Many guys say they are able to be more creative enough to make positive changes to their career path when they feel like their wife or girlfriend are behind them rather than disappointed with them.
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My conclusion is that many relationships are set up from the start to breed challenges when one or both partners had trouble supporting what the other truly wanted.
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Wow..I have to say, there’s a lot of control issues going on in those examples you sited. Personally, while I feel a discussion on the subjects would be in order, the fact that I make decisions for myself – which sometimes my partner doesn’t agree with – should be my own responsibility to manage. If I wish to shave my head – then I will do so if I feel that strongly about it. If I only text back 4 or 5 times in an 8 hour work day (which I shouldn’t be texting anyone during work hours) Then that’s… Read more »
This is what MGTOW is all about: being willing to stand on your own and walk away from people who want to control your life. Like Libertarians, these men don’t want power over anyone but themselves. Support from a woman can be great, but at the end of the day you can only count on yourself.
You forgot the other part: about calling women sluts, whores and skanks. Blaming women for men’s suicides, killings and shootings. Saying all/most women are gold-diggers, shallow, deceiving, liars. That women are useless, that “modern women” should learn how to “behave” (read: be submissive and see men as superior) once again.
And of course, that women wanting equality and being treated as a full human being by men is actually abusive to men.
Great dudes those MGTOW. Too bad they never actually GO their own way and keep whining.
Where exactly did I say any of those things? What Feminists call patriarchy is the same system that has been killing men for generations. That is what we need to walk away from for our own survival. You can go your own way and let other men out there know there is an alternative to being an appliance or cannon fodder for the next war. Check out http://www.wgtow.net for women doing the same thing. If you want to debate, do it on things I have actually said.
Wes, Lolabunny’s a troll. If she was male her comments wouldn’t make it past ‘Moderation’.
Thanks for this article. my discovery of it is very timely.
I’m trying to start a new business, one that has the potential to provide a better income than any normal job could. Sadly, I have the support of my spouse, only when money is coming in and not so much when I need to purchase supplies between “checks”.
Hey Craig, Glad you found this post even now. All too often I hear stories like yours, in fact most of my work is around helping entrepreneurial spouses communicate with their not so supportive partners. It’s tough for entrepreneurs when our partners are not behind us. Happy to chat with you to provide some insights about getting a firm foundation built. In fact, I’d like to get you a free copy of my book which covers this area directly. Let me know if you’re interested!! Thanks for sharing. 😉
So much truth here. I absolutely love your willingness to call both sides out for their role in this dynamic. And the title really just says it all.
Thanks Arianna, love having your support and engagement!! I was thinking about how that word neuter would be received and hoping that it would hit the nerve. It does in my life. <3 xxoo
Great work Rick. So happy to see men are verbalizing & engaging! It’s not easy being in any relationship, but
Communication is a start. More men need to speak their mind! The Good Men Project is in valuable.
Thanks Joyce! Your support has blazed a trail for men like me and David to create a new model for open conversations with our women. We must continue to have the hard talks that foster this higher level of courage. xxoo
I can’t wait to meet the man with enough confidence to accept being supported. In my own (small sample) of experience, nothing freaks a guy out more than accepting him as he is. It’s almost like they don’t believe it. There seems to be an especially unique discomfort (and resulting drama) if you accept the thing he hates most about himself. At the beginning, I think some like the tension created by a demanding girl. But I never learned to be a princess – just a person. And that’s not easy to accept, apparently. So I direct my acceptance to… Read more »
Hi Sarah,
Thank you for your perspective.
It will be something to Think about.
Sincerely /K
Right On K…
Great point Sarah! I can remember girlfriends who were “too accepting” of me, but that was a much younger, more confused version of me. Not ready for any long-term responsible connection. Glad you never learned to change for the situation. Being you and a person works for me. Thanks for sharing!!
I like this piece! One comment I’d make is that women (or partners of any gender) don’t have to necessarily support their partner’s decisions. They just need to not assume they can make their partner agree with them. Sometimes it is enough to make your opinion known and respect your partner’s right to make their own decision, even if you don’t like it. Each person gets to decide if they want to be in a relationship where the other person makes the choices they do. They don’t get to force their partner to do what they want.
So true Jay. It’s this forcing (or even mild coercion) that takes it from support to feeling like disapproval. Thanks for commenting!!
Jules nailed it. We are implored to be compliant, to bend over to the whims of women in the name of romance and in the name of being “a good man”. We are told to at once treat her as an equal but at the same time put her on a pedastal – defer to her, put her needs first. All. The. Time. This fuels female entitlement and when we don’t, we are accused of “misogyny” and of being “jerks” who have “no respect for women”, The victim mentality that many women are encouraged to indulge themselves in has created… Read more »
I talk to more women each day Frank that prefer their men to be strong and grounded in ourselves. They know that type of man will be there through thick and thin. We may be seeing a correction of sorts from the swinging of the pendulum too far to one side. It’s up to each one of us to remain true to our personal values. Great message thanks for sharing!
Thanks Jules! If more men could take your advice and step back (on all fronts) we would all be better off. SO many times just a quick retreat and review would make a world of difference. I choose freedom, and as we know it’s not always free. We need to be willing to invest in ourselves, do the work as they say. My mantra is that when we strive to become the highest version of us, we come to the relationship with more value anyway. Isn’t that what we all want anyway? A man of high value and personal integrity?… Read more »
@ Rick, I really enjoyed this piece. Great job… Today’s man is fighting a losing battle with women. Why? The pressure and expectation women have of men today is simply unrealistic. Frankly, a lot of these women are not even worth the effort. Yet, men are literally killing themselves through record rates of suicide. We men MUST step back from women. We need to stop making women and sex the focal point of our lives. Damn near everything we do in life seems to involve women. Yes, most of us want to have stable and lasting relationship with love, respect,… Read more »
Read Men On Strike by Helen Smith and The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar. The fact that these were both written by women speaks volumes.
Yes, it speaks volumes… that it were women who wrote it. Or that women are more sensible to men than men are to themselves, no surprise.
Dude believes there is a “battle”, and that men are losing somehow. Dude believes the “record rates of suicides” is because of said battle. Said battle, suffering and deaths are caused by “women’s unrealistic expectations”. He only forgot to blame shootings and killings on said battle… and women, of course. Now I wonder what des he think women who still have less human rights than men all over the world feel like? Women who can’t even divorce or have their own lives? Women were owned by men for a long time, some still are in some places. THAT is suffering.… Read more »
Long and detailed discussion in Crabb’s “Men and Women; Enjoying the Difference”.
Terrif review on Amazon.
Crabb makes a very good case that the effects on the behavior of men are considerably greater and more profound than Gabrielly suggests. The bad side is worse and the good side–trusted and appreciated–is better.
Thank you for your insights Richard! I’ll check that Crabb resource. I appreciate your engagement here!