When you hide from love, you will never experience the miracle: love done wrong may hurt for a moment, but love done right heals for a lifetime
—
Naked: na·ked ˈnākid/adjective. Devoid of concealment or disguiseEnmity: en·mi·ty enmədē/noun. Progressive, active, and typically mutual hatred or ill will◊♦◊
Two words that hold men and women’s relationships at a extreme impasse: the first: naked, a.k.a. to be open, honest and completely transparent with one another, which has since been replaced with deceit, manipulation and infidelity. Our relationships lack longevity, endurance, and patience because we seek too much for ourselves. Love is no longer a giving thing, but a matter of what you can do for me. We ask “what do you bring to MY table?” A person must possess something to give in order to receive another person’s love. They must constantly prove themselves worthy, draining themselves of their self worth and capacity to trust to be loved. It’s that or risk being replaced by someone else. This is a reoccurring cycle fueling the second word: enmity.
Men and women have increasingly turned against one another in a battle of hurt or get hurt. Deep rooted disdain for one another arises from constantly being subjected to the same lies, selfish pride and anger, distrust and insecurity, fear and pain. So what do you turn to when you give up on love and are full of hate? Power and control of course. Wealth creates the illusion of power and we all seek it to compensate for our deficiencies in one another. Whoever has the most wins. Whoever can devise a one-up faster wins. Whoever lets their guard down first loses.
Men and women are conditioned at an early age to be unproductive within the structure of a relationship. The things men need in order to love a woman correctly are stripped from them before they even get a chance to know what they are. Emotions is one component. Little boys are burdened with the pressure to suppress any emotion other than anger. They are told that men don’t cry, men don’t show weakness and men don’t express their feelings of being hurt. At the end of man’s ability to reason is his anger. Men get angry and fight; they yell; they get hurt and sometimes they get even.
Photo credit: Getty Images
I agree with some of this piece but this line struck me as off: “Society doesn’t tell our girls their beauty and worth lies within the depths of their ability to influence the good things in men, but instead it tells our girls their sexuality is their power.” This simply sits wrong with me. A woman’s beauty and her worth should not lie “within in the depths of their ability to influence the good things in men.” That makes it sound like women’s beauty and worth is determined through men and that is not how it should be. While I… Read more »
“Little boys are burdened with the pressure to suppress any emotion other than anger.”
What if, it’s really the other around?
What if every emotional display by a little boy is instead misinterpreted as anger?
That could very well be true. As a little boy most of the men wouldn’t allow tears or an expression of sadness, it was frowned upon. Emotions were a “girls” trait. You see boys holding back tears with balled fists and a face full of hot air because he wasn’t allowed to cry. He didn’t want to be considered a “little girl” or any other adjective men used to quiet a little boys emotion. Anger on the other hand was fully accepted, men would laugh and say things like “look he’s mad now”, it would be the only tool a… Read more »
@ John Anderson, “but if you don’t owe me anything, guess what. I don’t owe you anything either.” This statement is indicative of exactly what you are decrying! “People have lost community. When you’ve lost community, it’s easy to be selfish.” I could not agree more. What we are witnessing in America is rampant narcissism. It is embodied with self help quacks, therapists, love coaches, telling people all they need to do is just “love yourself.” or “you deserve to be happy”…..It’s all me me me me..What this is causing is the de-socialization of America. Large numbers of people are… Read more »
So glad that I’m not alone in this. Ya’ll summed it up just fine
I definitely agree with you here. Relationships are lacking the very thing that makes them work. Everyone wants a great love but no one wants to be one.
Who is the “we:” of whom you speak?
Compromise. There is none. You can see it in politics as well as relationships. Politicians want abortion on demand financed by the government or they want it illegal. There is no middle ground. Entitlement has become a dirty word, but if you don’t owe me anything, guess what. I don’t owe you anything either. People have lost community. When you’ve lost community, it’s easy to be selfish.