As you go through life, don’t be afraid to mold yourself into something new, even if it’s nothing like what you or others expected.
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The phrase, “you are who you are”, drives me crazy. While there is certainly some truth in it, the idiom simplifies the concept to near unbearable levels.
Let me paint a picture for you. There is a high school-aged boy leaning against his hot-rodded Ford Mustang, waiting for his high school sweetheart. He’s just concluded a night of lifeguarding for the evening’s open-swim at the school’s pool. His girl is a drummer for the school’s jazz band, and her jam session/rehearsal is about to end.
The boy is sporting long blonde hair, curling out from beneath a white, energy drink advertising, flat-brim hat. His torso is covered by his lifeguard t-shirt, sleeves sloppily cut off with a dull pair of scissors, and an old zip-up hoodie from a trendy, teenager-oriented store in the mall. His legs are adorned by a baggy pair of cargo shorts, frayed around the leg openings. He stands in a fairly new pair of athletic sneakers with one foot propped against the wheel of his car.
He was a fairly typical image of a high school boy, from his surfer haircut, to his older-than-firsthand but newer-than-classic sports car, to his musician love interest. His boldness and individualism fit the mold of adolescent society almost perfectly.
Yup, you guessed it. The boy I have described is none other than yours truly in his younger years. This picture, however, would look foreign compared to a picture of me five short years later. I’ll try and paint you another picture, for the sake of continuity.
A young man sits in a dimly lit lounge in the upper east side of Manhattan. He puffs on a cigar while pouring himself a short glass of bourbon. His short hair is slicked back and to one side, with a clean part. The sleeves of his oxford shirt are rolled up, and his tie is somewhat loosened, reflecting a relaxed persona. His legs are crossed, with one hand resting on his leather wingtip.
I simply decided that who I was, was not who I wanted to be.
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If you guessed the first one, then you might have guessed this one as well. Yeah, it is also me. They are polar opposite images, yet one and the same people. There was not anything wrong with the first image, and there isn’t anything better about the second. They are simply different.
I am still the same person now that I was in high school. I still have a goofy sense of humor, I still enjoy impractical sports cars, and I am still with the same girl that I waited for out in the school’s parking lot.
I am the same person, but at the same time I am nothing like that person. I developed new interests, new hobbies, new religious and political views, and a new fashion sense. I love the new version of myself. Instead of living in a small, country town, I live in Brooklyn; land of the hipsters. Instead of playing guitar to relieve my angst, I write short stories. Instead of wearing baggy jeans and hoodies, I wear slim-cut jeans and sweaters.
Part of my transformation was due to growing up, but not by any means all of it. I know plenty of people who grew up to be no different than who they were during their youth, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that either.
I simply decided that who I was, was not who I wanted to be.
If Rosa Parks had just accepted where she was told to sit on the bus, her great grandchildren might still be sitting there today.
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It is no more complicated than choosing how you want your steak cooked, or whether or not you want whipped cream on your iced latte. You choose based on your own personal preferences. If you do not know what your personal preferences are, there is only one way to discover them.
I tried many different styles of clothing, many different hairstyles, and many different facial hair formations before discovering a personally desirable recipe for masculine confidence.
You are who you are. Yikes. It still sends chills down my spine. If life were that matter-of-fact we wouldn’t have some of our most intuitive and groundbreaking discoveries and inventions. If Thomas Edison has just accepted darkness as it was, he would have had no inspiration to invent what we now use to light our homes. If Rosa Parks had just accepted where she was told to sit on the bus, her great grandchildren might still be sitting there today.
You shouldn’t let your surroundings shape your inner-self. You shouldn’t let your past dictate your present, nor should you let your present dictate your future. You are not who you are. You are who you choose to be.
Carry yourself high, don’t hesitate, take risks, and be the ruler of your self-identity.
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The most important thing to remember is that whomever you choose to be, rock it. You can be dressed to the nines, up-to-date on all the latest political drama, and a connoisseur of all things fine and dandy, but the thing that makes it all work is confidence. You won’t convince those around you until you convince yourself.
Carry yourself high, don’t hesitate, take risks, and be the ruler of your self-identity.
You are who you are. Nope, sorry, I still don’t like it. I guess it would be better used in short-term applications. Even then, though, it seems too restricting. I don’t want to simply be who I am. I want more than that. I want the freedom to be whomever I desire.
That freedom isn’t given, it’s discovered and taken. Luckily it is fairly easy to find because it lies within each and every one of us. All we need is the initiative and inspiration to search our inner-selves for it.
The drive that led Thomas Edison to create the lightbulb, and the determination of Rosa Parks to be treated equally is within us all. It is applied differently by each person, but can be utilized for self-transformation and discovery by anyone.
Life is not simply life; it is what you make it in the same way that you are not simply who you are; you are who you choose to be.
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Photo: Flickr/David Goehring
i love this, mr Ketzak…hope to read more from you!
Well said, Mr. Ketzak! I enjoy your work!!