Ask kids directly for honest views on adulthood.
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I, like most of the world on social media love seeing memes and in all their creativity. For those of you who don’t know what those are, they are the funny photos people post with catchy sayings that usually make us laugh. I have no clue why they are called memes, but hey why does that matter anyway?
Last night I saw a meme about growing up and how it basically entails appearing on this earth out of thin air, having to study really hard and the necessity to get a job after that. It was kind of like one of those “this is all you get in life folks” kind of memes. At the end of the meme, the character asked “what if I wanted to be a duck?” I must admit it was hilarious but it made sense . There is nothing wrong with studying hard and trying to obtain a great career. We get pushed into fields that eventually burn us out because we “live” the expectations put upon us and know nothing more. Sadly, most of us aren’t in the career field we are actually matched for. If you’re lucky and you are leadership at a company, you may get the chance to bring in a nifty coach to help you figure out your struggles, move on and live happily ever after. I know , I know, it sounds like I’m writing to promote coaches but that’s honestly not my reason for going down this road. So what happens, though, if no matter where I end up in life, I simply say one day “I just want to be a duck?”
Getting back to the meat of it all and to explain my duck scenario, I’ll first mention growing up can be really scary. We are given a list of options by our parents because they believe they are being helpful in narrowing choices for children. As we age, we are expected to meet this expectation somehow and then go forth unleashed to give the world a taste of the adult us….or is it more likely we and up with a taste of what the world has to offer despite the experiences handed to us by well intentioned adults?
I found myself saying out loud “I don’t want to do this adult thing anymore. ” Now, I’m sure I’ll find myself saying “I just want to be a duck!” What do I mean by that? Being an adult is full of challenges and one of the biggest ones is acquiring and paying bills which as adults we can’t get away from. We have to do a lot of things to be able to take care of the responsibilities we have…..unlike ducks go to and from, quacking along the way, hanging out in water hoping some well meaning human will throw out breadcrumbs. There may be thought goes into where they want to go next but not matter what type of duck they are they are sill a duck. They aren’t forced to go into a world full of thousands of jobs and told “hey pick one” and make it work. The job we are told we nee to find comes with these rules as well: It’ll need to sustain your standard of living, be enough for all the bills and by the way you’ll need to put 6 months of savings away for a rainy day. Have you ever wondered how this is perceived in the mind of a child?
Managing kids is tough. Many want kids to be sheltered from the trials of real life and sugar coat what it is to be an adult. We have good intentions; however, this is not preparing our kids for the real world and can lead to stress, anxiety and depression. In addition to protecting them, we are charged as parents with the responsibility of preparing them. Kids see us paying bills, complaining, fussing in traffic and talking about other adults we supposedly care about. Why would that look attractive to any kid who we haven’t prepared properly? They’d rather be a duck right?
Instead of giving a false sense of “life is a dream” , I challenge you this day to take more time showing kids how to manage the road of life. Lean into the discomfort that sometimes comes with life while giving them the tools to deal with it. Allow them to know it isn’t perfect and sometimes dreams deferred simply mean there is a another path that may be filled with fewer thorns and more opportunities. Without this skill set we are leaving our kids out there dangling from side to side vulnerable to the perils of the world that are great in number and defenseless to battle them. Let a duck be a duck, but raise your kids to be winners and don’t be afraid to ask them for real honesty about how they perceive adulthood. They may enlighten you to some unconscious teachings they’ve received from you or others that you still have time to correct.
Photo: Peggy2012CreativeLenz/Flickr
A lot of times I wish I was a bird that was soaring above the ground and not have to worry about all the problems that the human race has to deal with because of its own stupidity. All I have to worried about is eating, sleeping, and not getting sick or being eaten by predators.