The New York Times tried to define him and failed. John Glass is trying now. Should we be defining him? Isn’t it up to men to define themselves?
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If you have seen the show Mad Men, think “Donald Draper.” He’s a man that has little to share with his wife or kids. He keeps his feelings buried deep inside for fear of being exposed or vulnerable.
I disagree with the idea that this is what a man needs to be.
I think we are called to be so much more.
I read an article recently in The NY Times titled 27 Ways to Be a Modern Man. As I read the article, it felt more like the author was writing a satire, rather than listing solid traits of what a modern man actually is or needs to be.
So, what traits does a modern man need to have?
This man is very different from “Donald Draper.”
After a few days of asking around, I compiled a list that describes what it means to be a modern man in today’s society.
- The modern man has a survivalist instinct. If the electricity goes out he knows how to cope with that situation.
- The modern man is self-sustainable. He can be on his own or with others, makes little difference.
- A modern man has an adventurous spirit. He follows passions that he finds exciting. He is curious about the world.
- The modern man has humbleness about him. He lets his actions speak for him.
- Modern men have integrity. They are rooted in their beliefs and values. Those beliefs and values are in alignment with who they want to be.
- The modern man has self-respect. He does not use self-deprecating humor to make others laugh. He respects himself too much.
- Modern men have boundaries with others. They know where they end and others begin.
- He’s friendly. He greets you with a smile.
- The modern man has empathy. He can experience the emotions of others. He can see situations from the perspective of others.
- He has compassion. This goes along with empathy. He understands that life can be hard. He knows that life can put some strong obstacles in the way of others.
- The modern man is forgiving. He can let go of past hurts whether the person is in their life or not.
- He’s goal-driven. He understands the importance of setting goals and strives to meet those goals.
- The modern man is determined. He overcomes adversity.
- He’s got a sense of humor. He can laugh at the absurdities that occur in this life.
- He’s willing to expand his consciousness. He never stops learning. He owns his strengths and weaknesses.
- He’s family oriented. He is willing to sacrifice his life for his children or spouse. He strives to raise his children to be the best versions of themselves they can be.
- He allows himself to be vulnerable. He is willing to express his failures. He is able to be open and honest about his thoughts and feelings on particular beliefs, situations, or similar aspects with people who will respect him, even if they disagree.
- The modern man is stable. He’s grounded. He has emotional intelligence.
- He’s passionate. He has a passion about things in his life that bring him enjoyment. He also has a passion that brings romance into his relationship.
- He’s present. He focuses on what is happening now in his life. Not on what has happened or what will happen.
- He’s aware of how his actions and words affect those around him.
- The modern man says what he means and means what he says. He is firm in being the best version of himself he can be.
- The modern man is willing to take a risk. He is willing to ignore the consequences or rewards and just do it.
- The modern man is sincere. He does not try to manipulate or coerce people into what he wants.
- He’s a role model. He shows others what it is to be a modern man in today’s society.
As you read through this list I am sure there are items you identify with and likely there are some you do not. I look forward to your comments below.
Ultimately, it’s presumptuous to define the modern man. What’s most important is that we make our own list and strive to live by it each day. The New York Times has no business defining who we are. That’s something we are challenged to define for ourselves.
Photo: Pixabay
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Thanks for this article! This is a far better portrayal of the modern man than the NYT article (which I did actually think was a joke!).
The modern man is in a major transitional phase right now, and many men are confused about what they ’should’ be rather than what they are / want to be.
I’m in Frank’s camp. While these are certainly modern and softer versions of what men should be they are nevertheless stereotypes of one gender. Does not a woman also be held to these as a good human? If she does is she then a man in the eyes of culture? It does represent a shift in rigidity but only incrementally. If this article would be changed to what a good human is to be then it may have more relevance to change. But I understand that the question was for what constitutes a man these days and at least that’s… Read more »
A man doesn’t “need” to be anything other than a decent human being. Yet more needless, pointless and harmful How To Be A Real Man(TM) nonsense from a website claiming to be “the conversation nobody else is having” unless you count AskMen, FHM, GQ, Cosmo, Jezebel and others that decide there is a rigid definition of what a man should be.
And by the way. Does a 17 year old fast food worker in their first job demand and deserve a 15 dollar an hour job?? Really??
Mark: That would depend on the cost of living in the area. Does that same job pay different wages if the person is 35 and had been laid off from a 15 year career? Here’s an idea, regardless of the job, working a 40 hour week at the minimum wage should at a minimum pay that employee enough to live. If you insist that an expensive education is required to make more than that minimum then the minimum should go up enough for them to live AND be educated. An arbitrary dollar figure? No. Minimum wage should march in lock… Read more »
Man g I wish I knew your experiences because they come out so negatively and I’m sorry you’ve taken all that in. I see that coming out in most of your posts. Just sayin’ Bad and evil is a relative thing. Its part of being human. ISIS to us is evil. To righteous Muslims patriots. A capitalist invests in society by creating jobs and paying workers. They make a profit that hopefully will hire more people that didn’t have jobs. A long time ago I was doing a home addition. We had to dig a huge hole. My contractor hired… Read more »
Well, I don’t see the modern man with all those traits you mention coming into existence anytime soon. I would like to see the modern man display righteous anger when a bad/evil person does something. I would like to have the modern man invest his society, invest in his workforce, invest in the education system at all levels. Paid his workforce the wages and the benefits that they deserve.