HeatherN offers herself up for anyone who may have questions about feminism or gender politics. No question too big, no question too small!
One of the most common hurdles I’ve come across when discussing feminism with non-feminists is that they aren’t always that familiar with feminist ideas and terminology. One of the most common hurdles non-feminists come across when trying to talk about feminism with feminists is that sometimes when they ask a question about feminism they are dismissed and treated as hostile, and their question goes unanswered.
So, let’s kill two gender non-specific birds with one very cool stone. I am a feminist and you potentially have questions about feminism. So ask them and I’ll answer. No question is too big. No question is too small. All shall be revealed, etc.
To be clear, I’m not here to argue whether feminist ideas are right or wrong, just explain feminist opinions on topics you ask about. I figure questions might look something like these:
“Feminism doesn’t seem to address issue X; why not?”
“What does [insert feminist term] actually mean?”
“I once heard a feminist say X is feminism, and then another say that it isn’t. Which is it?”
“Why do feminists seem so concerned with [insert feminist issue]?”
So, go ahead and ask your question in the comments below. Or, feel free to e-mail me at [email protected]. If you’d like your question to remain anonymous, just say so in the e-mail.
Photo: Flickr/jfrancis
What are the differences, as you see them, among egalitarians, feminists, and men’s rights activists?
Can we have capitalism without patriarchy ?
And would you say Scandinavian countries with their Nordic model are patriarchies today?
I mean 100% patriarchy.
Male sociologist call it feminist states (with a smile) but are we patriarchies ?
Or patriarchy on decline?
Hi HeartherN
Are there any societies today that is not patriarchal ?
And if so, where ?
Quote possibly the biggest question I’ve ever asked. Is it possible patriarchy was heavily pushed by both men AND women as a way to figure out ways which both genders can provide to society in what they felt was best? Since men couldn’t breast feed, and there was no milk substitutes that were easily available the women often had to do the upbringing of the kids?
interesting….
Hey all. Just making everyone aware that the first round of answers has been published! Yay! You can find it here: https://goodmenproject.com/gender-sexuality/ask-the-feminist-answers-definitions-recommendations-and-media-violence-against-men/
well, I guess my questions were deleted. It simply had to do with credability. sorry.
OK, one more set of questions:
Do you think that feminism has a branding issue? If so, why? Would the movement benefit from rebranding? If you think that it would, what form would you suggest that such a rebranding take?
I’ve spoken with feminists before and was told that feminism is not about ensuring equal outcomes. It’s about ensuring that everyone starts at the same place. I’ve asked then how would laws designed to mitigate the impact of the mommy track such as unpaid (or paid) maternity leave, paid time to pump, laws etc be laws that ensure an equal start rather than laws which ensure that women stay in the game, which would be ensuring an equal outcome? Getting pregnant is (usually) a choice. Raising children is (almost always) a choice. Shouldn’t choices have consequences? Is feminism about ensuring… Read more »
Hi Heather,
Here’s my question: How do Feminists view folks who self identify as “egalitarian.” Which is where I’m coming down these days. Are they typically viewed as aligned with feminism?
Just want to again say I’m loving all of the questions. Also, the first set of answers should be published within the day, so keep an eye out. 🙂
Don’t worry, I am definitely going to produce answers, not only ask for questions. 🙂
Is there a difference between Men’s Rights Activism and Feminism?
Is there a conflict between MRA and Feminism that by definition is a zero sum game?
Is Feminism gender exclusionary- can a man be truly feminist? And the follow up would be– what constitutes Maleness?
Is a predatory gay person- ie a PUA, able to claim the mantle of feminism?
Is a predatory Cis person counter to the aims of feminism?
Do gay people occupy a middle ground in feminism?
Are relationships possible in a symbiotic manner, or are they by definition parasitic?
Can a sex worker be a feminist?
Clarifying question: what exactly do you mean by “predatory gay person?” You mention PUAs…but I thought Pick-Up Artists were heterosexual. So I’m not clear what you mean by that question.
