A man asks Eli and Josie for help in convincing his wife to allow him to film her in the bedroom.
Originally appeared at She Said He Said
Dear Sexes: The other day, I asked my wife of 15 years about me recording the act of her giving me oral. She loves doing it, and her face looks SO sexy while she’s doing it. It’s just something in her eyes. Ya know? I know she’s self-conscious about her body after 2 kids, so I suggested she keep her clothes on. She’s still hesitant. How do I continue to pursue this, albeit politely? If I get a definite “no” I’ll stop asking, but I want to try it, if only to delete it right away.
She Said: Dude, come on. We’re all friends here, let’s be honest. You’re not going to delete that video right after. Seriously?
I’m all for videotaping the best moments in life (and this is one!) but what’s the point if you’re just going to delete it? I think your wife is giving you a wavering “no” because you’re full of shit and she knows it.
If the act of holding a camera on her while she works her magic turns you on, how about you just hold the camera up and role-play this little game? You can look through the lens and pretend, just don’t roll any film. She’d probably be more likely to do something sort of naughty if it’s actually guaranteed not to be seen by the Genius Bar (or your children).
Thing is, a hesitant “no” is still a no. Get to the root of the no, have a conversation where you’re open and non-judgmental about her reasons. Her concerns over the Geek Squad knowing what song she hums for you are legit, give them respect! Have the talk, try to resolve it, and then let her be if you can’t.
He Said: I’m all for keeping it fresh in the bedroom, and for trying new things. However, some people just don’t take to the camera.
Perhaps the only reason you haven’t received a “definite no” is because your wife is being polite, and humoring your interest. If she wants to go through with your oral video, and allow you your directorial debut, you shouldn’t have to coerce her. If you’ve already made your pitch (a few times) I think you should allow her come to you on this one. If, and when, she’s ready, then you can get ready too. Lights, camera, action! However, there’s a chance you might be hard-up to find a leading-lady (of your choice) for this film.
Do you have a sex question for Eli and Josie? Ask it here – anonymously!
Image courtesy of SPDP
Ah, finally something even I think is pervy. One thing I like about my generation (boomers) is that some of us almost gave up sexual fetishes. You’ll be lucky if she doesn’t break your camera.
Why all this angst ? Americans are still a bit puritanical when it comes to sex . It seems most Europeans don’t think so damn much about their sexual activities . Why is it that the man is the person who ALWAYS wants the video, nude pics, girls on film ? Young ladies today send plenty of topless, semi-nude, erotic cell phone pics from everywhere. There must be a few women out there that suggest using the camera in the bedroom? Men get a bad rap in suggesting that we want to trick or deceive our wives, gf’s and that… Read more »
Dude, come on. We’re all friends here, let’s be honest. You’re not going to delete that video right after. Seriously? Alright you can accuse me of being too generous here but I think there is a chance he is telling the truth. Hear me out. For most people yes having a recording of their sex acts is for the purpose of future viewing, a moment frozen in time. But what if he is getting pleasure out of the immediate, “Oh my god I’m going it on camera! This is so hot!!!” With that in mind I wouldn’t be surprised if… Read more »
Yeah… any no is a no. Just respect her boundaries and leave it at that. If she decides in time that she wants to go further, maybe she will, but for the moment she’s clearly uncomfortable.
Because she knows that from there to wanting to watch her blow some other dude is a short step on a slippery slope –
Go look at your wedding video, we look much better in memory.
My friend. you’re a little full of it. The ONLY reason anybody ever tapes anything is to view it after the fact. Once it’s recorded, it’s in the world of cybespace…with an everlasting life. Which is why I imagine there are more than a few “porn starlets” of years gone by, who took the deal, needed the money, and made the movies. They’re probably trying to be wives and moms today, and some guy at the play ground leers at them, just having gotten hold of some old flick of them on the internet. She wishes she could make it… Read more »
“They’re probably trying to be wives and moms today, and some guy at the play ground leers at them, just having gotten hold of some old flick of them on the internet. She wishes she could make it go away, but it’s done…never to be competely destroyed.”
Unless you actually saw this happen there’s a whole lot of assumptions there.
One of the great arcs of “Boogie Nights” is Roller Girl and schoolmates.
Maybe not. All it would take is a woman that was once in porn but for any number of reasons left the industry and wants to put that part of her life behind her, knowing full well that copies of her short career are still out there. With as much as people complain about porn being so plentiful and the fairly commonly told stat that the average “career” for a woman in porn is about 1 year (I think, but with as quickly as porn movies are made 1 year could very well mean being in over a dozen movies)… Read more »
indeed, there was the case last year of a school administrator who was recognised by a teenage schoolboy at her work. she told him to keep it quiet, to which he agreed. however eventually the teenager couldnt keep his mouth shut (must have shared it with his friends) and the woman lost her job
If I’m not mistaken didn’t someone write about that right here at GMP?
Ok, but we’ve gone from “one fictional and one real porn star being embarassed about their past” to “They’re probably,” referring to the probability of all porn stars experiencing this.
Back in the video tape age I probably wouldn’t have cared as much about being taped because I could be possession of the one and only copy. In the digital age not so much.
Even in the most committed relationship I won’t allowed taping because I don’t want to become an internet sensation after one bad fight or the end of the relationship.
I’m curious if the husband would have a similar reaction if his wife wanted to record him giving her oral. I don’t think he should press it if she’s uncomfortable with it. I guess it’s probably one of those things where people have different turn-ons. Personally, I am glad to have met someone who shares my love for the camera.
Even after 15 years, something could happen between the two of you. How does she know that you won’t use this against her if it does? The internet is powerful and you could use this to ruin her life.
agreed, recording sex acts is a high risk activity
Some people are just uncomfortable in front of cameras… maybe she’s not into it because it would be a buzzkill for her.
Use the camera in live view mode with no memory card in, allow her to inspect it to make sure it hasn’t recorded anything. All of course with her permission.