Paul Hudson shares the seven things women are looking for from men in relationships.
—
If you could wanted to make a list of seven things women are looking for from guys, what would those seven things be? The good thing about this particular list is that these are qualities of which every man is capable. These seven things are not out of any man’s reach. Here are the seven things that I have found to be true in my experience.
1. Honesty – but not too much of it.
A woman doesn’t want a man to lie to her about important matters. She wants to be an important part of his life – the most important part, in fact. She wants to know the things that are going on his life and she wants him to have trust in her. As far as she is concerned, they are one – his life is her life.
She wants him to want to share in his pleasant experiences and memories. She also doesn’t want him to feel that he has to lie, because when that is the case it usually means that he was stepping out of line, making poor choices and mistakes. On the other hand, she doesn’t want the truth in all circumstances. Brutal honesty isn’t wanted.
If she asks, she looks great, she looks beautiful, the fact she gained 15 pounds doesn’t bother you, her new haircut makes her look even cuter. Now that I think about it, the only thing you should really lie is about such shallow matters as appearances. We all look like sh*t sometimes – but she doesn’t need to hear you say it.
2. Understanding – so that she doesn’t feel the need to have to explain herself.
She wants you to know her – inside and out. Why? Because only then will you love her for her. We all sometimes need confirmation that we’re worth loving. The real us – not the people others perceive us to be. We may not all need such a confirmation of our value, but we all want it. But it’s more than just that.
Having someone understand you is having someone completely know you for the person that you really are. There’s no confusion, there’s no misunderstanding or misconception. They know you for you and because they know you for the person you really are, you, in a sense, exist outside of yourself. As long as they live on, so do you.
3. Caring – she needs to know she matters to you.
To be cared for means not to be alone in this life. Most people are forced to care for themselves and the truth is that it’s a lot more difficult than people let on. As human beings, we aren’t always in the right mindset to care for ourselves. To top it off, that’s usually exactly when we need the most caring – when we aren’t mentally or physically capable of doing it ourselves.
She wants you to be there for her when she needs someone, to be there to share her burden. I know it sounds ridiculous, but she wants you to make her life a little easier. Craziness – I know. On the upside, she’ll be there for you when no one else will. Fair enough tradeoff I think.
4. Strength – both mental and physical.
No woman wants a physical weakling – it’s against her nature. That doesn’t mean she won’t settle for slightly less than Herculean, but you’re a man dammit. She wants to feel that when she’s in your presence. She wants you to be intelligent and to practice self-control simply because you can.
We’re all still animals and women will always be attracted to the stronger men. She wants you to be strong not for the sake of being strong – she wants you to be strong for her. It brings her pleasure, makes her feel safe and turns her on. Do you honestly need more convincing?
5. Compassion – shows her you’re capable of loving.
A woman doesn’t only want a man to have love only for her, but a love for life, for living things. She wants a kind man, a man whom others will look up to, appreciate and admire. She wants a good man.
She doesn’t see being good and compassionate as a weakness. And that’s because it’s not. I know lots of men are taught that to be strong you have to be hateful, spiteful and malicious. That’s very unfortunate, but it’s simply the world we live in. She doesn’t need that. You don’t need that either. No one does.
6. Security – financial and literal.
You don’t need to be a millionaire. Well, for some women, you very well may need to be, but hopefully you’ll only end up with one who admires the traits required for turning oneself into a millionaire and not the money alone. Generally speaking, the right woman will love you for you, but she does need you to make her feel secure.
She wants to feel that you will protect her from physical harm. She wants to know that you’ll keep her safe, healthy and comfortable. Does she need you to keep her safe? To bring home the bread? No. But she’d like you to be capable of it – even if her salary is bigger than yours. She’ll have your back too so you can rest easier as well.
7. Blind Loyalty – she wants to be the only woman he has eyes for.
We all have big egos – men and women alike. We want to feel special. We want to feel unique and better than the rest. We’re competitive by nature and there is no getting around it. Women want a man who sees the world in her. Her and only her.
She knows she’s not the most beautiful or smartest woman in the world, but she doesn’t need to be – she’s not delusional. She just wants you to think – know – that she’s the most beautiful, best woman in the world for you.
She needs you to think she is the best thing that ever happened to you. She wants to be the best and she wants a man who will allot her that title.
Originally appeared at Elite Daily
Photo Elite Daily
About the author: A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. Currently located in Manhattan, Paul Hudson primarily devotes his time between writing for Elite Daily and the two entrepreneurial endeavors he is currently pursuing: a mining company in Turkey and a video content platform called lilHub. He loves sharing his life experiences with his readers and makes sure to practice what he preaches.
As a woman, I agree with this article 110%. A wise man will read it and appreciate it. The not-so-wise will just criticize, post comments to support that criticism and walk away, learning nothing from it – Only to find himself standing in front of a judge 7-10 years down the road wondering why his spouse is asking for a divorce. Completely dumbfounded. Go on, keep complaining. Women hear you loud and clear… but a wise woman will walk away before you have a chance to fool her twice.
