In that moment, I wanted to give you a hug and tell you everything would be okay even though I had no idea if it would. Of course, I didn’t.
—
It was humid today in New York City. One of those days where you know it wants to rain but it never does. Even though it’s nearly October, it was a sticky day that almost felt more like early July than late September.
In spite of the humidity, I was in search of a birthday present for my brother; walking down Broadway much too focused on the song my phone was transmitting through my headphones and directly into my eardrums than I should have been.
And even in my distracted state, I saw you.
◊♦◊
You were crying. But you weren’t just crying, you were bawling. You were so upset that it didn’t matter where you were. Most people will try to hide this kind of emotion in public if they can, but whatever you were going through was just too painful to hold back.
Your eyes were welling up with tears. Your face was red. But I don’t really recall any specifics about your features. The only thing that I remember is the pain and sadness.
You screamed something to no one in particular as we crossed paths. It was a guttural scream that I couldn’t make out. One that was pained and labored and full of more sadness than I’ve seen firsthand in a long time. I went to a funeral a few weeks ago and no one in attendance was nearly as upset as you were in this moment.
◊♦◊
I have no idea why you were crying. Maybe a loved one just died. Maybe you just received a very bad medical diagnosis. Maybe you had just endured some terrible trauma that you were literally in the process of running away from. I have no idea.
But in that moment on Broadway, I wanted to give you a hug and tell you that everything would be okay even though I had no idea if everything would be okay. Of course, I didn’t give you a hug and tell you everything would be okay. You were out of sorts and walking way too fast and I was walking in the opposite direction with my headphones on looking for a birthday present for my brother.
◊♦◊
In a different world where I am a different person and where it’s acceptable to hug strangers on the streets of Manhattan, I would have given you a hug. And in that different world, we would embrace for a few seconds and things might somehow be infinitesimally better for you. If only for a few seconds.
And then we would go our separate ways to live our separate lives in that different world. Maybe I’ve even absorbed some of your pain and sadness in the brief moment our bodies are touching because this is a different world where a strange man can approach a crying woman that he does not know on the street and give her a hug for a few seconds and tell her everything is going to be okay.
I’m sorry you were crying. I’m sorry that whatever it was that happened to you today happened. I’m sorry I didn’t hug you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything would be okay. But most of all, I’m sorry we don’t live in that different world.
__
Original article appeared at A Medium Corporation. Reprinted with permission.
__
Photo credit: Getty Images
Charlie, I am glad that you exist. I am grateful for your intentions even if they were in hindsight. I am that woman, also and I cannot tell you how often I have recently thought, I just want a man to hug me and tell me, “It is all going to be ok”. I have a huge tribe of beautiful women that love me and hug me but there is something very different about receiving that from a man especially for a woman that has spent years choosing mates that were incapable and emotionally unavailable. I guess that explains the… Read more »
Blessings to you as well. Thanks for your words, and I totally agree about the Universe presenting us with opportunities until we learn.
I’m not one to usually to leave comments… anywhere, really, but this struck a chord with me. Because I was that woman. I mean not THAT woman. When my world fell apart, I was out on the strip in Reno, not in Manhattan. I was walking – almost running – to the parking garage, too upset to even try to hide my swollen, puffy face & the tears that just wouldn’t stop streaming out of my eyes. I didn’t see most of the people I passed, but I saw this man in particular – maybe because somehow, I knew that… Read more »
Jessica,
Thank you so much for sharing. Your experience and perspective is powerful and if I find myself in a situation like this again I will remember your words.
Thank you for the perspective, Jessica.