Ged Gillmore is angry about the new frontier in the battle against sexism.
—
What is Your Son Learning About Being a Man?
I’m fed up with hearing otherwise serious people on otherwise serious media channels make negative generalisations about half the people on the planet. Next time you hear any public figures saying ‘Well, ha, men! What do you expect?’ or ‘It takes a woman to fix the mess men make’, imagine them switching the genders on that comment and consider the reaction they would get.
‘Diversity is all about inclusion,’ she said, ‘not exclusion’.
|
The worst place for this is advertising. I’ve lost count of the number of TV ads I’ve seen where men are portrayed as stupid. I call them ‘dumb dad-verts’, because mostly the idiot-schmuck is the father of the house. Presumably he can hold down a job and count to ten, but he doesn’t actually know how anything works and can barely struggle even to entertain the kids until – ta da! – mum makes it home, rolls her eyes, gives a knowing wink to the audience/children/female friend and saves Dad’s ass. It makes my blood boil. And yes, I do know the advertising industry’s negative stereotypes were pointed the other way for two hundred years, but how does that make it acceptable?
◊♦◊
I went to a workplace diversity confrerence recently and was delighted to see on the stage advocates for all the under-represented groups in senior management. Women, gays, the disabled, non-whites, over 50’s – it was a great initiative to increase the representation of these groups in the upper echelons. But each delegate was speaking very much to their own audience, so I stuck up my hand and asked what advice the panellists had for the majority of the audience who were (as far as I could tell) white, hetero, able-bodied, under-50 men. I was expecting some advice on how to ensure we’re all equal now and a reminder of how we all benefit from a fairer workplace. Wrong. ‘You’ve had your time in the sun’ were the words used by the delegate representing the promotion of women into senior ranks (I kid you not, she really said this) and the other delegates made wishy washy noises around the same theme. It took the external diversity expert to bring sense to the proceedings. ‘Diversity is all about inclusion,’ she said, ‘not exclusion’.
Because when did it become cool to be dumb?
|
The brand of feminism I was brought up to believe in was also about inclusion, about removing prejudices against women, about giving girls the confidence to believe they had as much right and as much chance of being an astronaut, president, business leader, or mechanic as anyone else. It was not about switching this prejudice and putting down boys instead. Because let’s be in no doubt about this. Every time someone on public media, or in an advert, a film or a joke, portrays men as stupid, somewhere some little boy is learning that this is true.
◊♦◊
Men are equally to blame here.
Because when did it become cool to be dumb? To act as if we don’t ever have to grow up and take responsibility for things? To stop reading books and to take pride in our ignorance of anything other than sport or video games? Is this really what we should teach the next generation that men are best suited for? Man up, men. It’s not enough to tell your sons that women are smart, resourceful, capable and worthy of respect. You need to teach them men are too.
So, make a noise when anyone says anything different.
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?
Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
—
Photo: Getty Images
Just heard a radio commercial for Just For Men grey hair colouring. Most sexist thing I’d heard in ages. The premise was men don’t want to go to the ‘dreaded salon’ to get their hair dyed like their wives, they’d rather something quick and easy so they can get back down the pub drinking beer – suggesting men are both impatient and eschewing the whole ‘being pampered’ connotation of going to the salon. Most men I know go to salons rather than barbers, I wasn’t aware it was still social taboo in 2017, but there you go.
I’m a teenage girl and I’m constantly getting pressured by my friends into womens rights and how I’m disgusting if I say anything against it. What I hate is that if a man said something as simple as “she’s attractive,” or whistled he would be called sexist but you see all the time on TV when women can go over and get flustered over an attractive guy and go over and ask to squeeze his muscles, and make faces, and that’s absolutely fine. It’s literally exactly the same thing. Society should be worried about how people my age are being… Read more »
It’s not ‘being sexist against men’. It’s just sexist. Feminism is not about empowering women but taking down gender roles. It’s the women’s job to take care of the house because she is innately good at it and the man is innately bad. This is sexist and harmful towards both genders and is the kind of thing most feminist movements wish is would stop. However, as much as all sexism is bad, sexism against white cis men is less concerning because it’s not been used throughout history and still today to systemically oppress this group of people. For women, and… Read more »
Jesus. Ya gotta wonder at the limited mindset of folks like chrysm. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. So 1970’s. What like 40 flippin years ago??? Man. I might as well be talking about the 1930’s. Fricking grow up. Good comments Danny and 8ball. Are we done with this nonsense or doomed to perpetual idiocy? My bet the latter not the former.
Frank. Point is who’s taking a lesson from this? Kids. Who’s paying for this? Women, through their purchasing choices. That’s nice to know.
I have no problem laughing at myself . Let’s not talk about sexism. How about we talk about how we have become a society of over sensitive creampuffs. You can’t make a joke about anything anymore. Your blood boils when you see a commercial of a dad messing up a dinner or laundry? People have way too much time on their hands to sit around and think about their feelings.
Ged. As to The Hangover: Are you referring to the movie? I recall Laurel and Hardy being kind of dumb, as with one of the Marx brothers and Abbot and Costello. The hosts of the old Laugh In had dumb as a running gag.
