveland Reporter-Herald
I’m a parent of a daughter who has Down syndrome, and i couldn’t agree more. That there are people like Mr. Meyers who will happily go out of their way to accommodate someone/a family, and to give them a way to make their life easier, and it brings a smile to my face and touches my heart. But the ultimate goal is for disability to not be highlighted in the community, but for it to be seen as normal, for it to blend in and flow with typical life. I’m thrilled for the change that has taken place in the… Read more »
An adult’s perspective is very different from that of a child, so it’s hard to say what may have been the most appropriate. The answer likely depends on whose self-image you prioritize: Beatrice’s mother, Beatrice as she is now, Beatrice as she may be later, or that of an “any-child” who may use the cart.
Certainly as she is now, a two-year-old, The odds are good that she would enjoy many or all of those bells and whistles. Same goes for almost every toddler everywhere.