Clothing, Gender, Sexual Orientation, Attraction: Danny talks about the relationships between them.
So I’ve been rethinking a post I submitted a few weeks ago at The Good Men Project. We see that Mr. Spookshow is being rebellious in the way he dresses, but we should be asking this: what effect does his rebellion have on our current perceptions of gender?
For the most part we have been raised to instantly label and categorize a person as quickly as possible, with gender being one of the first determinations. If you look at how gender is used to instantly assume everything about a person, from relatively probable things from romantic/sexual attraction, to esoterica like automotive knowledge and cooking skills, you see how much weight we place on gender markers.
One of the quickest ways to determine someone’s gender is by outward appearance. Clothing covers most of our bodies, thus making it one of the first things one sees when looking at someone’s outward appearance. As a result, people have come to identify the clothes we wear as men’s clothes or women’s clothes. From there one leaps to identifying if said person is man or woman, and from there to all the stereotypes we want. Mr. Spookshow’s efforts are the worst nightmare of people who depend on this form of recognition.
You see, when we quickly label someone as woman or man, it’s often done for the purpose of narrowing them down into neat little bundles and treating them accordingly. Upon seeing someone with a short buzz cut, flannel shirt, and a stocky build a lot of people will often presume they’re a man, and then go to thinking about how attractive they are, how good they are in a fight, and so on. (Also notice that if said person is a woman the insults and jokes often come out. “How dare that person dress like a _____ but not be a ‘real’ ______!”) It saves the trouble of taking the time to learn about that person. So how do you think such people will react to a guy wearing dresses?
On top of the insults there will be people that will be just plain shocked over the fact that there is a man that doesn’t abide by traditional norms and dress in “men’s clothing.”
Clothing is tied very closely to the gender dynamic that we operate under these days. It’s a safety net, it’s a cushion, it’s an assurance that there is some semblance of order in this wild world. Men wear these things and women wear those things. Well, when these lines start to blur, the folks who depend on being able to judge if someone is a man or a woman by the clothes they wear are going to start getting uncomfortable. And that discomfort is going to show itself in the form of teasing, insults, and harassment. But what is the source of that discomfort?
I think one source of discomfort is from confusion over attraction.
Consider the many scenes in TV shows and movies where someone expresses attraction for a person, but then it turns out the person they were attracted to is not the gender they assumed them to be. Big laugh. They saw a person and judged them to be a man or a woman, but they were wrong. These situations are often played up as being funny. Never mind that in real life that hilarious gag too often ends in murder.
For a lot of people attraction is linked to sexual orientation and sexual orientation is linked to gender. I bet that because of this link, a lot of people don’t like the idea of people wearing clothes that are associated with “the other” gender. How will they know if the person they are checking out is a man or woman? If a straight woman sees someone in a dress and is not sure if they’re a man or woman, what will she do? Being straight she may not give much notice to a person in a dress because of the understood idea that dresses are for women. If a straight guy sees someone in a dress they may decide to try to make a move under the presumption that the person is a woman, only to see that it’s a guy.
In short its something like this. Clothing determines Gender. Gender determines Sexual Orientation. Sexual Orientation determines Attraction. If “Clothing”, the first step, is brought into question then in the minds of some folks the entire process is broken. And it’s not too often you see people who actually want to see an established process be broken. But those people are going to have to let that go.
So what other effects do you see coming from people like Mr. Spookshow, who are no longer dressing according to their gender?
Photo by wsilver/Flickr
About Danny
This has been something very much on my mind as I have watched some people try to figure out why I wear skirts. What has really surprised me have been people that I would’ve never expected to approach me we genuine curiousity and ask very respectfully why I did it. I think it helps that I am doing it because I like it and not out of a “screw you” to society feeling. And for me it has nothing to do with my sexual preference, sexual desire, or gender identity. I’ve been a bit of a a non-conformist iconoclast most of my life and if I do it simply because they are damn comfortable and I like the way I look in them regardless of anyone else’s opinion.
As I said…. damn comfortable
http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/5697/normalga.jpg
http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/5697/normalga.jpg
Cool, bro!
I often felt envy for all the nice female clothing (colours, variety, creativity…), while men’s clothing are – mostly – plain and boring (I mean, c’mon!, it’s been over a century and still always suits and ties?!?).
I’m not (yet) daring enough to wear them… but sure as hell, I like the idea of a world where everybody wears what s/he damn please them!