Good Men really needs to bring some consistency here. They’ve had so many articles that seem to contradict each other, this included. If we’re supposed to be building better men, how are we going to do it if every other article sends an opposing message? Yes, you should try to take care of yourself, but no physical strength is not a deal breaker – we’re just animals?? C’mon. Also what about women who want to or are able to provide? For many relationships now the roles are reversed, she doesn’t need you to take care of her, she can do… Read more »
What makes you think that women want to be monogamous? This keeps coming up as an issue. No women don’t always want that. We are thought we should want that but it is often men who are obsessed with it. chill on this, or your project will fail. 😉
there are two types of people:
1. People who prefer exploring all aspects of their sexuality in the security of a committed monogamous relationship and for whom mere sport fekking is completely unfulfilling.
2. Sport fekkers who are aroused by mere variety and simple athleticism (boring purely physical sex)
Folks in group 1 get ZERO satisfaction from having boring, purely physical, emotionally unfulfilling sex with folks from group 2 and would do well to identify them early in order to avoid them.
Folks from group 2 are too simple-minded and shallow to notice what they are missing.
?
A-Men!
Bad article. Backward thinking and sounds worse than Cosmo. I shan’t be visiting Elite Daily anytime soon.
This list loses me at number 1. Honesty in all circumstances except for shallow stuff such as looks? If you don’t fins your partner attractive why are you with them? Whether they gained 15 pounds or not? It shouldn’t matter to you if you really care. As to questions “Do I look good in this dress?” Why wouldn’t you answer honestly if she is asking honestly? It’s very possible that the dress doesn’t bring out her best features, and she might want to know that….
This article forgot “do not pee on her head while she’s sleeping” and “don’t hit her little toe with a tack hammer”.
Come on.
A more obvious and uninsightful article has not been written since the warning on the subway escalator advising you not to braid your hair into the moving stairs.
He might as well have said women want a man who is an appliance, ATM and unpaid bodyguard in one.
And men are supposed to be the shallow ones?
Are you saying men aren’t shallow?
Never said they weren’t, just that women are no better. That is a lie we need to get rid of.
Women can be very shallow.
I think that this author is kind of shallow and on the one hand, he said that men have to pretend to still want and love a woman even if she is heavyset and doesn’t look pretty but women can say they don’t want a man they deem a weakling. How weird and what a double standard. Why can women be shallow when judging men but men can’t be when judging women?
I think this list is shallow and lame. The key concepts aren’t bad. But the way the author chooses to articulate them are kind of heinous.
Typical, hypocritical white knight schtick. Let’s compare this sentence: If she asks, she looks great, she looks beautiful, the fact she gained 15 pounds doesn’t bother you, her new haircut makes her look even cuter. – See more at: https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/what-women-really-want-7-things-every-guy-can-do-to-be-perfect-for-her-grgs/#sthash.fruaadWZ.dpuf To this passage: No woman wants a physical weakling – it’s against her nature. That doesn’t mean she won’t settle for slightly less than Herculean, but you’re a man dammit. She wants to feel that when she’s in your presence. She wants you to be intelligent and to practice self-control simply because you can. We’re all still animals and women… Read more »
Noooo. This is such a typical whiny MRA type response. It’s not about looks. It’s about the need to feel safe. Men need to feel safe also, just in a different way. Men ARE typically more superficial than women with very unrealistic beauty standards of literal perfection that does not exist. You cannot compare that to a woman needing a man be be ABLE to look out for her. Not being a body builder here, or a model. That’s not what it means at all.
That’s my take. According to women, we must accept women exactly as they are and dare not judge, we must also strive to live up to their standards.
I cannot abide by that sense of superiority which is so ingrained that women are completely blind to it.
I just had an epiphany: I was ready to blow my top about some aspects of this list; I mean “No woman wants a physical weakling – it’s against her nature. … women will always be attracted to the stronger men.”, seriously? But then I realized that the reason I ever get angry by lists like that is because of the reflex to see them as disjoint from the expectations on women. Meaning, I instinctively tend to view items such as these as something either the man will bring to a relationship or the woman. Naturally this produces resentment. I… Read more »
@ Theorema Egregium
I think your instincts were good when it comes to physical weakness. What about the disabled? Could they never be perfect for her? I get that there are levels of imperfection. There are deal breakers and there are preferences. I get that this is what the author believe that women want and women have the right to want and to seek what they desire. It still feels wrong.
Brilliant realization. It’s difficult to separate the greater discussion from personal feelings and perceptions. Is the author speaking for all hetero women? Is she stating what women want, or what women think they deserve? And, like you noted, is she saying that these are only traits that women should look for in men, and not the other way around?