Shawn Maxam talks about the gift and the curse of living with Bipolar Disorder
An excellent man, like precious metal, is in every way invariable; A villain, like the beams of a balance, is always varying, upwards and downwards.
There is a raging homicidal manic living inside me. Sometimes it overwhelms me with euphoria and at other times its weapon of choice is sadness.
Each side is the inverted opposite of the other. The “pretty face” is quite attractive, alluring, charismatic and engaging.
It can kill you while you’re still very young and can be remembered as a person who had great potential or you live long enough to amass a vast number of friends and accomplishments where those who loved you vilify you or the disease that made you take your life.
The “ugly face” is the Siamese twin who occupies the same mind, body and spirit. Despair and hopelessness is crushingly common when this face arises.
But as I have said in the past only I can save myself. I could remain a victim or wallow in self-pity which is what the villain wants me to do. It plays to its strengths and exacerbates my weaknesses.
Some individuals believe they can use both sides of the villain when it is advantageous. The darkness of the ugly side can inspire one immensely and has been the fueling catalyst for some of our most creative minds. The beautiful face gives you the ability to share these talents publicly. But the cognitive dissonance and paradoxical nature of both of these sides eventually wears on you until either half dominates and eventually collapses the whole person.
“Either you die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” - Harvey Dent
This quote can be applied to the personification of bipolar. It can kill you while you’re still very young and can be remembered as a person who had great potential or you live long enough to amass a vast number of friends and accomplishments where those who loved you vilify you or the disease that made you take your life.
Please share this with friends, enemies and temporary allies alike.
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