Whatever the label has come to suggest to some people, Travis Ketzak is clear about why he’s always been one.
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Feminism can be a controversial subject, I don’t know why. It is probably because people bought into incorrect definitions for labels they didn’t fully understand.
Being a feminist means you respect women in the same way that you respect men. It means that nobody is on a pedestal, and everybody is equal.
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Somehow, somewhere along the line, being a feminist turned into being against men. That shift most likely stemmed from insecurity. Men who didn’t truly understand the term feminism feared that it would lead to oppression.
Being a feminist doesn’t mean you are against men at all. There are many different meanings to the term, and everyone uses a different definition. To me, however, it is quite simple. Being a feminist means you respect women in the same way that you respect men. It means that nobody is on a pedestal, and everybody is equal.
It means that women deserve the same opportunities as men. They deserve to make the same amount of money for doing the same job as men. They deserve to have the same rights to do with their body as they please, just as men have. They deserve all that men have; no more and no less.
If a woman wants to be a stay at home mom, then she is free to do so. If she wants to be the CEO of a major corporation, then nothing should stand in her way.
I am in a committed relationship with a career-oriented woman, and it has taught me a lot. I have seen her excel past many people, both men and women, in her career. She doesn’t excel because of some preexisting condition, she excels because she is excellent at what she does. That is all that matters, and that is all that should matter.
I wouldn’t want something to keep her from achieving her goals just because of her gender. I wouldn’t want that for any of the women in my life; my sister, my mother, more distant relatives, or even my possible future daughter.
Being a feminist is about breaking down barriers and shifting paradigms. It is about changing the way we think about society. It is about simplifying.
It is engrained in our minds to view men and women differently. It is something that we often can’t even help. However, it makes more sense to view men and women equally. Humans are the only creatures that create such social barriers, which means it isn’t a natural mindset.
I didn’t become a feminist. I realized one day that I had always been one.
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It is common to assume that girls can’t do things that men can do. That is why doing something like a girl is a thing. When you do something like a girl, it typically means that you are doing it incorrectly or inadequately.
For example, when somebody runs like a girl, it typically means that they are slow and dainty. However, women run in the same way that men do. Women train, practice, and improve their skill just as men do.
Throwing like a girl is another common insult. It typically refers to a man having a weak arm and not being able to throw very far or powerfully. However, I went to high school with a girl who is on her way to being a professional softball player. Meanwhile none of the men I attended classes with have excelled athletically in any notable way at all (myself proudly included).
It is important to note that, biologically, men are typically built bigger and stronger than women. That is not sexist, it’s science. However, that does not mean that women are incapable of anything that men are capable of.
To me, being a feminist is about respect, equality, and recognition.
I didn’t become a feminist. I realized one day that I had always been one. I proudly hold that label high. Historically, social gaps have plagued society. They have been a source of oppression. These gaps have existed religiously, racially, and culturally, gender is only one example. I am proud to be part of the destruction of those gaps. Equality wasn’t the past, and it may still not be the present, but it is undeniably the future.
We are on our way to a society that respects all people equally. There is still a lot of work to be done, but the work will be worth it in the end.
Hi Travis – what fascinates me about this specific label is the level of evangelizing that is pushed by its proponents. I’ve seen many articles and opinions by folks like you who go out of their way to “market” the label, justifying the label, and protecting its general mass appeal. Many of the memes used during the process of evangelizing are, to put it bluntly, trite and apple pie. Feminism is a political system at the trite level – “if you believe that women are humans, then you are a feminist”, and if you’re not, then you believe that women… Read more »
@ Danny @ Travis Danny Said “The problem isn’t that there are people that hate feminism or hate feminists or think that feminists hate men. Sure those people exist but they aren’t the core of the problem.” Travis Said “If you believe in all of the things I mentioned, chances are, you’re a feminist.” I think there is a huge thing you guys are missing. There is a whole lot of stuff that goes into feminist theory besides believing in “equality”. I can support equality, but not believe in the concept of privilege or I could believe in a different… Read more »
John said: I think there is a huge thing you guys are missing. There is a whole lot of stuff that goes into feminist theory besides believing in “equality”. I can support equality, but not believe in the concept of privilege or I could believe in a different concept of privilege. One that recognizes female privilege or that privilege is situational and the hierarchy of privilege set up by feminists isn’t static, but realigned based on situation. I could believe that there are societal forces (sociologists used to call those norms) that drive us to certain decisions and behaviors without… Read more »
Somehow, somewhere along the line, being a feminist turned into being against men. That shift most likely stemmed from insecurity. Men who didn’t truly understand the term feminism feared that it would lead to oppression. Its almost like when people explain why they are not feminists the people listening just turn off their hearing or something. I know you want the answer to be insecurity from men but have you by chance looked into feminists themselves being part of the reason why people are not feminists? Would you be willing to believe that wanting equality for all people is only… Read more »
It is very possible to believe in these values without identifying as a feminist. However I do believe that it stops at your own personal identification. If you believe in all of the things I mentioned, chances are, you’re a feminist. I’m not trying to start an argument, I respect your own ideas and the way you identify yourself. However I have to wonder what your hesitancy is with the label. I don’t know when we became so agains labels. Is it really that bad to have a word that identifies you? Especially when you already meet the requirements for… Read more »
Yeah arguing is pointless. I’m not trying to start an argument, I respect your own ideas and the way you identify yourself. However I have to wonder what your hesitancy is with the label. Oh no need to wonder I’ll tell you. In my experience the feminists I’ve dealt with have quite literally been worse than any system they claim to be fighting again. Even stooping so low as to exploit said system when it suits them but then condemn it when it hurts them. And frankly the hypocrisy was at a level that stunned me. Its not hesitation. Its… Read more »
I could say that you are an MRA since being an MRA means you believe in equality between the sexes, not favoritism of one over the other. Most MRAs would agree with the points you made in your article. Are you hesitant to take on that label? If so, why?
