Making babies is the easy part. What comes next is what makes a parent.
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How many times have you heard friends or family make the announcement, “We are having a baby”?
This is a cute and standard statement. I am sure my wife and I are guilty of uttering those words too. However, when we decide to have children, we should correctly announce to the world, “We decided to raise a child.”
You are going to have to put their needs first, and sometimes your needs will have to wait.
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Deciding to have a baby is the easy part. There is the conception thing (most guys won’t complain about this). Then, there are the first’s; like hearing the heart beat, witnessing the first ultrasound, and the first kicks… ALL AWESOME.
Once we have a baby, though, we must realize we have chosen to raise a child. It is our responsibility, as parents, to do our best to raise our children into responsible adults.
This is important because there are too many people who decide to have babies, but don’t want to raise a child. If you watch the news, Teen Mom, or look around the mall, you will understand my point.
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Our society is filled with part-time parents. I witness many parents who work all week and then drop their kids off at the grandparents most weekends so they can go out. Or, leave their children in daycare for an extra hour or two each night, so they can hit the gym or meet up for a quick happy hour.
Deciding to raise a child is much more difficult than choosing to have a baby. It means you are responsible for another human being. You are going to have to put their needs first, and sometimes your needs will have to wait.
There will be times when you when you have to go to work on two hours of sleep, no showers and wear dirty clothes from the laundry.
Sometimes you won’t be able to work out. McDonalds may be your only option for meals, and you probably won’t get much “alone time” with your spouse. You may not be able to go out with friends, and sometimes money will be tight.
This may not sound as fun as having a baby, but again we are making the decision to raise children. We must be accountable for raising them to adulthood.
All of this takes time and sacrifice. Good parenting is not for the faint of heart because raising children includes more than giving them an iPad to pass the time.
There is no secret formula to raising children into great adults, but here are five ideas to instill in your children that will help.
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1. Accountability
Teach your children to be accountable for their decisions, outcomes, and lives. This is important because too many times, in our society, we want to blame others for what has happened in our lives.
Placing blame and giving excuses is the natural thing to do, being accountable is difficult. Almost daily, there are ways to teach our kids this virtue. If they learn to be accountable, they will have a head start turning into a successful adult.
2. Resilience
There is no doubt life will throw you a curve ball. Something–or lots of things–won’t turn out the way you plan. This is why resilience is important.
When something doesn’t go your way there are typically two options: Put your head down and hide, or get up and do something about it.
We need to teach our children to get up! As Rocky Balboa said in Rocky VI, “You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
3. Hustle
School is great because it teaches our children the basics they need in life. However, hustle is what is going to propel them to do great things. My children are small, and this is an area I want to teach them as they get older. It is important to do just a little bit more in school and life because there are no traffic jams along the extra mile.
4. Life Long Learning
As I mentioned above, school is great but only to a certain extent because many times schools kill the desire to continue our education.
It is important to keep learning after graduation because we need new skills and improve our current skills. I see my six-year-old son doing this now because he sees me reading and studying new subjects.
Our goal should be to raise children into successful adults.
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He recently came home from school and asked if we could get some books from the library on desert animals. He wanted them because they were starting to learn about them in school and wanted to do some extra studying.
5. Compassion
If you are successful in life but have no compassion for others, then nothing matters. We need teach our kids to help others and to love others.
We can teach them to be compassionate for others by walking the talk, volunteering our time, and, of course, being compassionate to our children.
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Again, having a baby is a magical experience, but that shouldn’t be our primary goal. Our goal should be to raise children into successful adults. Raising successful adults is the best gift you can bestow on the world.
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Photo: Flickr/ joeannenah
This article is a completely meaningless quibbling over semantics.
Why don’t we question “what happened to having families” ?
The people hustling and encouraging hustling is the reason why we shouldn’t have more babies. Also when you put your child’s need first you are suggesting they take your position. A child will learn what they see from their parent; therefore, it they always see their parent give they will do the same; however, this world does not live by a standard that if you give you will receive but if you work you will receive. Consequently, to give your child everything to the point you grow old and die leaves more of a scar on that child and is… Read more »
Also you are looking at this all wrong. Ever heard it takes a village to raise a child? It does. So what if they go to their grandparents for the weekend? Kids need strong adult role models in their life. You don’t need to be a martyr to raise a child. You don’t have to handcuff each other together for the end of time. You have to work to raise a child. That child has needs that require MONEY unfortunately. And you may have to go to school, but so WHAT? Teaching you kid by example to follow their dreams… Read more »
No… Just no. You don’t have any kids. You don’t even.. Omfg. You have no idea until you actually have one what the whole raising another human being entails. we all have a selfish nature. We cannot get rid of it completely, unfortunately. No one will ever be 100% ready to have a child in their face 24/7, no matter the age, no matter the state of the finances.. What we are taught is to have a child it any time is it’s a failure. Having kids rank way below everything in this society. But for the people that do… Read more »