Eirik Rogers chastises Adam Sandler for glorifying and making light of statutory rape in his new film That’s My Boy.
The trailer for That’s My Boy starts with a group of young teenage boys gawking at a beautiful female teacher who is walking suggestively down the school corridor. Everyone has a teenage crush, splash the words across the screen. The focus then narrows to one boy, no more than fourteen years old, and more words play across the screen. Donnie’s … went a little too far. The scene abruptly transitions to a courtroom in which the judge justifies imposing the maximum sentence because a pregnancy resulted. At that point the boys in the courtroom – including Donnie – high-five each other with smirks and gloating smiles.
Adam Sandler has a remarkable gift of taking irreverence to comic extremes. Sometimes we laugh at things we know we shouldn’t – but can’t help ourselves as the tickle of the moment outpaces our sense of indignation. Toeing that line inevitably will result in edging over it occasionally. And most might forgive the occasional miscalculation in the name of such an intrinsically human art as comedy. But in the scenario illustrated above, Sandler has not merely edged past that line. He has taken a large and deliberate step over it to get the laugh.
The premise of the film is that Donnie grows into an over-aged child, a 40-something man who sees the world through the eyes of a powerful and perpetual pubescence. To help extricate himself from a sticky situation with the IRS, he seeks help from the child he bore with that teacher, now a financial professional. The movie is described as “the story of a child…and his son,” and indeed the truth in that statement resonates far beyond the cheap laughs that it is played for.
While Sandler demonstrates the insight that young sexual abuse victims are often locked into childhood—that this experience somehow relates to the later dysfunction as an adult—his savvy falls flat on its face when he interprets it as a joke.
I believe that little in this world is reverent enough not to withstand the jabs of good humor. Humor allowed me to survive the toughest challenges in my own life. Several years ago, when Roberto Benigni introduced a scene at a Nazi concentration camp in the movie Life is Beautiful, I would have never bought the concept that he could play it for laughs and make it work. Yet in one of the most skillfully nuanced comic scenes, he did just that. It worked because the comedy was not distilled and separated from humanity, but instead remained firmly rooted in it. What drove the humor was the extraordinary effort of a father to protect his son. The tears in the laughter stood as strong testament to the fact that love and joy can still triumph even in the midst of darker inhumanities. Not every writer can be a Benigni.
So while I can buy the premise that humor could be painted into the process of how Donnie may cope with his own statutory rape at the hands of an adult (which is precisely what it is), the situation itself is seriously unfunny. To play it as such and then use it as a foundation for a comedy suggests that Sandler’s script delivers little wit and substance beyond the character he portrays. Humor, when played without regard to the underlying humanity, rings hollow—and sometimes even cruel.
It is worth considering what, for some, is the elephant in the discussion. One of the myths that the movie plays into is that of a younger immature boy realizing his sexual fantasy with a beautiful mature woman as a rite of passage. While perhaps most are enlightened about the fallacy in that scenario, it is worth revisiting. Young adolescent boys and girls often develop attractions and even crushes on adults, including teachers. While these feelings are perfectly natural, acting on them is just as perfectly inappropriate. The fact is that in any adult-child relationship, the power balance is heavily skewed to the adult, and it is up to them to act in the interests of the child.
Childhood sexual abuse is the result of the adult taking advantage of that power to gratify to their own short-term interests at the expense of the child’s long-term wellbeing. As such, it is an egregiously selfish act, as well as a criminal one. Could Sandler play to the same laughs if the genders were reversed? Would the relationship be justified if a female student had a crush on a male teacher? What if Donnie was bisexual or even gay—would it be appropriate for him to be high-fiving over a consummated sexual relationship with an adult man? The fact is that in all these situations, the sexual orientation is not the issue—the action of the adult is. The true power always lies with the adult, and regardless of the youngster’s limited perspective at the time, that child will ultimately be left to reconcile the ledger of a seriously over-drafted trust.
This movie will open just ten days after the trial of Jerry Sandusky is scheduled to begin. Many young boys were subjected to the seduction of an adult in that case. Both the teacher in this movie and Jerry Sandusky were mentors to their victims, and both manipulated their young charges into selfish and destructive behaviors, leaving those kids holding secrets and responsibilities beyond their developmental maturity.
A tremendous tragedy in the Sandusky case is that despite a history of suspected, known and even witnessed abuse, the situation was ignored by those who should have stepped in, and the victims were left alone to square with themselves the damage done. No one looked deeply enough, apparently because no one wanted to. Sandler continues to play to this disaffection, except this time with a twist. He implies we can look at it—but only as a joke.
About Eirik Rogers
I get what you’re saying. I see your point, and I also see that this is an enormous double standard that would never be tolerated were the roles reversed.
However, you are using an overused, inaccurate generalization: rape culture.
I will say this for the umteenth time: there is NO such thing as “rape culture.” Culture suggests the nature of an entire society, which is categorically untrue. However, it’s far worse when referring to males as rapists because it is not tolerated and celebrated as the reverse is.
If there is any sort of culture at all, it is a female on male statutory rape culture. That is the only sort of rape that is ever celebrated, excused, and justified. Thanks for pointing it out here.
