Two Dads, Two Daughters, Why the Hate?

Premium Membership, The Good Men Project

About Queerty

Queerty is the #1 gay news and entertainment site in the world.

Comments

  1. C’mon. The hash tag #blackfathers was just looking for attention. They had no intention to give people a look into their daily life, rather stir up some racial tension so they can blast it out to the world.

    • Matt,
      Why does the hashtag bother you? How is it stirring up racial tension?

    • Barbara Rae Young says:

      Declaring yourself doesn’t mean you are asking for trouble. Personally, I think it’s natural, normal and healthy human psychology for people to declare themselves amongst a tirade of naysayers. They are acutely aware of the amount of racism and homophobia that comes with their station in life. This is their way of saying, “I will not bow to your stereotypes. I will not hide to avoid your ridicule.” This forces the hateful people– the racists and the homophobes, to feel uncomfortable. This challenges their hate (and I’m certain it also provokes it).
      This is bravery. This is standing up and not cowering in the face of hate and bigotry.
      If this stirs up racial tension, then it is the fault of the racists, and no one else.

      • Anonymous says:

        Barbara I couldn’t have put it better myself. So many people out there don’t hesitate to declare their negative stance but when someone intentionally puts a positive declaration on a stance often used against them, “they’re looking for trouble”

    • Mairead Reddin says:

      Really Matt? And you have been gifted with the ability to read minds and know another person/s intent? No, thought not, you’re just a twat then? Yep!

    • uzi peretz says:

      I’m still deciding what is worse for humanity…

      1. That your first thought was they’re trying to stir up racial tension by sharing their lives and being positive role models for all men and fathers or;

      2. That you’re right.

    • Well… they are black and they are dads. I didn’t realize that when I described myself as a tall woman that I might be raising gender and height tensions…

    • You can’t be serious?

  2. I’m just impressed they can get their three girls up, dressed, fed, and on the bus in an hour, while recording it for posterity. I’m lucky my kids aren’t in pajamas when they get on the bus.

    • Love your post Mel! It’s exactly what I was thinking too…. How do they get it all done by 6.30am! And I only have two kids. Haha

  3. This is one of the few pix of “guys taking care of their kids” that I actually don’t mind. I agree with what they said, that there aren’t a lot of role models out there for gay black fathers of a bunch of kids. I guess. I don’t know, I really don’t look for them, personally.

    What irritates me, are the single dads (gay or not) who constantly post “putting the little tyke to bed”….”making dinner for me & my son”….”driving my son to school”….all that stuff that, you know, if I as a single mom posted that, people would be like, wtf are you posting that for? Did you also brush your teeth & eat breakfast? really? When women post it, it’s baggage. When men post it, it’s like they’re some kind of hero? Pfft say moms who do it every day as part of LIFE & get over yourself.

    • Huh. I see moms–single, married, gay, straight, otherwise, or undefined–posting about those things all – the – time. We must be on two completely different but intersecting Internets. And if you don’t want to look at men taking care of their children, you can always just, y’know, click on the little close window button.

    • That is actually equally annoying from both moms and dads. I dont wanna know every last detail in anyones life, not even my own. People nowadays are looking for too much attention with all these social media sites. I can visit my facebook page and in 5 minutes i know what all my friends, relatives and random people i have never heard of ate for lunch, if and what movies/series they are going to watch later, if they got the sniffles or anythings thats not remotly interesting for anyone else. I dont care if its a man or woman, that is not interesting… ever. If a friend got cancer, okey i would want to know that but i rather get that info by phone and not from facebook.

      Anyway, this fell of topic and i wish to send my condolences (dont know the spelling) to the couple and i hope that people get there shit together soon so that men and woman of any race or sexuallity can live their life without persecution (unsure on the spelling here also, give me a break it´s not my native tongue)

      /Irrbloss

    • So, are you angry says:

      So, youre angry at the men posting those things or are you angry at the responses?