Well put, sir.
I would only say to be very conservative and restrained with the collective attributions and the latitude of subjective perspectives: I would steer away from phrases like “feminism is” and more towards “my experience with feminism is” or “feminism should be” or “can be” – some of the things you say feminism “is” it isn’t. That is, both feminists and non-feminists may have very different subjective, and equally valid opinions. Both within and without, there are very divergent experiences and interpretations of feminism and feminist ideologies, philosophies & tenets, and their expressions & manifestations. As well there are broader and… Read more »
I wasn’t trying to tell people what all feminists are. I understand that it is impossible to define the entire community as a whole, because each person will think differently. This article was about what it means to me, hence the title.
I agree, and I thought that came across most above all- I think you went to great length & focus to qualify your perspectives & position; that’s always very appreciated.
Sorry but I don’t support it 100%
You keep saying this:
“Being a feminist is about respect, equality, and recognition.”
Fine and dandy. But it’s only for women.
When it comes to men…well…
I’ve discovered too many inconsistencies and horrendous mistakes. If you’d like for me to list them, let me know. I don’t want to spend too much time on a long post.
Suffice to say, what something MEANS is no longer relevant compared to what it DOES.
Honestly, yes, I would be interested to hear what inconsistencies and mistakes you’ve experienced regarding men’s rights. I have seen many inconsistencies and mistakes in women’s rights as well, and I would be interested to compare them and see your side of the discussion.
“Honestly, yes, I would be interested to hear what inconsistencies and mistakes you’ve experienced regarding men’s rights. I have seen many inconsistencies and mistakes in women’s rights as well, and I would be interested to compare them and see your side of the discussion.” I was talking about feminism. Not Men’s Rights. In relation to feminism: Where shall I begin? 1) The Duluth Model of Domestic Violence This was introduced as a tool by a feminist, advocated for by feminists, as a means to combat Domestic Violence. It basically names the man as the primary aggressor in a relationship and… Read more »
@ Eagle35 The Duluth model was introduced because because feminists were under the mistaken belief that it was apathetic policing that accounted for the low arrest rate of men for DV. When mandatory arrests were pushed in California in the 1980s, more women were arrested for DV than men. That wasn’t the feminists goal. It was to increase the arrests of men so the Duluth model was introduced to excuse female perpetrated DV. Yes, about 50% of the time in reciprocal DV the woman is simply defending herself, but the other 50% it’s the man. The issue with the Duluth… Read more »
“The Duluth model was introduced because because feminists were under the mistaken belief–”
If it were such a mistaken belife, why didn’t any feminist speak out against it? Why when non-feminists did they were ostracized and verbally abused?
@ Eagle35 “If it were such a mistaken belife, why didn’t any feminist speak out against it? Why when non-feminists did they were ostracized and verbally abused?” You misunderstand me. Feminists realized that there was a lot more DV going on than was being reflected by police arrests. They were correct. They assumed that it was because the police were indifferent so they pushed mandatory arrests. They were mistaken. Many times there was reciprocal DV so the officer had the option to arrest no one, one party, or both people. They understandably had an issue with arresting only one person… Read more »
“Men who didn’t truly understand the term feminism feared that it would lead to oppression.” It’s stems from insecurity, but not the insecurity of men. Look at one of the bigger disagreements between feminists and the MRM, joint parenting. The MRM believes that joint parenting should be the default. Each parents has an equal say on the way a child is raised, has equal access to a child’s medical records, etc. and any departures from shared parenting need to be adjudicated by the court Makes sense from an equality standpoint so why are most mainstream feminists against it? Feminists have… Read more »
While I do believe in evidence being required to prove a crime, partner abuse is a very difficult area. While physical abuse may sometimes be easy to prove, emotional abuse is much more complicated and unfortunately much more common. On the contrary, I am not sure if the requirement of proof should be completely omitted either. Honestly, this is a subject that I am not entirely sure of. I do believe that women have some advantages in custody battles. It is much more likely for a woman to win over a man, statistically. I believe that comes from generations of… Read more »
I guess the point is that equality is on a spectrum like gender. Add to that an imperfect society and at times an imperfect solution and where do you err? Many of the things the MRM advocate is not 100% 50/50 right down the middle fair either like the legal abortion. It doesn’t take into account that women bear the medical risks associated with child birth or abortion. Maybe a legal abortion with a one time standard buy out of a few thousand dollars. Equality isn’t always going to be clear. There will always be those who abuse the system… Read more »