“What age is a black boy when he learns he’s scary?”- Jonathan Lethem
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Unfortunately our society does not always recognize the “exception to the rule”, the young black men that are law abiding citizens. Have we ever stopped to wonder how our perception and generalization of black young men affects their emotional and mental well-being? How does it feel for a young black man to see the fear and uncertainty in someone’s eyes when they are in a closed confined space? Do we even consider how preexisting negative stereotypes of young black men create feelings of doubt and discontent within them?
Yes, statistically we have problems with violence and gangs in our communities. Yet, we can not judged all based on the actions of a few. There are many young black men who are responsible, respectful, successful and good citizens of the world. According to a 2010 study supported by the CDC Foundation, enrollment of black young men in college is up. There are young black men who are uplifting their communities instead of destroying them with violence, crime and drugs. We rarely hear about them because we lump all young black men in one pile. We don’t think about the hurt we caused when we step aside in fear when they stepped onto the elevator or how we hold our breath when they brush aside us. Our young men are subjected to unwarranted police frisking, racial profiling in their communities, retail outlets, etc.
It must not be easy growing up as a black boy in a society that sees you as a dangerous, yet endangered. Young black men are forced to make other people feel comfortable around them, to make themselves appear less threatening. Why is it a young black man’s responsibility to make others feel at ease? They sense the tension rising when they are laughing and goofing off with friends loudly. They know that despite their best efforts, the culture of fear surrounding them is overpowering.
We need stronger advocates for young black men. Although there are many people doing great work to address these issues, what we really need is to re-frame our thinking and see the world through their eyes. It pains me to have to remind my son of how to conduct himself if stopped by the police or what to do if he is followed in a store. It hurts me to know that despite our best efforts, he may be subjected to society’s negative stereotyping.
These young men will continue to be discriminated against and feared. We have to bring to light the damage society’s fear is doing to their self-esteem and confidence. We have to remind black boys and young black men that they are not scary.
Photo: DayStar297/Flickr
Originally appeared at Black Life Coaches.net
I was assaulted by four “young, unarmed black men” in October of 1974 on a Navy base in Norfolk, Virginia. Don’t even try to tell me that this is a “new” or “recent” problem, because it isn’t. Should I trust a young black man before he has shown himself trustworthy, particularly now that I am older and disabled? I have been looking over my shoulder for over forty years, and I am not about to quit now. I may have been born at night, but I wasn’t born LAST night. Have I met some very fine young, black men? Absolutely,… Read more »
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU RACIST
“We neglect to see the pain in their eyes hidden by an armor of hardness and false bravado.”
I think this is a brilliant line. In the end, society’s fear and suspicion of young black men is a reflection of the fear and suspicion young black men have of society. The world’s people act far too much on their base emotions than they do their better understandings.
I think you’re incorrect Joanna.. Like Corey, i’ve never profiled a black or a white person, ever, when they are dressed appropriately for the situation. On the other hand i’ve judged the character of plenty of white and black people for when they have fit an image that potentially puts me at risk. Sorry, but that’s just plain old self protection at work. Is the white guy with method mouth going to panhandle me? Probably based on my past experience. Is that black kid in colors going to hassle me ? Probably if i’m in a situation of being separated… Read more »
Girls get a ride, meaning they can have the privilege of being raped by men?
Yay.