That’s the point that occurred to me too, Eric. The article is out of step with the cultural reality that rape is something men do–and since the only male in this situation is an underage boy, obviously no rape could have occurred. At least, not one that society will acknowledge.
Hmmm – Rape Culture and film is a hot topic.
See Wikipedia
I find it fascinating that as far back as 1974/5 the issue was being debated and illuminated, and yet some 37 years later it’s still a laughing matter…. if you are a guy … and the target!
“One of the myths that the movie plays into is that of a younger immature boy realizing his sexual fantasy with a beautiful mature woman as a rite of passage. WHILE PERHAPS MOST are enlightened about the fallacy in that scenario…”
No, most are definitely NOT.
Yes – on second thought you may be correct. If Sandler can successfully promote his movie this way to an adult audience, that alone would argue your point well…
None of Madam Sandler’s publicity or relations people will respond to requests for explanation during the movie-intro-slots on all 50 channels.
I assume they see no issue with child rape.
Let’s all be certain to spread the word on this attempt at a cultural shift. Call theaters and make your objections known…PLEASE!!!
AND…BTW: A child cannot ‘consent,’ he can only COMPLY. That’s one basis of the abuse laws, and its being eroded-away every time one of these movies celebrates it. Like it or not, they are in fact producing a cultural shift.
HUGE and important distinction, Rob!
Yeah, I guess this whole thing with Sandler’s movie kind of shows that ,as a soceity, we still don’t take the raping of boys by women too seriously. Still, progress is being made. When I was a boy this kind of thing was totally swept under the rug. At least they now charge the women involved with something some times it’s endangering the welfare of a child(which is like giving them a beer or cigerette). Usually they don’t do any jail time. They’ll claim they have a ‘Substiance abuse problem’ and get ‘Alternative Sentencing’
Extract from Prevalence of Rape Myths in Headlines and Their Effects
on Attitudes Toward Rape
Source
What happens is you change the articles and pronouns in that article through 180 degrees?
What happens if the characters in the film had a quick sex change and the title became “That’s My Girl”?
What happens is today you have the entire same situation as 40 years ago, aided and abetted by the movement to address that previous situation. How little things really change.
I haven’t seen any of Adam Sandler’s recent films, steering a wide berth away from “Jack and Jill” in particular.
However, just the concept of this latest one is enough to make me lose what little respect I had for him in the first place. Sure, he was crass but I found him a guilty pleasure before.
This, though, this just shows how low he and Hollywood have sunk in order to garner cheap laughs and box office revenue.
I think that when it comes to questions about protecting children, we should all err on protecting the child. I’ve had two experiences in my life that were sexually traumatic, one as a child and one as an adult. I’ve had one that was dubious as a teen. I’ve never used a particular 4 letter word to describe even my adult experience, but I have acknowledged that my experience as a teen would be statutory rape. The reason was that I didn’t feel that anything bad happened to me. I’m not saying that it isn’t a bad thing or that everyone is going to experience it unscathed. I suppose the childhood experience could have messed with me and I just can’t see it for what it was.
I started school when I was 4 so was younger than what the school administrators would think for my grade. About a week before my 16th birthday, my school rented two floors in the dormitory of a women’s college. The college was struggling financially so started renting out its space, then went coed and finally merged with a coed college. Anyway the high school girls were housed on the 4rth floor, the high school boys on the 3rd, the college women on the 2nd and the first had the shared amenities like the lunch room and gym. My religion teacher and the counselors were all women so were housed on 4. The boys were told that if we were caught on 4 we’d be immediately expelled, but they never said anything about 2.
Anyway I spent my first lunch break hitting on every college woman in the cafeteria, which led to a talking to by my religion teacher (she basically said cool it with the girls) and a scheduled rendezvous. Anyway I had sexual intercourse twice as well as some other things. It would have been 3 times. A friend arranged for a lady to meet me in my room at 1:00 AM, which was fine because I took my showers at 2:00 AM. I got up around 12:30 and shortly after my door opened. It’s a good thing I cracked my eyes open and didn’t leap out of bed or decide to wait for her nude because it was my religion teacher peeking in. The next day she summons me for a chat and asks if I knew anything about a group of college girls getting caught leaving the elevator on 3. She said that they wouldn’t get in trouble. She didn’t say anything about me so I denied knowing anything. It’s weird how I assumed that I would be in trouble. Years later I realized she was protecting me (I think).
The retreat activities took place on the 3rd floor so the girls had access to 3. They used it to torment us. We didn’t get keys so the dorm rooms weren’t locked. They would steal our clothes and hide them. They eventually gave them back. They threatened to raid our showers hence the 2:00 AM showers. They said they didn’t have to go to 4 to use the bathrooms and 3 of them followed me into one. I guess to show they could do it. It didn’t bother me that much because they stayed by the sink and everything was stalls anyway. I was more traumatized by the high school girls than the college women. I’m sure part of it was that they were feeling ignored and we invited them to our rooms to hang out for awhile our last day there. That calmed them down a little.
I’d love to know what that means in English…
Sorry – my last comment refers to the Trackback:
[...] ďalší film, ktorý si nepozriem [...]
but fell under the comments section instead.
The google translation from Slovak is “another movie that can not look”.