I love my family and friends but possibly only one or two of them truly understand what this Bipolar sh*t is really like. During my most vulnerable moments there was a ton of unintended insensitivity displayed towards my irrational thoughts and behaviors. It use to piss me off but anger accomplishes nothing (unless you’re the Hulk). It’s a major flaw of modern humanity to exude self-centered and arrogant attitudes especially regarding psychological interactions. Everyone internalizes their experiences so differently so it’s very difficult to comprehend why and how others react the way they do. Of course if we learned how to be more empathetic towards each other this might mitigate such issues.

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Empathy: 1) the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.

2) is the capacity to recognize and, to some extent, share feelings (such as sadness or happiness) that are being experienced by another semi-sentient being. Someone may need to have a certain amount of empathy before they are able to feel compassion.

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When I use to lay in my hospital bed or sit in the recreation room of the psychiatric ward I was consumed with disappointment that the people I loved the most wouldn’t couldn’t show me the validation I desperately wanted which only worsened my depression. I would then later feel manic which made me gregarious and fun thus leading people to believe I was happy. It was INSANITY!

Mood disorders are emotionally draining for everyone involved. Practically everyone who helped saved my life when I was hospitalized (the first time) are no longer apart of my life. I know the whole experience left them exhausted. And until the person with mental illness finally recovers (which can take several years) it could feel hopeless to assist them because their behavior is so destructively cyclical. Mania->Depression->Suicide Attempt->Hospitalization-and repeat! That happened to me three times in just 9 months.

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So of course my ex-wife left me. Many friends left me. Siblings rescinded their support. Even my mother became frustrated. In the end it was all up to me. I had to save myself. I had to become my most powerful advocate. The word selfish contains the word SELF. I had to focus on me so I could live.

Anyone with a mental illness needs to realize that ONLY YOU can save yourself. No one cares! No one else can!

No one knows how to care (but they try). Don’t hold this against them. Whether you suffer from a mental illness or have a loved one who is afflicted with one just remember…Empathy is the answer for understanding and compassion. Please give it so you can receive it.

Read more Shawn Maxam here.

Please share this with friends, enemies and temporary allies alike.

Thank you so much for reading, sharing and commenting.

R.I.P. SKH