In re PUA, I’m sorry; wrong buzzword?
As I was gently corrected last week for stressing firemen describing the men who were first responders and died in West, TX, I’m working on my gender and attraction neutral lingo.
In re predatory– a predatory person takes advantage of other’s weaknesses; physical, emotional, social or economic. In the questions above I guess I was alluding to manipulation for psycho/sexual gratification.
I assumed this was understood as nobody questioned predatory Cis person.
@ J. A. Drew Diaz
“Is there a difference between Men’s Rights Activism and Feminism?”
I submitted a small article on why I became / what informs my MRA. I don’t think much will come of it, but I’d like to see it published especially since Lisa said that with the exception of affirmative as opposed to enthusiastic consent , it is what feminists believe. On the other hand I see huge differences in feminist and MRA philosophy. I concede I could be reading feminism wrong.
@ John A…Love to see it…..not least of which being you use your name. [email protected]… Ooh another question. If GMP is going to have The Feminist shouldn’t it have The MRA???? Cause I gotta tell you back when I was wearing an ERA button and rubbing elbow with the early NOW people I thought I was 1/2 a feminist- I,viewed it in terms of equality all around… As in what was the difference between the NAACP, NOW, JDL, AIM, Young Lords & the Panthers? Last few years I feel like the goal posts have moved and it is that zero… Read more »
I sent it. It will come from [email protected] so you’ll know it’s from me. Maybe you should post it to your site and we can solicit input from other MRAs and maybe get a book published.
I recently heard feminism expressed this way:
Daughter: I’m not a feminist.
Mom: Do you want to own things and choose who you sleep with?
Daughter: Yes.
Mom: Then you’re a feminist.
What do you think?
Yes well… If feminism is the belief that the sky is blue, or that I too am human – then it’s really a no brainer. But this is not where the majority of the contention resides, right? Underneath the hood – it is a political animal that markets, derives funding, gains/loses popularity, relies on membership and identification and endures competing frameworks. Based on the political reality and its underlying set of beliefs, by definition it must be held up to continuous scrutiny and assessment – like any other set of ideas or beleifs. There should be no special status provided… Read more »
@ wellokaythen Odd, I remember a comment that a feminist made. She said that she always believed in gender equality. She supported establishing a men’s center at her university because there was a women’s center. She didn’t identify as feminist until one day when she read a book on feminism . She looked up and told her feminist mother. “I’m a feminist.” The truly ironic thing is that if you look at the fights over establishing men’s centers at schools in Canada, it’s non-feminists / MRAs pushing for it and the opposition is composed almost exclusively of feminists / progressives.… Read more »
Hooray for Q and A;s without those tedious A’s
Glad I havent posted as any questions I had are likely to be used in an unrelated article free from unnecessary context.
This may be weird but: is there any good reason not to be a feminist? I mean, especially if you identify as female (cis or otherwise) in particular, how can you not believe in feminism? Even if you don’t label yourself as a feminist, if you believe in gender (or is it sexual? or cultural?) equality don’t you support feminism by default? I guess it would be easier to ask this if I had a definite definition of “feminism.” Right now my understanding of it is “feminism” = “pro-woman”, “pro-equality/justice” and “anti-gender-based-discrimination.” Is that the jist of this particular “ism”?… Read more »
@ NotJustAGirl “This may be weird but: is there any good reason not to be a feminist?” Again I think this is a question best answered by someone who is not a feminist. “I guess it would be easier to ask this if I had a definite definition of “feminism.” Right now my understanding of it is “feminism” = “pro-woman”, “pro-equality/justice” and “anti-gender-based-discrimination.” Is that the jist of this particular “ism”? If it is, who would be against any of that?” That sounds a lot cleaner than it is. Take for instance infant male circumcision, which is legal in the… Read more »
@ NotJustAGirl
“This may be weird but: is there any good reason not to be a feminist?”
