Ross Rosenberg explains the difference between narcissistic abuse and the human magnet syndrome, in which both partners share responsibility for the dysfunction.
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Photo—torbakhopper/Flickr
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Photo—torbakhopper/Flickr
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, CSAT, is an international codependency, narcissism, trauma, and sex and love addictions expert who provides psychotherapy, training and consultation services. Ross is a keynote speaker and trainer, presenting in 27 states and 3 countries. He owns Advanced Clinical Trainers and Clinical Care Consultants, an Arlington Heights IL counseling center. Ross wrote the best-selling book, "The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us" and is in the process writing the follow-up, “The Codependency Cure: Overcoming Self-Love Deficit Disorder.” HisYouTube channel contains 80 instructional/educational videos, which have over 3 million views and amassed 26,000 subscribers. He has been on ABC Late Night, ABC "Swiped" documentary, Jenny McCarthy's Syrius XM show, Fox News and WGN News. His written work has been featured in the Chicago Tribune & Publishers Weekly and he blogs for The Huffington Post, PsychCentral.com and TheGoodMenProject.com.
I agree with codependent recovery, but I really don’t think it is at all about trying to “control the narcissist”. There is a compulsion with codependency to try to explain oneself, do the right thing, say the right thing, be the right person, so that the narcissist will finally say, “oh! You Are worthy! ” This stems both from the assumption that the codependent is not worthy, and from the assumption that the narcissist couldn’t really be one. Control is, in my mind, something else entirely. Absolutely YES, the codependent continues to engage the pattern because he or she (in… Read more »