Yes, statistically we have problems with violence and gangs in our communities. Yet, we can not judged all based on the actions of a few. There are many young black men who are responsible, respectful, successful and good citizens of the world. According to a 2010 study supported by the CDC Foundation, enrollment of black young men in college is up. There are young black men who are uplifting their communities instead of destroying them with violence, crime and drugs. We rarely hear about them because we lump all young black men in one pile. Yeah this is a bit… Read more »
This is not an issue strictly pertaining to young black men, but rather any men of any race, creed, or color that identify themselves with a violent culture. When I was a teenager I was an adherent to the punk culture. This is pre hot topic when this culture was far less accepted. I dressed in this culture, I acted as a member of this culture, and I paid for the crimes of others in this culture. When people would see me with an 18″ orange and blue Mohawk they would cross the street, hold their significant others a little… Read more »
Corey – you do understand that you could always choose to wash out the hair dye, change your clothes and put your hair down, right? People of color cannot do that. People were reacting to the fact that you were CHOOSING to be outside of society’s norms. I’m not saying that they should react that way, but their reaction was to choices you made, not something you couldn’t control. At any time, you could’ve gotten a high-and-tight or a buzz cut and put on a suit and then you’d be everyone’s best friend. I know this, because I dressed counter-culture… Read more »
Joanna, please read past the first paragraph. Men, of all races, who act outside the norms will be treated in such a way. I have since my childhood readjusted to the mainstream world. And so too can any man. The negative reactions are going to felt by any person who identifies with a negative subculture. This includes any race. If you see any man in a suit, a pair of khakis and a polo, or wearing slacks and a button up you will react differently than if you see someone identifying themselves, through their demeanor or dress, with a counterculture… Read more »
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU RACIST HOE
I wish I could share your optimism but I think we would be doing young black men a disservice by not recognizing the role America Slavery, Jim Crow laws and yeeees white supremacy plays in what I would openly describe as a strong anti-establishment current within the black youth culture. I mean it’s one thing to flirt with the notion that disenfranchised youth lash out at society through artistic self representation but I’d be more worried about the pants sagging street hustlers who see conformity as an act of sheer racial treason. These of course are my lived experiences and… Read more »
The conversation has gone exactly where is supposed to have gone … yes the media portrays blacks a certain way !! But are we going to cherry pick now ? By that I mean … are we going to keep laughing about the angry black woman on tv always having her way or about the big black guy beating and intimidating other men on tv ? Its not funny ! Not only that , its bad ! That feeling of entitlement is bad for anybody … black men , white men , women for being beautiful etc etc .
My son’s friend since kindergarten and who lives a block and a half away is half black/ half Caucasian… He is one of the sweetest boys I have ever met…he is thirteen like my son and about just as tall as me…. And, yes, I wonder how people who don’t know him will treat him… He is very polite and gracious in manner, so I think he will disarm people the moment they say “hello” to him…. But it would break my heart if people made terrible assumptions about him….
Correct me if I’m wrong but I get the feeling that the gist of the article is being lost. The way I read it was that there is a need to do something to change the typical view of young black males/boys. And if this is what was initially intended, I agree. Even with the % of criminality, there are many black youth who don’t fit that role. Looping this around to men’s issues in general, we’ve seen this happen to men. How many articles have you read here at GMP that reflect men as brutes, chauvinistic, womanizers, etc. I… Read more »
Thank you Tom! The point I ‘m making is that there is a culture of fear surrounding young black men. You’re right about the hoodie. Just the other night, my son went to put one on and I had him take it off. Most teens wear hoodies but I wouldn’t want someone to make an assumption about him based on what he’s wearing. This is a reality for many parents of black boys. The other reality is having a talk with him about what to do if he is stopped by the police.
I didn’t find out until after my son was well out of HS that he had at times been stopped by the local police. I wished he would have said something but the good new is that he obviously conducted himself well in that there were never any issues. There was one situation though, where an old women had reported that there was a terrorist type in the park across the street. My son now manages an establishment in our down town area and all the police know him personally now. In so far as what he wears these days… Read more »
And btw, we cannot just look at the individual until we get to know them. Until then they are just a representative of the whole. We do this with everybody, gay, conservatives, liberals, all women, all men, Islamics or you name it. So why would we automatically assume this one young black fellow is to be given the benefit of their doubt for trust and decency, until I get to know him, and more importantly I think, her gets to know me? Does anybody in their right mind do this automatically? My bet is no. I know blacks whom i’ve… Read more »
One interesting observation: Young black men are forced to make other people feel comfortable around them, to make themselves appear less threatening. Why is it a young black man’s responsibility to make others feel at ease? I agree that it should not be, and I would assume most enlightened readers of this website agree as well. However, if you strike “black” from those sentences and talk just about (young) men, the picture is very different. We are reminded that as men we are supposed to switch to the other side of the street when we are alone with a female… Read more »
I would say that it happens with all young men – or most young men – but in particular with young Black men. So, in this case, the answer is “both” and not “either/or”
The problem is Joanna is that the expectation to follow what Noah said there, “The trick is to be aware of how you are most likely to make other people uncomfortable, and try to minimize that out of respect for them.” is not applied consistently.
