Which World Do You Belong To?

facemeplskiss

The problem with the images of perfection we see in the media is that they divide the world in two.

-

I recently saw this Image:

maria-kang-whats-your-excuse

And then I read about the controversy that surrounded it.

The thing I took away was that for some people there exists two worlds.

The Two Worlds

 

The first world:

is made up of people that look like this

bp-sexy-girl

And This

bp-sexy-guy

And They Eat Things Like This:

blog-fruit-maxey

And This

bp-cottage-cheese

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

slide1

 

And This

slide3

The Second World

is made up of people that look like this

fat-woman-on-beach

And This

fatkid

And They Eat Things Like This:

Honey_bun_indulgence

And This

Potato_chips

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

bp-cake-dulcie

And This

bp-man-vs-food-deepbluc

If you read the internet then you probably think

This is what the first world thinks about themselves:

  • I worked hard to get this body and I’m proud of it.
  • I’m sexy and people like that, how could that be wrong.
  • Life is about staying focused, being successful, and looking good.

This is what the second world thinks about themselves:

  • It’s not my fault I’m overweight. It’s bad genetics, it’s McDonalds, it’s my kids etc.
  • I hate that I’m fat, but I can’t change it.
  • I look awful and feel awful about myself
  • or
  • I’m proud to be fat and I don’t give a crap what you think.

This is what the first world thinks about the second:

  • Stop making excuses and start getting in shape.
  • You have no one to blame for your weight but you. If you worked as hard as I do you could look as good as me.
  • It sucks that people bully you, but what do you expect. If you really want to shut them up pick up a barbell and put down that fork.

This is what the second world thinks about the first:

  • Those fitness models probably all have eating disorders.
  • Fit people have OCD and they are all about shaming fat people.
  • Those bodies aren’t realistic and they are causing people to hate themselves.

Well I’m here to tell you that all of this is:

BULLSHIT

We all live in one world where people look like this:

bnilsen

And This

gebala
And This

virginia-artaza

And This

eguide-travel2

And This

eguidetravel

And This

sfj

And This

meanest-indian

And This

see-ming-lee-e69d8ee6809de6988e-sml2

And This

see-ming-lee-e69d8ee6809de6988e-sml

And This

facemepls

And This

marcelometal

And This

samaritans-of-walsall-district

And This

runners-of-all-shapes

And This

facemeplskiss

And They Eat Things Like This:

nicknguyen

And This

basykes

And They Post Things On Their Facebook Pages Like This:

Inspirational-quote-tamar20-30876737-1920-1200

And This

craiglea123

And This

craiglea1234

And This

bp-status-up-date-brett-jordan

And This

bp-yourockyourule-1

The One World

The world is complicated and diverse. But there is one of it.

So I encourage you to not put yourself in one group or another, but to see that we all long to be more whole, to be more connected, to be more wise, and to be more loving.

The problem with images like this

maria-kang-whats-your-excuse

Is that they divide the world into two.

Those that make excuses and those that don’t

Those that work hard and those that don’t

Those that look like this and those that don’t.

But there aren’t two worlds, there aren’t two moons, and there aren’t two yous.

The you who you are and you who could be.

There is only you perfect and whole just as you are.

And everything you are, or have been, or will be is right there in the center of your chest.

Whenever you forget this –

Close your eyes

And say to yourself

May I be free from fear and anxiety

May I be at ease

May I be happy

Repeat this whenever you need a moment to love who you are right here right now

 

 

Originally appeared at Mind Fit Move

 

All photos courtesy of Mind Fit Move

 

 

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About Samuel Gentoku McCree

Samuel "Gentoku" McCree is a Mindful Fitness Thought Leader, Mindfulness Based Personal Trainer, and Mindful Living Coach from Portland, OR. He trained for over 2 years at a Zen Monastery and now strives to help people transform their lives through mindfulness and movement. His blog about fitness, mindfulness, and transformation can be found at mindfitmove.com. He also has created a special offer just for The Good Men Project Readers.

Comments

  1. Wow, even that first picture pissed me off. You’ve got it right. There are people who look like that woman, but she’s got an army of help and some photoshop masters to boot. This plugs right into Brené Brown’s wonderful piece on woman’s shame. Do it all, kids, work, workout, dinner, and still please your man in the evening. And NEVER show you’re working at it.

    I hate this kind of “marketing.” And we know the “health” of many of these models is not that healthy. (men and women)

    Thanks for the post. Well done.

    • Thanks for you comment. I love the perspective of the model it creates for women. It’s not something I had thought about much when I wrote the post but you are absolutely right. It’s an old perspective and not a very enlightened one at that.

  2. Fantastic. Enough of the binary thinking. We are all constantly being invited to pick and side and fight it out. Why? Because every time we fall for it and pick a side, someone makes a profit center out of that conflict.

  3. Agree with this article so much – excellent use of contrasting images too. My spouse and I increasingly feel ‘left behind’ by a culture dominated by binary, exclusionary thinking. So instead, we create our own culture. Turned off the television, put down our phones, and focus on reading, plays, performance art, playing sports rather than watching them, spending time with our family. The more we turn away, the better we feel.

    • That’s awesome Frederick. One of the reasons I moved to portland was that there are so many people like that here. Thanks for you comment!

  4. Good stuff. Now let’s extrapolate the lesson and stop divvying up the world into…

    – People that are married vs not
    – People that are straight vs gay vs bi vs trans vs asexual vs all/none of the above
    – People that are partnered monogamously vs polyamorously vs not
    – People that are conservatives vs progressives
    – People that are religious vs irreligious
    – People that appreciate labelling themselves with some sort of ideology (feminist, MRA) vs not

    I could keep going on…but the point is, all these divisions are essentially and ultimately BULLSHIT.

