Shawn Maxam talks about how much he loves having close intimate friendships with men.
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
-Aristotle
Bromance definition: An extremely close, non-sexual, friendship between two men. The term developed from combining the words “brother” and “romance.” Bromance occurs when two guys have such a deep, mutual respect for each other it’s almost like a romance. Bromances are healthy, and celebrate the male friendship.
I had a recent epiphany that I am in love with my very best friends. Of course this love is platonic but it is a deep love. I think it is a love often shared and expressed between women but male companionship can reach similar depths of affection.
I’m not sure that my male friends have the emotional language to recognize this bond we share or they even know that it exist. But every long-term male relationship I have is bond initially formed out of admiration. I assume this love I feel is the love that sons who are very close to their fathers feel.
A desire for approval, bonding, empathy and quality time all expressed within the boundaries of hetero-male norms. Competition, trash-talking, advice-seeking, problem solving, discussing relationship issues etc. I never understood the giddiness women expressed when they saw each other. Or when they we said they missed their friends. Now I do. I miss my friends because I love them.
Weird.
To all the men I continue to love: Danny, Grainger, Capz aka Sonny, Khalid, Trends, Ces, Andy, Jondou, Ledet, and Tiberuis. Thanks for being my brothers.
Please share this with friends, enemies and temporary allies alike.
Thanks for reading, sharing and commenting!
R.I.P. SKH
About S. Maxam
Thanks, we love you too man. I’m not crazy about the Bromance term though, lol.
Seriously though, the idea behind what is now being referred to as a “bromance” by our society is not new. Excluding the “Broke Back” issues that it can be associated with, which is why I’m not feeling the term, men having friends that they are close to like their own Brother is a special thing that’s been around since before “Bromance” was made. But regardless, it’s always special when you can find another a non relative who becomes your brother. I always appreciate that.
Thanks and you’re welcome bro.I agree the term bromance is not unique but I needed a catchy post title. I think the acknowledgement of such close male friendships is very important. They exist and it is great that they do. Thanks for always being there and all your support.
Nice Shawn. I appreciate and love you too dude, “no homo”:)
I have three bromances, men I truly love beyond friendship. Full disclosure: We are all heterosexual and married. One of my bromances is my brother in law (our wives are sisters). We are not ashamed of our feelings for each other. We are comfortable with intimacy. We never greet or depart from each other without a full body hug. We occasionallly give eah other a kiss on the lips. And we never end a telephone conversation without an exchanged “I love you”. Both our wives are accepting of our feelings because they know there is nothing sexual about them.
Thanks for sharing Harold. I am glad that you have several close male friendships.
I love your post, it’s simple and clear.
I love all my friends, male and female. I need to hug my male friends as well. Actually most of my male friends know me for my great hugs!
Thanks for sharing!
Love u man. I would like to have a friend like u but unafortuntely I haven’t. I always put my best in friendship but they didn’t understand what friend mean. I hope one day I will have this friend I’ve wanted. Its not easy but one day he will come.I’m waiting for him.
I am very glad that you did this article Shawn because I rarely hear this topic spoken on but it is an issue that is so essential for healthy male personal growth and development. It is so very important for men to know that it perfectly okay for us to have close loving relationships with other men and that it is not necessary for them to be sexual relationships in order for them to be emotionally fulfilling. In terms of platonic male relationships in my own life I have been blessed with a small circle of male friends both straight and gay that mean the world to me. We hug each other often and tell each other that we love each other just as often. These relationships are built upon the mutual respect and admiration that we have for one another. In fact a couple of us from time to time kiss one another upon the cheek when we greet one another and when we depart from each others presence. In a society where men all too often do not receive love and support from their own fathers, uncles cousins and brothers it is a blessing to be able to give and receive the beauty and strength of love and affirmation from our own men folk that women folk have been fortunate enough to experience, benefit and grow from one another for many years. Without experiencing positive/nurturing male to male relationships men all too often can become hardened and insensitive to others. I feel that one of the greatest attributes that a man can possess is compassion. When my male friends and I hug one another and say to each another “I love you papa” that to me is a very warm and loving acknowledgement of our acceptance of one another into our perspective places within the circle of love and brother hood. I think that this is something that every male should have the benefit of having in his life. It doesn’t matter if that male is his Father, Brother, (In Law), Cousin, Best Friend, Mentor, or Partner. We can be better and stronger men if we truly know that we care about one another and that we as men matter to one another as well. Excellent post Papa. Much Love, Miguel!
Miguel: That was eloquently said and I agree 100%. I invite you to read a blog on my website (www.halbaird.weebly.com) called “My Friend Michael” where I celebrate the relationship I have with one of the men I love. I think you’ll relate to what I wrote. It took courage to put my feelings out where the whole world can read them, but I wanted to celebrate the love that Michael and I share.
Harold – thanks so much for that encouraging and heartfelt reply to Shawn’s post. I am very pleased to know that there are men out there who know the truth and are open to the value that loving and supportive friendships with other men can bring to their lives. I will be more than happy to read your post and hope to do so shortly. Thanks so much again and much love to you as well. Happy Sunday Papa!
Harold – I just read your article and it was amazing. I think that it’s is absolutely awesome that you have been blessed to have such a beautiful relationship with your friend Michael. More of us men folk should know how affirming it is to have another male in their life that will be there to love and support them – someone that will really have their back – awesome.. Thanks for that!
I just revisited this site to read the affirmation from Ken. It occurred to me despite our ongoing “conversation” in December that I’ve never asked if you have a Google+, Linkedin, or Twitter account where we can share our thoughts. (These are the 3 social media I use). Let me know at this e-mail: baird522@optonline.net I look forward to hearing from you. Since we are men of similar thinking it would be nice to keep in touch other than through this blog.
Sharing with other men us liberating
This is a great post. I feel very strongly about the importence of male friendships. I am glad to have a few close men in my life. I am always open to good supportive men.