How to spot signs of premeditation and what to do as a bystander when you suspect violent intentions?
I was napping this afternoon waiting for my kids to come home from school, just a quick cat nap, so like a good social media addict I had checked Facebook before I went to sleep and I reached for my phone when I woke up. I wasn’t gone long. I woke up to this, along with the horrific video and the sick knots in my stomach, the not again, the anger and helplessness, the why? When will this end? Why can’t we make it stop? Why can’t we talk about the real issues, gun control? Safety for those at risk of violent behavior. Why? Why again? And why didn’t anyone know or do something about it. Before it happened?
(CNN)[Breaking news, posted at 3:53 p.m. ET]
Investigators are examining social media postings made by a man, thought to be in his late 20s, who they believe is the suspect in Thursday’s shootings at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, Oregon, a source with knowledge of the investigation told CNN. The night before the attack, the alleged shooter appears to have had a conversation with others online about his intentions, the source said.
The alleged shooter was conversing online about his intentions. This is not the first time we have heard this. Shared premeditation. Do we not, as a society have a responsibility to do something about these public missives? Is there not some level of bystander intervention that could have prevented this incident and/or those in the past, and most importantly, future events? We must step up so that instead of hearing “he was talking about something like this” as we watch families keen in agony over lost loved ones, we hear “I’m calling in a warning, this person is writing scary things online. These are threats.”
That’s what needs to happen. And I am not talking just about this particular shooting. Change this damn narrative. Call in a warning. Get to the person, call the police, call their doctor. It depends on your relationship with the person whether it’s law enforcement or it’s their mental health professional or their parents. If it’s your child, get in touch with them at college if they have been hard to reach, or the administration. You hide the prescrition drugs, or you make sure they are being taken, again depending on the situation.
We need to stop reacting and be proactive. If you see a Facebook post, or a tweet or an email that hints at such behavior or if you know your friend or child or spouse is thinking violent thoughts and is amassing weapons or is thinking of doing so or has been isolating or unresponsive to communication or otherwise acting in an unusual manner, don’t wait, and then say, “Oh, that might have been coming.” Do. Not. Wait.
They may be suicidal, they may be homicidal, they may simply be hurting and need you. Please, stop ignoring these cries for help or people will continue to die. It’s that damn simple. Again, lock up your guns, if you must have them. Lock up your prescription medications, or, if needed them for mental stability, make sure your son or daughter or spouse or uncle or roomate takes them. Pay attention to your people. Pay attention to your people or many, many others will continue to die.
Just as we have suicide hotlines for those who are thinking of harming themselves, we need to think about those who are thinking of harming others. Call 911, reach out for professional help.
If you see something or if you hear something or if you have a reasonable suspicion of something, say something. Wouldn’t you rather be wrong than wake up from an hour nap to find yet another campus shooting, ten more dead, more wounded and the count growing? Once it has happened, it’s too late.
See something. Hear something. Say Something. It’s everyone’s problem and we can all be part of the solution.
Our hearts go out to the families and loved ones in Oregon involved in this latest tragedy, and to the first responders. We are thinking of you and we are standing with you.
Photo Credit: Getty Images
I used to be so surprised when some heinous thing was done and people who knew the perpetrator were shocked. I used to wonder, wasn’t there some clue? Didn’t you notice anything amiss? Now, though, I’m never surprised when bad things happen and people say oh, yeah, I knew that guy was going to do something. Really? And you said nothing? Did nothing? I know there’s this whole hands off others’ lives thing happening (which seems weird in today’s social-dominant atmosphere; maybe it’s that it’s all online?) but it has to stop. It has to. (I had a friend ask… Read more »
Jenny, thanks for raising these issues. This is a complex problem with multiple ways to change things for the better. I have worked with violent youth and adults for more than 40 years. Here are some of the things I’ve learned: 1. These kinds of mass shootings are almost all done by males. If we want to lower violence rates we need to focus on the needs of boys and young men, as a group, as well as those who are disconnected. 2. Every act of violence I know about has been engaged in by a person who was abused,… Read more »
leia. You son will be surrounded by unarmed people. Which seems to be the problem. When a shooter goes into a gun-free zone (SHOOT HERE! NOBODY WILL BOTHER YOU FOR A QUARTER OF AN HOUR), somebody calls for the cops to show up and bring guns. Trained folks carrying legally have a lower crime rate than cops. Also spend more time on the ange. But guns are icky and stuff. Bball. I’ve seen reports that some of the reduction in murder rates is due to vastly improved emergency medicine. IOW, a shooting that, fifty years ago, resulted in a death… Read more »
The pre-shooting postings on 4chan were shocking…it is truly sad that such trolls could be sympathetic of a mass killer….What is wrong with such people? What is missing deep down? Is rage and violence the only acceptable emotions for such people? Did they grow up with an absence of empathy and compassion? The Santa Barbara shooter, Elliot Rodger, truly unnerved me….his manifesto was so lengthy and detailed….he was lonely and anguished and decided to take it out on all the people he resented…one of his victims was the son of a close relative’s co-worker…. it all makes me afraid to… Read more »
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2013/05/07/gun-homicide-rate-down-49-since-1993-peak-public-unaware/
Truly a sad story/event. “mental health” is not being addressed especially for men.