    Why are they bullshit? Because they are temporary states and situations, and marked by impermanence. In Buddhist languaging: “All dharmas are empty. All dharmas are like magical dreams”.

    That’s not to say we CAN’T use maps and models, and make categories to conveniently hold our values and views on life. Rather, the idea is to hold them loosely, knowing that they’re simply constructs that we create for our convenience – and not confuse the constructs with the deeper, more pristine, more profound reality behind them.

    BTW, I wore my Trilby hat while writing this.

  5. Love it. This is thought provoking article for me, because it helps bring light to a discussion I often have with my wife. She thinks she’s fat: in my opinion, she’s not. She has some extra pounds; she doesn’t always eat healthy foods; she doesn’t exercise. I’m the same. I’d like to get motivated, get some exercise, eat healthier, and lose weight, but it’s because I want to feel better overall. I want her to do these things because I love her and I want her to feel good, too, (and to live forever). I also want her to have confidence in herself, and I think I do my part to help her, but the media has afftected her for her whole life, so…plus, we both suffer from clinical depression, and the medication only does so much, so…

    So, yeah, it’s an excuse, but the degree of its validity isn’t clear. If we’re not satisfied with who we are, in the end, don’t we have only ourselves to blame? Do we allow the media to dictate our self-perception? Or are they just pointing out something we already kinda know? Maybe if we weren’t so thin skinned sometimes, we’d see it as a challenge and a pep talk for becoming better, instead of a moral condemnation of our imperfections. And then we decide how badly we want that “perfection” or “betterment,” and weigh that against what we have to overcome to achieve it. And if we decide to give ourselves a break and not seek such perfection, because we like dessert and relaxing our butts and our minds in front of the television, well, so be it. It’s up to us. You’re OK the way you are; you’re OK if you decide to seek betterment for your own sake. I’ll love my wife either way.

    • Paul,

      I really like your comment, especially the line “You’re OK the way you are; you’re OK if you decide to seek betterment for your own sake.”

      I often feel like I’m under attack from people who love to tell me that if I’m thin it’s not because I work hard at the gym (it’s privilege), that if I went to a good law school it’s not because I worked hard in college (it’s privilege), and that if I have a good job it’s not because I worked hard in law school (again, it’s usually privilege). I want to agree with Maria Kang’s message, not because I think it’s a healthy message, but because I feel a need to push back against a society that discounts all of the hard work I’ve put into bettering my own life. If we need to tell Maria Kang to stop selling her message, it’s equally important that we tell those on the other side of the spectrum to stop selling theirs, that hard work creates success and “privilege” is a poor explanation for society.

      That’s why I like you message best Paul, there’s no question that everyone is OK the way they are, and that should be a message for BOTH people who believe in hard work and those who want to chalk everything up to “privilege.”

      • Carrie P says:

        Privilege isn’t saying you didn’t work your ass off to get to where you are. It’s just saying that there are people with certain challenges in our society that would have had to work even harder and overcome even more obstacles than you did to get to where you are. I hate too that privilege sometimes gets used as a “you have it so easy” kind of thing, because really it’s meant to point out that there are people who struggle with challenges that we never even have to think about.

  6. I do think there are two worlds: One with super fast internet speeds, & then mine. Why????? Safaricom mobile data. Why?????!!!
    Good article.

  7. Living in California, I see a lot of this binary thinking. I have lived long enough to see another delineation: young vs. old. I don’t care what I eat or how many hours I spend at the gym, at 67 I am not going to look like a 30-year old. As your pictures show, we humans are very diverse, which is probably why we still survive. It is lazy, selfish thinking that leads to simple binary solutions…

    • I love that this concept of binary keeps coming up. I think it’s so true. Our worship of youth means we lose so much wisdom that more mature people have to offer. I made a vow a long time ago to listen to and appreciate the wisdom of my elders and your comment reminded me why I do that. Thank you!

  8. Alan Bishop says:

    Thanks for the great article Samuel,

    First lets agree on Acceptance, then work on Tolerance and finally Peace. Picking sides is relevant when you’re playing pickup hockey, baseball, etc. Opinions are wonderful, we all have those.

    Don Miguel Ruiz makes it all seem so simple in the Four Agreements but DAMN they are hard to work on an everyday basis.
    The Four Agreements are:
    1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean.

    2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
    Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.

    3. Don’t Make Assumptions
    Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.

    4. Always Do Your Best
    Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

    I’m just working on Being Better Everyday. That’s all I can ask of myself.

  9. Hank Vandenburgh says:

    I dated the woman in the first pic. She had problems. I look like the first guy with a beard.

  10. There are two types of people in the world:

    Those who believe there are two types of people in the world

    And those who don’t.

  11. There are 10 types of people in the World.
    Those who can Count in binary, and those who can’t.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Ive worked in the organic health food industry for half a decade. The people in this industry also gravitate towards the fit side. While there is some righteousness I can say if you went up to 75% of them and had questions, wanted help or just wanted to chat they wouldn’t turn you away or snub you. They would also be real with you on the personal challenges they face. I believe in being fit, I believe in eating healthy- and by healthy I mean whole unprocessed organic foods. Because it is the #1 form of self love. You only have 1 vessel to explore and live in this big beautiful world. Don’t do it for vanity, don’t do it to look better then the person next to you. Do it so you can live a full life without pain, suffering, medication or disease.

Trackbacks

  1. […] Gentoku McCree wrote a really affirming piece about accepting ourselves despite the way the media portrays a binary view of health and fitness and while I agree that there aren’t just “fit” and “fat” people in this world, I wonder […]

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