The MOON magazine’s issue on why they need physicality, and how they emote, plus fiction, poetry and quotes, all about boys.
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In the world of little men, this month’s issue of The MOON magazine brings out big guns, with an interview of Michael Gurian, the author of The Wonder of Boys, as well as an excerpt from his colleagues’ book What Boys Need by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson. Also featured are several essays of both fiction and non-fiction about being, and raising, boys, plus movie recommendations, and even quotes about ’em, including one by GMP’s own, Cameron Conaway.
In Michael Gurian’s fascinating interview he explains the biological reasons, and justifications, for why boys emote physically, act aggressively and need competition, as well as space to wander and explore. He says boys shouldn’t be expected to “use their words,” rather we should be expected to read their behavior, their physical actions. He advocates for men being more active in raising boys, and explains why even though they may not have been taught how to do this (considering that childcare is often seen as “women’s work”), simply being present is all that is necessary, because “men know more than they think they know.” Because this is so important, when it comes to divorce, even if the spouse was unfaithful or bad, Gurian is “begging” women to let their sons see their fathers.
“The quickest way to create a boy or man who lacks compassion is to judge and shame his feelings.” ― Michael Gurian
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A complementary read to Michael Gurian’s interview is provided by his colleagues, Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, in an excerpt from their book Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. It’s titled “What Boys Need,“and it provides both similar and unique insight into boys and men, including advice for women on how they can support men in modeling emotional attachment among friendships (Hint: don’t question men’s relationships based on how women act, men can be close in different ways).
If Gurian and others tell us it’s okay for boys to express their emotions more physically than verbally, then Brian Doyle shows us how. His poetic essay, “We Did,” is the story of how his brothers’ rough, and seeming violent play, was actually an extreme expression of… love.
As a man who has wondered why he struggles to share his emotions, I found a potentially telling point repeated within Gurian’s interview, his colleagues’ book excerpt, and the quotes: The point is summarized in the following quote:
“The quickest way to create a boy or man who lacks compassion is to judge and shame his feelings.” ― Michael Gurian
Read over twenty more, including that one by Cameron Conoway, in The MOON’s “MOON Shine,” a whole page of quotes, on boys.
It’s not all about boyhood either. Issues of adult-masculinity are included in a hilarious and telling piece about white knights, sexism and sex, aptly titled “Affirmative Action Orgasms,” by Nicholas Powers.
But if you just want boys you’ll probably want to read Gurian’s retelling of the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, “to see how it illustrates a boy’s journey to manhood and the roles of family, mentors, and neighbors in raising a proud and praiseworthy boy.”
Check out the full synopsis, as well as links to all of the non-fiction, fiction and poetry on the home page for May’s issue of The MOON magazine or find a list of the content under the tag for “The Wonder of Boys.”
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—Photo daverugby83/Flickr