  4. Well done to all parents. Parenting is a hard job. Being gay is not a problem just as long as they bring up their children well.im sure that they are doing a much better job than some straight parents.

  5. Maegan Heise says:

    I can’t believe people are offended by the hashtag black fathers. Why do you hate black fathers? Do you think black children come from colorful eggs, Matt?

    • Theorema Egregium says:

      I don’t get it anyway … maybe I am blind, but to me only one of the guys is black.

      • trickyturtle says:

        To avoid racism, we stopped calling people black based on the color of their skin. Now it’s based on whether they eat cold eels and think distant thoughts.

      • Yes !! You must be completely blind !! Are you freakin Joking !
        Let me enlighten you a bit …. There are many shades of “black” Just like there are shades of white !!
        C’mon , really ??

  6. Why is this even a story? It shouldn’t be shocking that men can care for their children. It shouldn’t be shocking this picture happens to be 2 gay black men. Turns out that, much to the dismay of the conservatives who wish to say gayness destroys family values, gay people can make either good or bad parents, just like straight people, and that sexual orientation plays about as much a part in it as skin colour.

    And don’t even get me started on the fact it’s two black men. Are they black? That’s great. Why is this even a part of the conversation? Suddenly race plays a part in parenting too? The only role your skin colour plays in parenting is the skin colour your children will have also.

    • JustMyThoughts says:

      It’s a part of the conversation because the owners of these photos MADE it part of the conversation by using hash tags saying so.
      Anywho, I think it’s great when any father (black-white-gay-straight-single-married-partnered) takes such an active role in carrying for their children. This country has been suffering from the lack of actual parenting, by either parent, for a long time. Hopefully these guys will be an inspiration to other parents to step up and be the kind of parent every child deserves. It’s always great to see a strong ‘family’ unit.

  7. All I can say is, how ironic that it’s the bald guy that is doing his daughter’s hair. :P

  8. I love seeing pictures of men who are enthusiastic about parenting! It’s beautiful that more and more men are stepping into nurturing roles with their children. It doesn’t matter what sexual orientation or color you are. It bodes well for the next generation that men are starting to happily embrace a level of parenting that traditionally fell to women. More engaged parents means happy kids. This is a GOOD thing. I’m happy to see more of this on the Internet :)

  9. I think we have a ways to go not only with same sex couple but men being viewed as the “less important” or even the less directly involved parent. Race also is a factor as well. I would hope we have evolved to a point where a great majority of people support healthy representations of “family”. Cute photo!

  10. Losmocheryl says:

    I think its awsome. Black ,white,oriental, or whatever. They are loving parents. It doesnt matter that they are gay, it just matters that they are awsome parents.

  11. Beautiful! :)

  12. E Unibus Pluram says:

    Great job dads. Love transcends any demographic barrier. Being a wonderful parent transcends any sexual orientation too.

  13. Katherine says:

    It shouldn’t matter what sexual preference these men have and it is embarrassing that people are even binging up the color of these men’s skin when commenting on their photos!
    I say way to go dads and keep enjoying every minute easing your beautiful daughters! I think there are a lot of people out there who do support you and she on all the others!!

  14. Jimbo Jones Johnson says:

    Ugh…disgusting…this is what America has become now…a cesspool of depravity…

  15. Hi.
    i’m Helen and studing sociology in México, i’m do a investigation about gay couples with childrens, and i want to know if someone can give me their twitter please.

  16. Love is beautiful, these kids will love their dads and feel the safety net that only comes from the routine and stability of two loving parents. Anyone hating on this, has some deep darkness inside them. :)

    • I agree that it’s insane to spew hate based on this photo.

      By the same token, isn’t it a bit of a stretch to extrapolate from one photo and one tweet? Do we really know that those particular dads provide a routine and stability? There’s no extra reason to doubt based on their race or gender or sexual orientation, but we also can’t assume based on one captioned picture.

