Where Are the Gays Who Stand Up for Gays?

Sponsored Content

Premium Membership, The Good Men Project

About Donald D'Haene

Donald D'Haene started his own successful theatre/opinion web site: http://www.donaldsdish.ca, is an author (Father's Touch), Huffington Post Blogger, and was one of the male Survivors on the Oprah 200 Survivors Episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, November 2010. Follow Donald D'Haene on Twitter @TheDonaldNorth.


  1. wellokaythen says:

    Fortunately or unfortunately, a lot of people, maybe most people, have multiple identities. LGBT voters don’t necessarily define themselves primarily as LGBT people when they vote. Women don’t necessarily vote “as women,” and clearly hetero men don’t primarily vote as “hetero men.” There is no voting bloc for any particular minority group, just some general tendencies.

    This discovery has disillusioned every expansion of suffrage and every civil rights movement in American history. Women’s suffrage activists were surprised when women voters didn’t all vote the same way but divided in the same ways that male voters did. They were hoping for a women’s voting bloc, but that never materialized. Social activists have been frustrated by this tendency for a long time now.

    Voters regularly vote contrary to their own interest, even contrary to their own safety. They regularly prioritize some interests at the expense of others. Perhaps for LGBT citizens, they don’t see the issues of social equality as their primary concern. I think that’s incredibly short-sighted, but a lot of voters are incredibly shortsighted.

    To me the question is, do LGBT people behave differently politically compared to any other group? There’s a kind of equality here – LGBT people act like just about every other population group. They can be politically brilliant, naïve, ruthless, or apathetic, just like everyone else. Is there an assumption here that LGBT people are supposed to be more prescient and united on “their issues” than any other group is?

    • What a thoughtful response. You make some excellent points. In fact, as cited in my column, when my gay best friend voted conservative here in Canada – he told me it was strictly a business decision. He didn’t want his taxes raised…hmm…doesn’t that sound familiar? I guess our issues are universal – well at least they cross border. Is he conservative? Ha! I’m more conservative than him by far but after he became a business owner he changed. Has this effected our friendship? – not in the least. Now, I wish some of that spirit crossed borders!

  2. wellokaythen says:

    One thing to bear in mind when responding to the death of someone like Falwell is that some of the most rabid homophobes are themselves closeted gay men. The death of Falwell may very well have been the death of someone who hated himself and his own sexuality. It could be the death of a tortured soul, in some ways a victim of his own anti-gay sentiment. I think it’s pretty clear that someone can be a perpetrator and a victim at the same time – perhaps Falwell was a bit of both. Inner hate becomes outer hate. What do you say when a homophobic gay man dies?

  3. That point doesn’t escape me. In fact, I have written here about a partner of mine who passed away
    ( http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-good-life-fear-and-love-in-the-time-of-aids/ ) …he was homophobic…closeted in so many ways…I remember he told me once he thought it was disgusting men holding hands, doing anything gay in public. He was Italian, very conservative. We enjoyed debating such things. Didn’t mean I loved him any less. Heck, my mother thinks I’m dying at “Armageddon” – and she loves me and I love her. I would say I’ve cared about more homophobic men than have given two shits about me. One gets used to it.

  4. wellokaythen says:

    The Republican Party has an uneasy alliance sometimes between “leave me alone” libertarians and “family values” social conservatives. Some of the fiscal conservatives and free-marketeers suggest legalizing drugs and prostitution and removing any laws that prevent consenting adults from doing whatever the heck they want. Meanwhile, their compatriots want laws to enforce a particular type of morality and punish people for doing immoral things even if consensual. The two sides are often united against “the common enemy” of liberals, but I think in the long-term this tension is an internal weakness within the party.

    (The Democrats have their own internal tensions among competing groups, which can be even messier. This isn’t just a GOP thing.)

    • I’ll revert to my inner-Ellen…agreed. Uniting for a common goal can be a weakness but the alternative can get even uglier. And you said it terms of the Democrats’ internal tensions being possibly messier…now that’s a column on its own. You are a very good writer! I hope you go there!

