Emergency C-Sections, anti-labor meds, and two premature sons. We were in for the worst six weeks of our lives.
My twins were due Sept. 21, 2009. My wife’s water broke, for reasons still unknown, at 29 weeks and 2 days. I was at work (two hours away) and sped to the hospital, where she had been given her first dose of steroids (to help with lung development) while waiting for an ambulance transport to take her to a hospital with a Level 3 NICU.
When we arrived at the hospital she was given more steroids and additional meds to hold off labor while the steroids were given time to work. Twenty-four hours after they stopped the anti-labor medications, I was, once again, at work — and my wife, once again went into labor.
I got to the hospital and found out she didn’t want to tell me she was in labor because she didn’t want me doing 90 mph the whole way. A few hours later we were taken into an operating room so she could get an Emergency C-section. Baby B was in the birth canal but Baby A was transverse across my wife’s uterus on the top.
At 10:01 PM on 7/13/09 we met our boys and our world changed. They were whisked away by NICU staff to be checked out before my wife even got a chance to see them or hear their cries. A few minutes later (it seemed like a lifetime) they were wheeled back in so we could touch them, see them, and meet our sons for the first time.
We didn’t know it, but we were in for the worst six weeks of our lives.
Around midnight, I was able to go up with my mother-in-law and see them in the NICU. There were so many wires and tubes. It’s one of those things you never forget. I still get flashbacks when I see premature births or NICUs on TV. It was one of the scariest sights of my life.
The wires and monitors were the worst. The monitors watched oxygen level, breath rate and heart rate. The biggest concerns are apnea (not breathing), desaturation (low blood oxygen level) and bradycardia (low heart rate). Monitors watched all of these things and set off alarms when the levels went below a preset. That sound haunted every NICU visit.
Once I was able to hold them—after many weeks—I would find myself not looking at my sons, but at the monitor. I was scared, always waiting for something to happen. Fortunately, one of the great NICU nurses reminded me what I should be doing is focusing on the little person in front of me, and how incredible he was.
If you’re looking for advice should you find yourself in this situation, my advice is to find the silver lining. There will be lots of horrifying aspects of your NICU stay, but try to focus on the good. Maybe it’s the fact that soon your twins will get to wear clothes. Or soon move out of the incubator. Focus on the fact that then they will come off of the monitor, and soon it will be time to pass the car seat test. And before you know it, they will come home.
When our boys finally came home, it was week apart. We found dual inguinal hernias on Baby B the day before he was scheduled to come home, and he had an apnea after the surgery. Hospital policy was that he had to maintain five days without incident before he could go home. Major setback.
Because of this we encountered something that parents with premature twins often encounter: one twin comes home first. You get used to having one baby home. Then a few days, maybe a week or two later, after you have gotten your schedule set with one baby, the game changes. And you have finally, for the first time in many weeks, become a family. You have no idea what you are getting into, but you learn quickly. You have no choice when you have twins. You are both worn thin. Parents of single babies coming up to you with comments like, “Oh, it must be so tough!!!” Yes.
But after you have gotten used to things, you look back and think to yourself that there may be tough moments, but you would never trade your life for theirs. Your twins are something special, and you are something special: a dad of twins.
—Photo ceejayoz/Flickr
About Thomas Williams
My sons were due on December 22nd. They were born October 15. They came so quickly that I wasn’t even able to get into the delivery room for the elder one. The younger one was breech and I had to stand around outside while they did a C-section. I helped a nurse lug the oxygen bottle over to the cart and tightened the fittings for her. Then they let me look at my son and my world changed. I was allowed to rub his foot while they hooked up all the monitors. Then son number 2 came in, pulling and fighting at the tubes and wires all the way.
I called it Baby Boot Camp. Up at five to drive to the NICU, then to each of my three part-time jobs, then back to the NICU before bed. The first time I was allowed to hold son A, he died in my hands. No heart beat. No breathing. Just so very fucking still and silent. I blew into his nose and had him breathing by the time the nurse got there. Then son B pulled the same trick two months later on the first night we brought him home.
Heart monitors, breathing monitors, weigh-ins, cranial measurements…doctor visits, dirty diapers, vomit in my face…nothing, nothing mattered except that I was with my boys. It was, and is, an incredible experience. So thank you for reminding me of that, especially since they are now four and can be a little hard to deal with.
Our twin girls weren’t due until the end of May 2009 — but they wanted to surprise us and showed up on April 16. (6 weeks early). Each on ventilators, Norah was whisked from us to an entirely different hospital (with that Level 3 NICU). Three weeks of two different hospitals and two different NICUs later, they came home and we haven’t looked back. Until I hear stories like yours…thanks for sharing!
I will never forget those times — if you like, check it out at: http://addude13.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/daddy-diary-the-most-difficult-three-days-of-our-lives/
Great stories from you both. Harley, we were lucky that when my wife’s water broke, she was able to get to her doctor (at a local hospital), where she was given meds to stabilize the labor then put in an ambulance for a drive to a Level 3 hospital.
After the hernia found on B, and the recovery, a couple of weeks later, we found a hernia on A. Trip to the Dr, referral to a bigger hospital an hour away, then an uneventful overnight. My wife stayed up there with him, I stayed home with his brother.
Tomio, I completely agree with the “Baby Boot Camp” name. We were living 2 hours away from my job when the twins were born. I woke up at 5, on the road by 6, at work at 8. Work a full day, back on the road at 5, home at 7. Eat quick dinner, then head to the hospital with the wife. Spend time with the kids for a few hours, some nights until 9, some until midnight. We then moved 5 minutes away from my work before bringing one of the twins home. Now we rent an apartment a mile from my work. Big improvement.
I’m the father of triplets who were born at 27 weeks and spent the first10 weeks of their lives in the NICU.
They turned 2 this year and have just ‘graduated’ from ECI.
I remember the night we found out that one of them had NEC, another was showing signs of the same, and we were told that we needed to get back to hospital *now*.
I’ll never forget that drive as long as I live.
Right now, the boys are all doing very well and aside from a few mannerisms, there is no indication of their tortuous first 3 months of life.