  17. This is a startling photo and I love it. These simple hastags are important. The predominant stereotype of black fathers is that their missing and these men are clearly aware of that want wish to prove it wrong. Furthermore, how often are African Americans represented in the coverage of the gay rights debates? Rarely. Again, an important mention. Finally, why not be proud of partnering up to raise your children the way you want to?

    These men are declaring a position in response to and in contradiction of dominant social perceptions. Good for them.

  18. wellokaythen says:

    What a lot of white folks don’t know about is how big an issue a black girl’s hair is, both for her and her parents. There’s this whole political, racial, cultural can of worms about how to shape your hair, on a level way beyond what most white girls worry about. (See, I’ve read bell hooks.) My impression is that getting the hair done for those girls in the picture is a little more work than if they had straight hair. That’s part of what the big deal is in showing the photo. Parents of straight-haired children may not see the big deal.

    In any event, ideally the photo should get no big response at all beyond the people who know them. It shouldn’t matter that they’re a same-sex couple. By the same token, it’s also a little condescending to praise them too much, as if it’s inconceivable that men could actually parent on a daily basis. Let’s tone down the shock value on all sides.

  19. Lots of people jumping to conclusions based on one photo, people from all across the political spectrum.

    They aren’t automatically bad parents because they’re gay, or black, or men. That’s absurd. Maybe in real life they’re actually bad parents, maybe they aren’t.

    They aren’t automatically good parents just because there’s a photo of them doing hair. That’s absurd. Maybe this is representative of how they parent, maybe it isn’t.

    One photo of one moment. One data point. Hardly evidence of anything.

  20. The world is full of sperm donors who impregnate women & leave them fatherless when they move on to the next one.
    As a straight white man I see this as a positive as there are far too many fatherless kids out there with no positive male role models these are 2 men first & foremost who are being fathers to 2 girls. Yes in my opinion 1 mother & 1 father is the ideal but having both if they are idiots is worse than having one or neither.. If these 2 men gay or straight are being good fahters I don’t care that they share the a bed. Firstly be a good father. I would bet that many men on here have at least one kid they have almost nothing to do with because of a relationship breakdown. I think jesus once said remove the log from your own eye first then you will see cleary to remove the splinter from your fellowmans. Very good advice. Maybe we should all listen whether gay, straight, Christian,Muslim or atheist.

  21. Seriously, I don’t know why the hashtags were even necessary.
    They seem to be good parents but I don’t understand why we would even bring up race or the fact that they are gay. Does it really matter? Before that I was a firm believer that good parenting had nothing to do with race or sex. I still do. But it irks me that people nowadays get judged for that instead of how they act. People are so obsessed about race.

  22. I think these guys are awesome!!and WHAT DOES COLOUR have to do with it!! They have children they love cherish and nurture probably better than a lot of heterosexual couples!!! And no I am not gay, my daughter is and she would love the opportunity to have her own children,alas due to health reasons she can’t! You guys are awesome and those girls are lucky to have two loving parents :-)

  23. To answer this question: “Are we sheltered from black gay couples that the general public doesn’t think they exist?”

    Yes. Yes, we are, in many places. And that’s why photos like this are important and powerful. They expose people to things they maybe haven’t seen before. Photos like this have power b/c they can visually counter some of the stereotypes that some people have regarding men, black men, gay men. Photos like these provide evidence that gay or straight, black or white, our daily lives are not so different.

    • wellokaythen says:

      I doubt there are many people who think “black gay couples with children don’t exist.” I doubt there’s an active media conspiracy to pretend they don’t exist or to prevent the public from being exposed to such an idea.

      One factor is just plain rarity. African Americans are 15% of the U.S. population. Roughly half of them are male. 5% of those black men are gay, and not all of those gay men are in long-term relationships, and not all of those same-sex relationships are between two black men, and a fraction of those in long-term relationships are raising children. So, we’re looking at, what, 0.1% of the whole American population?

      (It’s a shame that it’s partly an enforced rarity because there are still barriers to gay couples adopting kids. It should not be as rare as it is.)

Speak Your Mind