I’ve been in plenty of conversations where expecting black people to make sure non-blacks are not uncomfortable is considered racist but expecting men to make sure women are not uncomfortable is considered progress.
As part of the previews that are shown with every movie these days, after they ask you to turn off your cell phone, they suggest that if you “see a suspicious character, report them to security.” Of the mass shootings that happen in America, the overwhelming percentage are carried out by white men. And yet, no one reports them as suspicious or dangerous.
JFB
Im a hispanic male 40 yrs old , 5’7 ,155 pounds, I live near south central L.A . When I walk to the neighborhood store at nights and get bullied by those young black males you are talking about I say to myself … its not their fault !? In some weird way its mine and my friend Kyle’s fault :/ … my Ethiopian , Honduran, Nigerian young black friends are not aggressive !! I wonder why not ? they also come from a tough childhood .
American black males are just more insecure especially considering the lack of a fathers presence. My parents came to the United States from Haiti. My father was a heavy handed disciplinarian & a true patriarch. He’d probably be in jail if he were to try that parenting style now but me and my 5 brothers and 3 sisters watched as the neighborhood children we grew up with were systematically institutionalized or murdered by the system. I guess that’s what happens when young black men are searching for proof of their manhood but all they have as a reference are clinched… Read more »
“American black males are just more insecure especially considering the lack of a fathers presence.” You bring up an all too familiar illusion/misnomer/fallacy.. Tell me, white boys don’t have this problem? There are just as many, if not more, actually, dysfunctional father/son relationships in the white and hispanic communities. Don’t believe the white media hype. It’s designed to be lopsided. Isn’t the author’s real question, “why are people more AFRAID of black boys than white ones?” It comes from the black male image in white America. Slavery. Jim Crow. Whites are to fear the Buck or Mandingo because he will… Read more »
I think movies and gang culture tends to project a scary view of them too. I wonder if people are more worried seeing urban/gang wear vs more basic casual wear ?
Taking into full account that I grew up in the late 80’s during a period where young people had unfettered access to drug money, I could assure you that there was nothing illusory or false about what I’ve witnessed. You could say times have changed & you’d be right but unfortunately all I’ve seen from the millennial generation was more hopelessness, less violence and less money. If I were to attempt to answer the question “why are people more AFRAID of black boys than white ones?” I would say that maybe they’re seeing the same hopelessness that I’m seeing and… Read more »
Because so many of them, comparatively to young white men, have proved by anecdote at least that they are very angry, and probably with cause, and to be violent. I have never met an older black gentleman, that might have been a very scary young man to be one of the nicest person I have ever run across. Age does wonders for all of us. But to deny that young black males can be very scary is to be stupid indeed. I don’t care for the idiocy of young males, white, black or otherwise. I was once a stupid young… Read more »
Well said, Mark. You are a refreshing exception to how a lot of people feel/think though. Case in point, George Zimmerman.
“Because so many of them, comparatively to young white men, have proved by anecdote at least that they are very angry, and probably with cause, and to be violent.”
You have just demonstrated with three words one of the basis of racism: “proved by anecdote.”
Anecdote, of course, proves nothing. In our society it proves less than nothing, because the media is in the business of scaring people; they will pull out one frightening anecdote of violence out of a hundred million events and scream it across headlines.
There are PLENTY of scary, angry white men.
http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2012/04/whiteonwhite_crime_it_goes_against_the_false_media_narrative.html
Funnily enough where I live it’s usually young white men that get into fist fights but that’s probably more to do with sheer numbers. Black people have always been good to me save the odd bully or two, I’ve been good to them. Had farrr more troubles with white folk, but again that could just be because of more chances since they’re the majority here.