Mustache A Day: Lucas Parker

Photo by Sevan Matossian

Photo by Sevan Matossian

His killer beard is only one of the things that Alyssa Royse loves about CrossFit icon Lucas Parker.

I am probably biased, seeing as I live and breathe CrossFit, but I am just shy of obsessed with Lucas Parker and his full body stache.  I love his hairy mug (and back and belly) for many reasons, not least of which is that they somewhat mask the 6-pack abs that so much of the world seems obsessed with. They are indicative of how he generally goes against the grain of what we think of as pro-athletes in general. He’s goofy. He’s silly. He messes around at the games when others are being all “yo, serious, manly, bro, dude, grunt.” And in this day of shiny hairless Abercrombie and Fitch models, the way he embraces his body hair just seems totally healthy to me.

When he’s not “in the box,” as creepy CrossFit lingo goes – and sounds sexual every time, which I hate – he can be found saying things like “in terms of finding balance and fulfillment… as a homosapien, we have a physical and intellectual existence, we have a body and a mind, and it’s important to balance the two.”

All of which leads me to think that even he would enjoy the thing that most makes me smile when I see his red nest of facial hair. Every time, I swear on my own fine snatch, I picture little birds and woodland critters peeking their heads out to see what all the fuss is about. With a little help from Photoshop and a friend who had a minute to spare, here is what I see when I look at Lucas Parker.

Birds hastily added to Sevan Matossian's awesome picture, with apologies and humor.

Birds hastily added to Sevan Matossian’s awesome picture, with apologies and humor.

Thanks, Lucas. You’re pretty awesome in my book, for your whole being. I may just take a tiny trip from Seattle to see you in Victoria, and would love to see you in Seattle – I have a teens class that could use your brand of masculinity!

About Alyssa Royse

Alyssa is freelance writer, speaker, fitness trainer and personal coach living in Seattle with her husband and their 3 daughters. They own Rocket CrossFit where she spends most of her time training men and women in ways that are as much emotional as physical. She can also be found on her eponymous blog, where she pontificates about food, family, politics and the Seattle rain. Yes, she would love to speak at your event, host a workshop or write something for you. Just ask.


  1. Forensicgirl says:

    Thank you for this very interesting post. I have not heard of Lucas Parker before, but he does have that “benevolent wilderness man” look about him. I can see why you envision small creatures living in his abundant beard-he would be man enough to protect them and confident enough not to mind that they were there. My boyfriend is also quite furry (although not as much as Mr. Parker) and I adore it. Of course, I have always enjoyed petting fuzzy creatures. 🙂

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