Seems like you get sicker than your wife? Maybe you’re just extra manly.
The Telegraph’s Laura Donnelly recently reported on a Stanford University study exclusively designed to prove that I’m not faking it. And not just me, either, but all of us testosterone fueled archetypes like weightlifters, football players, bodybuilders and, of course, writers.
It’s true: The Man Flu is a real phenomenon.
Stanford could’ve saved those research funds and simply asked me. I’ve performed an exhaustive study on this subject for over 40 years and have concluded that even the slightest head cold means an encroaching death that can only be fended off by liberal amounts of whining about how sick I am. Meanwhile, my daughter can be running a 183 degree fever while begging me to rent a jet ski for her to ride on the trampoline she’s been jumping on for the last 17 hours.
That’s the cliché—men turn into whiny babies when they’re sick while women tough it out—but at least in my case there’s truth in stereotype. I loathe being sick to a degree that no woman in my life has ever shared. I don’t want to do anything other than lie in a dark room, moan, and mentally work out my last will and testament. So what’s the deal here? Am I simply the world’s biggest wuss, unable to cope with the slightest sniffle?
The crack team of researchers at Stanford University (school motto: All the Cool Mascots Were Taken) examined how men and women reacted to the flu vaccine. What they found was that women “generally had a stronger antibody response…than men, giving them better protection against the virus.” Additionally, men with low testosterone responded better to the vaccine than did their hairier brethren.
In other words, because my writer veins strain beneath the mighty weight of massive doses of testosterone, I’m more susceptible to viruses, bacteria, talk radio hosts, and other parasitic forms of life.
So yeah, I’m sicker than you. Now please bring me a piece of paper so that I can write out this will before my sniffles do me in.
—modified photo Erich Ferdinand/Flickr Creative Commons
Sorry, but I must disagree with this article entirely…when it comes to colds and/or flu, it is a case of taking something for it, getring a little rest and then carrying on with things. I don’t let things like minor physical maladies slow me down, and I am certainly not going to whine and cry to anyone about it. My wife on the other hand will let you know just hoe sick she is every day she’s sick and then some. I realize that this is a humorous article, but for the sake of truth, not all men fall into… Read more »
Me too.
James, you absolutely nailed it. Cultural stereotypes or whatever, being left alone when I’m sick is essential to my recovery. That way you avoid the stress of having to be nice to anybody and can wallow in misery privately.
As in everything, we all react to illness and pain differently. While one person likes to be left alone, another wants to get extra attention. As a nurse I know that all people can be very ill with the flu and should see a doctor for Tamaflu ASAP to reduce the severity and length of illness, In addition to a annual flu shot if possible. As far as the difference in the severity among the sexes, I can see how the vaccine could work better with the chemistry in the female body more effectively than in the male. I’m sure… Read more »
“I can see how the vaccine could work better with the chemistry in the female body more effectively than in the male. I’m sure now that this has been discovered, a ton of money will be spent to find a “male” flu shot I’m sure now that this has been discovered, a ton of money will be spent to find a “male” flu shot.” I know this is a light hearted article and banter but this is the first that I’ve heard of this. And if you think there will be a boat load of money spent on research for… Read more »
Dia, we get our own very special cancer screening that most of us arent a big fan of…. Want to trade?
Hm, let’s see. Starting at age 40 women are supposed to have a mammogram every 1-2 years (you know, the “squish your boob” test.) Aside from that, we are “encouraged” to have a Well Woman Exam, YEARLY, starting as early as the year we start menstruating. This exam involves a very up-close and personal examination of our genitalia (as in, the doctor’s face is about 5 inches from it), things are inserted into us and then there is a “sample collection” which to me feels like the onset of, well, it’s uncomfortable so I’ll just stop there, but it’s to… Read more »
Simple solution, don’t go!
You are so smart, bobbt. No, really. Okay, I can see why you won’t believe me when I say I am speaking my true thoughts about your solutions.
OK sorry, I didn’t mean to make light of the first ‘Shut up, women have it worse!’ response to the article. Now that I’m over 50, my doctor isn’t happy mearly sticking his finger up my a**, no, now he wants to stick a PIPE up there and take pictures! I tell him “What’s up! You got any garden tools laying around that you can stick up there too?” So I ‘Just say no!’
Um, women have to get colonoscopies too. The point is that these procedures can detect cancer early on and in fact should be performed. Just be happy that’s all you have to deal with, and didn’t have to deal with it until your life was (typically) more than half over.
If sticking a pipe up my ass was the worst thing I had to go through, that probably wouldn’t be so bad. But I’ve had my right knee replaced(left one’s due) all the cartilage in my right wrist removed, right forearm is screwed together. I mentioned 300 stitches earlier. that’s a large contribution to the 450 or so in my lifetime. Left shoulder, well I don’t want to get into that. Upper back has bulging discs while lower back has deteriorating ones. Celebrex SUCKS! (Voltarin and vodka far superior!) I’d get a prednizone pack , but I just had one… Read more »
You’re not a man, so I suppose you wouldn’t know about these things, but you should probably consult the Googles in regards to “hernia test” and “prostate exam”. We most CERTAINLY have a doctor staring at and handling our junk, and we most certainly get things shoved inside of us as well (which, for those men who aren’t USED to such things, I’m sure is humiliating and uncomfortable). In regards to the blood test for prostate cancer: For someone who’s deathly afraid of needles (id est: me), blood tests are not really considered a “better” option. Men don’t get off… Read more »
“Men turn into whiney babies when their sick while women tough it out”. Speak for yourself wuss! If I get sick with the flu or anything like it, I take powered flu medicine, whatever other ‘cold and flu’ stuff I can get my hands on , and go to bed and get up the next morning to go to work! Why! No sick days, no ‘Vacation or personal’ days. To put it simply , No work , No pay! Hey, I’ve gotten 300 stitches in my left arm and was back to work in a week (before the stitches were… Read more »
I said “That’s the cliché—men turn into whiny babies when they’re sick while women tough it out—but at least in my case there’s truth in stereotype.”
See? I spoke for myself.
Warmest regards,
The Wuss
That’s the cliché—men turn into whiny babies when they’re sick while women tough it out—but at least in my case there’s truth in stereotype.
That’s probably because by the time men finally admit they are sick or hurt all that’s left to do is whine?
I think culture plays a role in this. When you’re told and taught from the earliest age that admit any sort of weakness, even as part of the process of resolving the pain, is the antithesis of being a man its no wonder guys fall apart when they cop to being sick.
I just emailed that article to my mom. It explains a lot about my father. I take the opposite (but just as manly) approach of basically having to have an appendage dangling off my body for me to even think of going to get medical attention (and that’s only if there’s no duct tape at home).
Pat, you have a point. All the guys I know are like that. While was at dinner with my wife, she looked at my hand (scratched fromwrist to knuckle) she asked what I did …. To be honest, I have no idea. Doesn’t hurt, so who cares … right?
Well, come on! This nail gun sticking out of my head is no biggie, but do I feel feverish?
[Brings James soup, leaves him in the dark wallowing]
Thanks, Danielle. Ohhhh, I’m gonna die…..
I guess there are a few ways to look at this. Some guys welcome the nurturing they get when they’re sick. I don’t know a lot of guys who expects to be pampered other then when they are ill. With me, when I’m ill, just leave me alone and let me die…. ya know what I mean? When my wife is ill, I make my home made chicken vegetable soup…I pamper herto know end. Nut with me, like I said, just leave me alone.
I totally get that 🙂