Awesome look, Krishna! I’ve recently started wearing long skirts as well, and have found them very comfortable and cool.
great pic
krishna, how do you deal with modesty issues when the wind is blowing into the front of your skirt?
i buy a skirt size larger than my waist so i can create a 3inch front pleat over the groin
Well…. I associate modesty with shame….. and I have nothing but pride with regard to what you may be referring to
Haters gonna hate
valter, the clothing of yr direct blood ancestors – the roman tunic
(apparently it took 700yrs for the sleeved tunic to be considered masculine)
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1736541184/tt0172495
the sleeveless tunic today.
notice also the defined eyebrow, cheeks, jawline, hmmm
http://www.marksandspencer.com/Cotton-Rich-Plain-Skater-Dress/dp/B001YKC148
@Jameseq: “valter, the clothing of yr direct blood ancestors – the roman tunic”
Yeah… then the Christians came, and the fun ended.
im a crossdresser (im outvoted, but actually it is women who crossdress. as it was men who were first recorded wearing eg. stockings and suspenders, tights, leggings, high heels, knee and thigh length dresses, chemise, blouse)
—
there is a separate, distinct group of men that wear skirts. they have absolutely nothing to do with crossdressers, as they just wear traditional or modern men’s skirts. So for any men, who are looking for an online home for skirtwearing men, and who would not feel comfortable on male crossdressing or tv forums, you could try
http://www.skirtcafe.org/forums/
Skirt Cafe is an on-line community dedicated to exploring, promoting and advocating skirts and kilts as a fashion choice for men. We do this in the context of men’s fashion freedom — an expansion of choices beyond those commonly available for men to include kilts, skirts and other garments. We recognize a diversity of styles our members feel comfortable wearing, and do not exclude any potential choices.
Continuing dialog on gender is encouraged in the context of fashion freedom for men. In particular, we recognize that gender is a complex subject and some of us may feel more “masculine” or “feminine” at times. However, this is NOT a transvestite or crossdresser forum. We are committed to a fundamentally masculine gender identity — masculine name and pronouns. We call it “gender honesty.” Beyond that, what it means to be a man is individual and open to discussion.
This forum is about men, but women are absolutely welcome at SkirtCafe — especially those who like the look of men’s legs sticking out below a skirt or kilt! We also welcome women who may be uncomfortable with skirts for men, but are seeking to come to terms with the idea — maybe because of a loved one who simply insists on wearing the latest A-line or pleated fashions. Transsexual women are welcome, as women.
any men who wish to wear the clothing of their masculine warrior ancestors should probe the tolerance level of their community by starting off small (maybe even in nearby town), and wear firmly masculine clothing around it. i wear a goatee, krishnabrodhi is wearing heavy duty boots in his pic
(apparently it took 700yrs for the sleeved tunic to be considered masculine) – the tunic was initially sleeveless
im having trouble with my noscript on firefox, so i can not nest my replies
So what other effects do you see coming from people like Mr. Spookshow, who are no longer dressing according to their gender?
depends on who is doing it, unless an influential minority (usually of the elite) or for some reason, men enmass decide to wear new clothing. the few men who do ‘crossdress’ will continue to be merely curiosities
now if the change is heralded by an influential minority (usually from the elite class) or again for some reason, men enmass decide to wear new clothing. then i would expect the clothing to decouple from being gendered and become unisex. we can look to short hair in the 1920s, at the time short hair was perceived to be as masculine as a man’s beard. thats why the woman in the below clip, initially has her back to the camera. to spring the surprise on the viewer, that she is a woman. of course, now today short hair is unisex.
clip of interest starts from 59seconds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=684n8FO68LU&context=C33459f6ADOEgsToPDskKESt_rM5Ajo6ZE0ocHR3tj
there will never be gender equality until men, particularly straight men, can do firmly-feminine things without sexual censure. or they must continue to move away from it.
(im bi so i have alot more freedom. im also masculine and a top – in the crossdressing world there are masculine thru to feminine dressers, tops thru to bottoms, gay thru to str8 crossdressers. yes there are str8 dressers – and guys youve correctly guessed the demand for such men. str8 men, you are right to run from firmly-feminine things)
there will never be gender equality until men, particularly straight men, can do firmly-feminine things without sexual penalty.
I thin it’s a stretch to equate clothing with gender. They are associated, but it’s not a hard and fast association, for the most part. What about jeans? Or t-shirts? There are plain women, and fancy men (I am one of them). In fact, in most of the animal world, nd especially birds, the males are fancy, the females are brown. Anyway, as one peacock, who considers himself very masculine, I think that this whole men = plain thing is very cultural, and there are plenty of counterexamples
More and more men are re-discovering the COMFORT of skirts. I am a skirt and kilt wearer and also the administrator of the site http://www.facebook.com/mensskirts. We are truly seeing a revolution beginning in men’s fashion with men reclaiming skirts and defeminising them.If woman are no longer restricted in what they can wear today, THEN WHY SHOULD US MEN!!! If women can have a feminie option in pants, then men can have a MASCULINE option in skirts. It’s time to end the sexism and double standards in fashion today.
As Men;s Skirts says, women and men are not anymore restricted what they can wear. The only problem is that only few peoplw know that. And in case of skirts history, it was always a men’s garment until women in 17th century cut their dresses in half, the women’s skirt was born.
I like the updated article up on the top now, it says what everyone should know to talk about men’s skirted garments.
Since even the Oxford University changed their old dress regulations in men’s skirt possibilities, we should also start rethinking. There is no other more comfortable garment than a skirt for men’s anatomy, and therefor for their best health.