How the Dark Side showed me to be a better man and what it can demonstrate to all men and women who are dating.
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*Now, don’t take this title the wrong way. Hear me out*
In our current dating age, something that I continuously run into is how hard technology is making things.
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Okay, so if you’re even reading this article, you likely grew up like myself; with a childhood love of things Jedi, the Force, Rebellion and lightsabers. In the recent Star Wars movie, the sinister Kylo Ren is searching for the whereabouts of Jedi Luke Skywalker. Initially believing one man knows where the data is hidden that will point to his location, Kylo Ren clarifies his desire and demands the location of this data from the man (Lor San Tekka… and yes before you ask, I am a nerd for knowing that).
Despite this man’s attempts to persuade Kylo otherwise, and persuade him to the side of the Light, Kylo knows better and ultimately strikes the man down, warning him with the few words of: “..I’ll show you the dark side.”
He then brutally executes him in one swift move with his lightsaber. No tolerance for iffy answers, no place is allowed for uncertainty. The sinister Dark Lord is swift in his decision and execution.
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In our current dating age, something that I continuously run into is how hard technology is making things, and how much more it is making us noncommittal and increasingly disconnected. From a variety of theories on social media and smartphones, I hear people spouting about making us less connected to others (even though we have a number of “friends”). This, to the deception of social media and how “happy” we can be by only allowing us to show and demonstrate only our best foot forward and not really showing all the work going on behind the scenes (I’ll call this the “Oz” theory).
To the idea that no one really disappears from our lives anymore (aka, I can still stay in contact with any of my exes pretty easily, while, in older days, you had to physically keep them around to still stay in contact). Furthermore, I could discuss the prevalence and ease of how much can get absolutely miscommunicated and misunderstood in a text message or whatever other digital means of communications that isn’t verbally spoken nowadays.
This prevalence of technology and it’s continued use in dating, also goes hand in hand in the rise of “ghosting” (aka, basically lovers straight up disappearing out of someone’s life without many answers). We are all so “connected” and yet it’s easy to feel the exact opposite nowadays more so than ever.
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Now, how does this go back to learning from the Dark Side, with the way technology is seeming to make men and women in the dating world less compassionate toward others? How would I be a better man from the side of the Force (again, nerd) that is standing for the cruel, power-hungry and malevolent? It ultimately is the side that is swift and quick in its execution. Once boundaries and rules have been crossed, they execute and they execute (follow through) swiftly. Puns intended with the exact words also a metaphor. There is no questioning. There is no maybe or gray areas. Once you do wrong, you are out.
This is a great lesson to learn as a man or woman in the dating arena. Sometimes, yes, it takes having someone absolutely break your heart (you) to teach you to not invest in the wrong person or learn to execute better (following through on letting someone go) when those boundaries have been crossed. Unfortunately yes; sometimes the best lessons learned are from the ones who burn us the most (the true dark side; the selfish and inconsiderate, etc.). You usually know when someone is starting to do you wrong, however; you’ve become invested by that time and it’s harder to walk away. You didn’t follow through with the rule of only viewing the relationship as catch and release (until someone made it clear otherwise (2015: The year of relationships and top lessons learned) and usually that person has to be the woman….the man initiates the first 1/4th, woman the 2nd 1/4th, and then it goes to back and forth).
Execute them out of your life, no matter how hard, and you will free yourself and your time.
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Yes, sometimes people lead you on and commit mistakes in the beginning. Yes, men and women both make mistakes in general and some do deserve second chances. I’m not saying to just cut all people out of your life viciously and without prejudice if they do. We all make mistakes, learn our wrongs and what people are accustomed to and their own boundaries in all of our day to day relationships. All I’m saying is to make sure you keep the people who want to be around and who are on your own level around… and all the men or women who don’t care? Cut them down and out of your life as soon as possible, like a badass on the Dark side.
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The Dark Side demonstrates this best, and sometimes we all need to remember that we need to let those men and women out of our life. If they don’t want to stick around and put in the effort, by all means let them leave. Again, if someone wants to leave your life; let them go! Keeping people around who keep on crossing boundaries and don’t make any level of concern or care for being in your life? Execute them out of your life, no matter how hard, and you will free yourself and your time for finding the right ones and better people.
There is no time for mistreatment. Execute the liars and deceitful from your life as swiftly and quick as possible.
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Photo: Flickr/ bright_shadow56