It depends simply said on your needs. Feminism is acting like an interest group which benefits certain women – but surely not all women and not to talk about men.
I have a load of questions that I have always wondered about. 1) Why is it that according to female feminists men are blind to their own privilege, but somehow female feminists can observe that there are no female privileges? 2) Why is it that feminists are very preoccupied by body image disorders in young women and how males are responsible for this, but dismiss female contribution to male body image disorders as “right to preference” and “right to talk about sexuality”? 3) Why is it that feminists talk about that men have no given right to reproduction nor career.… Read more »
I would like to see answers to these as well.
One of the best ways I’ve heard this phrased is why is it when something affects women it’s viewed as a societal issue requiring societal solutions, but when something negatively affects men it’s viewed as a personal failure requiring each individual man to correct his behavior.
….given huge changes in the relative roles of men and women in society over the past 100-yrs, what do you think is the greatest future opportunity/threat feminism seeks to address? Is feminism going to become less relevant in the future?
That leads into a more-general question that, I think, goes right to the heart of so much of the consternation around the label of feminist: What are the goals of feminism, and how do you tell when they have been achieved? When will it no longer be needed?
Yes, I agree this is one of the more important questions.
All these question are great, everyone. Thanks. And keep them coming. 🙂
I won’t be able to answer everyone’s right away, but don’t worry, this’ll be an ongoing series.
I admire your willingness to do this, Heather. I wish you well.
The “P” words. Privilege and patriarchy.
How do you define these words? I know their definitions, but how do you define them in ordinary, non-academic terms?
It has been a day since this article was posted. Do you plan on answering any of these questions?
Yup. This is an ongoing thing. There’d be too much to answer all of these in the comments, so we’re doing articles. Stay tuned, something should be published tomorrow.
Can you name some websites that promote a “humanist” or “egalitarian” form of feminism? And since so many people (men) seem to get feminism all wrong all the time, can you give me some websites that could help them get it right? The next time someone tells me the feminism is about female supremacy and that there are no mainstream feminist websites that give real consideration to issues affecting men and boys other than a few token words or to say their suffering is the result of patriarchy, I can say, “That’s not true. You can go to this website… Read more »
LOL…kinda sounds like you literally have a preconceived narrative in search of facts.
Or he has experience with feminists and is looking for counter examples. Take your pick.
Danny, not helpful.
Heather’s being open and communicative, and recognizing that a lot of people have had bad experiences.
This is a place to be at least somewhat positive.
Who said Heather wasn’t trying to be open and communicative?
What I was trying to say is that maybe black yoda has had negative experiences like he describes and he is looking for positive counter examples.
To me there seems to be a conflict within feminism about what kind of movement feminism should be. Specifically whether it should be a broad movement or a transgressive one (challenging most people’s ideas makes being a popular movement harder, or impossible). Do you agree that this conflict exists? And if so which philosophy would be better for feminism in your opinion?
If a male figure strikes a woman on TV it is seen as assault. But violence by women against men is often portrayed as humourous. Take for instance the 2013 movie called, The Big Wedding, with Robert De Niro, his character gets punched in the face twice in the 2 min preview. Once by a character who plays his ex-wife, and again by the character who plays his second wife – and it is portrayed as humour. It’s sublime because almost everyone in the theater will laugh when it happens, and laugh louder when it happens the second time. If… Read more »
Also, what is the typical feminist stance towards prostitution? While there are a few sex-positive feminists out there, most seem to loathe prostitution, in addition to demonizing Nice Guy TMs and saying that no man is “entitled” to sex.
Why does it seem that feminists want to make it as difficult as possible for men to find sex?
Why is it that feminists demand complete equality and convey female empowerment and independence on the one hand, and yet still expect to be treated as the fairer sex?
(ie. expecting men to make all the moves in courtship, a man can never hit a woman no matter what, etc)
Are they being deliberately hypocritical, or do they only care about equality when it’s most convenient for them?