Sometimes you just have to make that turn into the unfamiliar. It might surprise you what you’ll find.
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A while ago, I went for a run.
I was unsure of where I was going.
I happened to be in Phoenix, Arizona visiting my good friend Matt, who gave me some very basic directions to a dirt running trail about a mile away.
1) Travel down the small street just outside of his apartment until I reached the first major road (I wasn’t given the name of the road).
2) Turn left and look for a trail.
That was it, the only instructions I received.
So, I laced up my shoes and took off. I’d find my way, right?
I quickly encountered a major intersection and hesitantly turned left. After all, I wasn’t sure if this was the major road or if another one existed further ahead.
I kept my eyes peeled for a dirt running trail as I passed street after street. About half a mile later I came to another large intersection with a bridge. I peered to my left, and then to my right. There was a dirt trail on both sides.
But was it the dirt trail?
Chances are I was exactly where I was meant to be, yet I was still riddled with uncertainty; fearful I would make the wrong choice.
I crossed the street and then paused. There was a canal with a wide dirt road on one side and a narrower trail on the other. Which one was meant for pedestrians? I didn’t want to haphazardly run down an access road and find myself face to face with a massive utility vehicle and nowhere to go.
I made a choice and stuck to the side I was already on — the wider side. For a solid half mile I kept questioning my decision.
What if I was going the wrong way?
What if this wasn’t the trail Matt was talking about?
What if I was unknowingly trespassing on private property?
Then I interrupted myself.
“Steve, shut the hell up and just enjoy your run.”
Befriending Uncertainty
I was going on a short run for crying out loud. I wasn’t making a life altering decision that would change the fate of the world. Yet indecision was still rearing its ugly head every step of the way.
From time to time I fall back into a shitty habit of overanalyzing every aspect of my life to the point that it bleeds into the simple everyday choices that should take a total of five seconds to decide upon.
I find myself wondering if I’m doing the right thing. If I’m making the right career choices, using the right exercise plan, eating the right foods, so forth and so on.
I keep searching for more.
More answers, more facts, more data so I can weigh the pros and cons before making a final decision. I continually second guess myself because I’m afraid of leaving my comfort zone. I’m scared to enter the realm of the unknown and make friends with uncertainty; it scares the shit out of me at times.
Yet I somehow find myself doing it over and over again.
It’s like driving on the highway at night on the outskirts of a city. We can’t see past what our headlights illuminate, yet we keep cruising along at 75 mph. We have faith that more road exists outside our immediate vision. We trust that whatever danger may lie ahead — car accident, fallen tree, frightened animal — we will be able to react in time and avoid disaster. But there is no way to be absolutely certain.
What if we lived our lives like we were driving at night?
I’ve never had all the answers, or facts, or data. I’ve never been 100% positive that what I’m about to do is the right thing. And yet I’ve made it this far — happy, healthy, surrounded by great people, and doing work I love and am proud of.
Give your brain a rest and stop looking for all the right answers. It will be frightening at first, and probably not work out the way you imagined, but I promise that if you trust yourself, have faith in the unknown, and do everything in your power to move ahead, life will reward you with what you need.
Do all you can, with what you’ve got, from where you are.
– Mike Dooley
I never asked Matt if I had found the right trail; it didn’t matter. Because I had found a trail — one that took me exactly where I needed to go.
Enjoy The Journey
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This article originally appeared on Hobodrifter.
Photo credit: Ahmed Hashim/flickr