Mark Radcliffe thinks the thing you fear most – even if it’s going bald – can actually become your greatest strength.
There’s a fantastic piece in the New York Times today about men embracing baldness, and it reminded me of my own journey into the ranks of thinly-haired men.
Because growing up as a guy, sooner or later it occurs to you:
What if I go bald one day?
No, you tell yourself. Surely it won’t happen to me.
I’m special. That’s for other dudes.
Then, for many of us, at some point it happens. Maybe in your early 30’s, or even late 20’s. You start to notice it. We call it the creep.
Your hairline starts to recede north. You start eyeing it critically. What’s going on there, buddy.
When it started happening to me, I actually dug it at first. It gave me a sort of William Hurt forehead. To me it felt like I was just facing the world head-on.
But then it kept going.
And I got a little grumpy with it. Hopefully it’ll stop soon, I thought.
But it didn’t. And it was thinning, too.
One day, a few years ago, I happened to be watching World Cup soccer on TV. And goddamn if all of those studly bastards didn’t have shaved heads. Suddenly I saw it as a military look, one of fierceness—an utter lack of fear. And I drew power from it.
My problem was that I was still trying to cling to what I had left. When the real power move was to lean into it; just embrace the fact that my hair was leaving town and help it out the door. Not just surrender, but almost applying an Aikido-esque approach to hair maintenance, where you turn an opposing force into a strength.
And as writer Daniel Jones points out: it’s a new day for we quasi-baldies. It’s been de-stigmatized. We’ve got guys like Jason Statham and Andre Agassi out there making all the ladies swoon. Their bold eyes seem to taunt, Hell yeah, I’m bald. You got a problem with that?
And it’s a powerful lesson to apply elsewhere far beyond personal grooming: sometimes the thing you fear the most can actually be a strength. You’ve just gotta own it.
Jason Stathem looks great bald because he’s lean, has chiseled features and a nicely shaped proportional head. Not every man is aesthetically suited for baldness, so you can’t expect men to just “own” it the same way Stathem has. That would be like pointing to Christina Hendricks and claiming women shouldn’t fear putting on a few extra pounds.
I don’t blame Jude Law for trying to reverse his hair loss, and I thinks it’s pointlessly mean to call it desperate. He’s just doing what he thinks will make him look best.
There’s clearly some kind of quiet revolution going on about male baldness. I never really looked at Jason Statham before and consciously thought of him as a balding man. More like he’s a bad-ass, and you’d have to point out his hairline to me and then I might say, huh, you’re right, I guess you would say technically he’s balding. To me the worst look is to get stuck in the middle – growing out all the hair that’s left into long or bushy patches. The old Terry Bradshaw look. Or even worse, the comb-over. That looks like some sort… Read more »
I agree with the author that men just have to “own it” — instead of feeling badly about losing their hair they should embrace it! And fully shaved heads can look pretty sexy. It’s interesting to see how certain celebrities have acknowledged their baldness (or not) — seems like Jude Law is desperately hoping no one will notice his “return” from baldness! Does that make him less of a man or not?
balding men take inspiration and heart from some of our masculine warrior ancestors. you could wear your hair as they did – it was their ‘male beauty ideal’. if needs be print out these paintings and whip them out to support yr cause. (thats what i do when asked about my clothing, i show people paintings of whatour ancestors wore) some examples for you, im sure they are plenty more: 1. http://greatestbattles.iblogger.org/Ottoman/Album/Codex_Vindobonensis.htm The Delis (they were often from the Balkans) [Bartolemeo von Pezzen, ambassador to Constantinople from 1586 to 1591, wanted to describe Turkish habits and customs to his lord,… Read more »
1. should have linked directly to this
http://greatestbattles.iblogger.org/Ottoman/Album/Codex_Vindobonensis-Edlich%20Wachde%20die%20Mattlach%20Getrellen%20Haben.jpg
My husband has a different kind of “creep” going on – instead of starting in the forehead/hairline area, he’s going thin at the crown – and he’s 10 days shy of 25. His older brother already has a pretty distinct bald patch in the same area. Looks like there’s no doubt they’re going to follow the path of their maternal grandfather and probably wind up with very little hair. In a way I think it’s a shame because I love men with long hair, and when he lets his grow he gets thick, luxurious curls and I love to run… Read more »
I’m also going thin from both directions: hairline receding and the crown thinning. The crown is the cruelest, because I’m in denial about going bald. My husband is extremely bald: no room for plausible deniability, there. Me? I’ve still got a lot of hair. I know I’m past ever growing it long again unless I want to look like Danny DeVito, but I’m just not ready to accept that Bruce Willis is my only option.
Back atcha, sir!
Meh, big deal. You’re beautiful man, just the way you are.