So maybe it’s an old new thing?
Citation as requested: The Hangover, Horrible Bosses, Knocked Up, Entourage, Fast and Furious….etc etc etc
Haven’t read this yet, but it’s always been “OK,” in that it’s culturally acceptable, to be sexist against men. Feminism insisted political correctness into Western society, but men have always been subjected to the application of rigid traditional gender roles. Only recently have men found any voice against this sexism. It’s a simple statement of fact. For example, men and boys are terribly subject to homophobic accusations, and their masculinity and self-esteem are still based upon “not being gay.” There is a corollary to women (tomboys and lesbians not being “feminine”) but it’s nowhere near as pervasive and central. And… Read more »
Sexism against men didn’t just start out of nowhere a few years ago. For the longest time men had their perscribed roles and they were enforced just like any other. Don’t want to be soldier? Use shame to get men to fight and if that doesn’t work threaten imprisonment or even death. Don’t want to get married to a woman and have a family? Use shame to ostracize men and accuse them of being closeted gays or make them out to be creepy. This has been around for ages. Because when did it become cool to be dumb? Is it… Read more »
Brilliant.
Point taken. And absolutely correct – but women haven’t (usually) been the perpetrators of this. Even in advertising, women aren’t the perps in this anti-male sexism, per se. (Ad execs are not frequently women.)
The thing is, that in this, men and women have a common enemy. To date, sexism against both sexes has economically benefited men more than women. Ultimately, though, the “war between the sexes” (as any other divisive social issues) has benefited mostly the capitalist classes.
Point taken. And absolutely correct – but women haven’t (usually) been the perpetrators of this. Even in advertising, women aren’t the perps in this anti-male sexism, per se. (Ad execs are not frequently women.) But women are often the target audience of such advertising. Based on your line of logic when Hardees did that line of commercials with attractive women eating large sandwiches with the implication of oral sex, the male audience that watched the ad and caught the implication were not the perpetrators but rather Hardees and the people who approved and ran the ad. And I’m pretty sure… Read more »
But Danny. Its so darn easy and appeals to small intellect. What could go wrong in the immortal words of Alfred E Neumann?
“And yes, I do know the advertising industry’s negative stereotypes were pointed the other way for two hundred years, but how does that make it acceptable?”
Not “were pointed the other way,” ARE still pointed the other way. Sexism against women has not stopped.. it’s just that now it’s happening to men, too. And no, it’s not acceptable for either one.
Welcome to the party.
There is no such thing as sexism against men. There is no economic or social advantage to being sexist against men, as there is against women, therefore it does not exist. You’ve had your time in the sun. Step back and suck it up.
Fuck you.
Seconded. Motion passed.
Clearly, you have no idea, and perhaps you don’t care to have one, about what could possibly constitute sexism, except where it affects you personally. (I’m assuming you’re a woman; if not, you have some serious self-loathing problems–maybe you do anyway). If you’ve ever deigned to read some of the heartfelt articles on this site, even this one, with a modicum of respect for men as human beings, you should have gleaned quite a lot of knowledge regarding the sex and gender specific pressures that men and boys face that are detrimental to their humanity. That IS sexism. You may… Read more »
You gotta love people like Crysm. We hear from decades on end how we need to end sexism against women and treat them with respect, but when it comes time to treat men with respect, they cross their arms and say, “nope!”.
Then they contrive all kinds of excuses, mental gymnastics and hide behind definitions to justify it.
Just treat us the same as you’d like to be treated. Sound fair?
Crysm, I would prefer suck it up, MISTER Buttercup. For in the immortal paraphrased words of Judge Julius Alexander Randolph, ‘the poster will address this patriarchal bastard as “Mister” or ” Sir.” I’m quite certain I’ve earned it.’
Crystal – on one hand I understand where you are coming from (it is the same argument that people of color make regarding racism.) On the other hand, I am the mother of a son. If I had a daughter, I would be furious about the pink ghetto – as the mother of a son, I am furious that my boy is subject to constant messaging regarding his own lack of competence – and that incompetence is something that makes him a real man. If it’s not fair to say it about one gender, it’s not fair to say it… Read more »
Whathat Crysm (and most white feminists) means is that no type of discrimination affects men – especially racsim, homophobia, or economic oppression. Feminism defines men as privileged in all areas, not just gender. If you believe that sexism towards men exists, you are not a feminist.
You’re weak,Crysm. Very weak, and you know it. And that’s why you sit on your high horse and talk about equality, all the while festering with misandry and disdain for the XY chromosome, unwilling to seek out true equality because you’re too immature, hypocritical, and spineless. Insecurity isn’t a becoming color on you.
Tell yourself whatever you have to in order to make yourself feel better but remember this: you can sprinkle sugar on a turd and call it candy, but one bite and it’s still a piece of shit.
wrt ads and dumb men:
The advertisers know their market and their market eats this up with a spoon. You can’t sell something–in this case ads making guys look dumb–if nobody is buying. So somebody is buying.
Who said men have started to be dumb to be cool? Cite, please.
” Who said men have started to be dumb to be cool?” This is exactly what I was thinking. Looking forward to the response.