  5. This is a frustrating read because it makes it sound like a majority of LGBTQI people are deluded or irrational and that is just not the case.

    LCR is a tiny group of deluded fools.
    I have yet to meet a single conservative (Republican OR TEA Party) with a firm grasp of more than a couple of issues.
    Key Issues:
    A plutocracy (the conservative ideal) is a FAILED experiment that has brought down many great nations and even this nation on multiple instances. The huge poverty rates in Republican states contrast with the prosperity in Liberal ones and this is seen in other nations as well.

    Social Issues:
    Republicans are bigoted oppressors of minorities, women and LGBTQI people.

    Foreign Policy:
    Republicans are pro-war and want to increase the already insane/excessive and unsustainable level of defense spending, even spending MORE which is absolutely absurd as we already have multiple bases in every single allied nation where we pay for their national defense.

    Energy Policy:
    Republicans say that oil is good for the environment while solar is abundant, free and non-toxic.

    Free trade is a license to outsource. Tariffs protect labor which is ESSENTIAL to economic growth. When the middle class and poor cannot afford to buy what the rich are selling, the economy STOPS and internal conflict begins.

    War on drugs:
    Criminalizing non-violent and victimless crimes is insane. We take productive people and put them in a locked box where we pay their room and board….HELLO????

    The GOP has promised to privatize fire, police, education, FEMA, and medical care.
    Only those who can afford all of these will survive.

    The list goes on and on. The Liberals are not perfect, they are beholden to unions and sometimes do overpay especially in pensions. However unions were instrumental in ending child labor, creating the 40 hour work week, holidays, vacations, sick leave, maternity leave, and overtime pay.

    Want to see a small no tax government with no services?
    pick a third world country.

    Want to see prosperity?
    Look at nations with big government but smart government.

    There is NO justification for voting Republican aside from guns and smoking and really those are not the most important issue. For a woman, minority, or LGBTQI person to vote Republican is simply insane, but really why are we letting ANYONE off the hook on this? Voting Republican (or conservative) is simply put: the absolute WRONG answer for any nation, state or locale. Prove me wrong, I have facts and figures at the ready for any who dare challenge.

  6. Loved your post…very Rosie-like. Yet I have to point out that, while you may have gotten the impression from reading my column (as you write) that I’m saying that the ” majority of LGBTQI people are deluded or irrational” – I don’t think I did …for I said most are Ellen-like – meaning – most are agreeable, easygoing and don’t freak out that we have fellow gays who vote Republican. I also said a ton clucked when Chick-fil-A ruffled their feathers but again – that’s at a non-gay boss and his company they targeted. I wish some of that energy would be deverted to “WTF brothers & sisters? How can you vote for a lying, minority-hater, (fill in several more blanks) as opposed to the closest politician we have had to a Abraham Lincoln since his death?”
    I have a feeling it involves more LGBT people than we think. And then there’s the percentage that won’t get out and vote in one of the most important elections of our time.
    When my gay best friend voted conservative here in Canada – he told me it was strictly a business decision. He didn’t want his taxes raised…hmm…doesn’t that sound familiar? I certainly didn’t thnk he was deluded or irrational. I thought he was just thinking about himself and told him so. When he read this column he told me he loved it. He wasn’t embarrassed in the least. I guess our issues are universal – well at least they cross border. Is he conservative? Ha! I’m more conservative than him by far but after he became a business owner he changed. Has this affected our friendship? – not in the least. Now, I wish some of that spirit crossed borders!

  7. Ps. Here is reason to get out and vote…your vote can make a difference: POLL: Logo Releases New LGBT Voter Survey Results For Presidential Election http://www.queerty.com/poll-logo-releases-new-lgbt-voter-survey-results-for-presidential-election-20121102/ via @queerty

  8. This is a new ad…..why anyone LGBT would vote for this guy is beyond me: http://youtu.be/L2krrzGjDIo

Speak Your Mind